Welcome back and welcome to a new day, a new week, and a new opportunity to learn and grow in your life. My intention is that every show brings wisdom your way and that it plants a seed of positive growth in your life.
As I stated on Monday’s show about Turning Triggers into Treasures, we all need to take responsibility for our own well-being to break the cycle of mental health issues. We all need to look for ways to learn from our life experiences, so that we can evolve into happy, loving, kind, caring people.
I know that a lot of you out there have been through some major trauma in your life and I know it can be challenging to overcome those mental, physical, and emotional struggles. I believe that with any trauma though –– little trauma or big trauma –– little t or BIG T –– trauma is an opportunity for growth. Trauma is an invitation to reset your thinking, reassess your values, reevaluate your relationships, remember what is important to you, and redesign a new life.
I am actually grateful for my tough times in life. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without all my trauma. It’s not so much the trauma that made me who I am, but rather it’s what I learned from the trauma and what I did with the trauma. In every situation, we all have a choice to become better or become bitter. The choice is yours.
I recommend that every time you go through something crappy in your life, step back and ask yourself, “What can I learn and how can I grow from this experience?” The answer doesn’t always come right away, so you may need to ask yourself that question a few times.
I had to ask myself that question multiple times this past week, because I am going through a rough patch with someone in my life right now. Unfortunately, the friction with this person has opened up a lot of old childhood wounds. As much as it hurt to revisit some old trauma, I had to do it to find the answers to that question.
After bawling my eyes out, an appointment with my therapist, and even the interview with today’s guest, the answer finally came to me. It was the answer I needed to move forward in my life, to find peace in my heart, to turn my trigger into a treasure, and to also turn my trauma into a treasure.
The answers you need are within you, too. It’s all about shifting your perspective, turning your tragedy into a triumph, and appreciating the wisdom hidden within the depths of your dark times. Today’s guest will help you find those answers and help you recover from your trauma.
Our topic today actually applies to everyone listening, because today’s topic is about the loss of a loved one. Whether it is a grandparent, parent, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, co-worker, child, or sibling, you have most likely already experienced the loss of a loved one, and you will probably lose a loved one in your future.
The topic of death may seem dark and negative, but my guest and I will also bring the light and positivity to death. We will discuss the bad side of grieving, the good side of grieving and the truth about trauma. My guest and I will also discuss Post-Traumatic Growth, which is the idea that it’s possible to grow after trauma, not in spite of it, but because of it. We will share how to take this life experience and weave it into the fabric of your other life experiences for your good.
Before I introduce you to our guest, just a friendly reminder that I have a few openings for coaching clients if anyone out there wants to work with Wendy. I offer power hour sessions if you simply need to gain clarity and need a little jumpstart to your midlife makeover. These unstuck sessions are normally $199, but in observance of Mental Health Awareness Month, I’m offering them for only $99. If you are interested, just email me at email@example.com and I am more than happy to help you.
If you require more accountability and time with moi, I also offer total life redesign packages to help you deconstruct and reconstruct a new life. No matter what, I have packages to fit your needs. Just go to https://wendyvalentine.com/coaching for more information on my coaching packages.
Also, sign up for The Midlife News at http://themidlifenews.com to get insider alerts on new episodes, live shows, free workshops, and special offers. You’ll also receive your FREE Midlife Makeover Toolkit and a $50 coupon to The Midlife Makeover Method online course.
Let me introduce you to our awesome guest today, Krista St-Germain. She is a Master Certified Life Coach, grief expert, widow, mom, and host of The Widowed Mom Podcast. When her husband was killed by a drunk driver in 2016, Krista’s life was completely flipped upside down. And while it would have been easy to believe her best days were behind her, thankfully Krista discovered Life Coaching and Post Traumatic Growth and was able to move forward and create a future she could get excited about. Now she coaches and teaches other widows so they can love life again, too.
Enjoy the show!
The Nuggets of Midlife Wisdom from today’s show:
- The thoughts in your mind are not facts. They are stories in your mind, and you do not have to believe those stories. You can choose new stories. You can choose to believe that the best days are in front of you, not behind you.
- There is no right way or wrong way to grieve.
- The dual process model of grief teaches you to spend your time into two categories: 1) grief related activities such as thinking and feeling about the loss 2) restorative activities ––activities that are not loss related such as going out with friends or doing your favorite hobbies.
- There is no finish line. We will always have thoughts and feelings about a loss. Instead of accepting everything that shows up in your brain, begin to choose and integrate how you want to feel about the loss.
- You deserve to be more than okay. You deserve to feel and live an extraordinary life.
- We have been taught to believe that negative emotions are problems or that something needs to be fixed. You are a human being being human; allow your emotions to flow through you.
- After any trauma, you have the option to reassess your values, decide the wisdom you want to gain, reevaluate your relationships and redesign a new life.
Thank you so much Krista! I loved chatting with you today! Make sure you check out her show, The Widowed Mom Podcast and her coaching programs at https://www.coachingwithkrista.com. I hope this show inspired you to learn and grow from the good, the bad, the happy, and the sad.
Enjoy your week everyone and happy healing!
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