What is the ONE thing standing in the way of living your best life? Hmmm. What could it be? Your stressful job? Your dull marriage? Your needy friends? Your mound of debt? The gas prices?
What prevents you from being your untethered, unhinged, unstoppable, and unleashed self? What’s stops you from moving forward in your life? What blocks you from being truly happy?
On today’s episode you will learn the one thing standing in your way and 5 ways to get it out of your way! Yes way!
As the CEO, CMO, COO, CFO, and C3PO of The Midlife Makeover Show, there is actually quite a bit that goes on behind the scenes of creating this podcast. If you looked at my calendar, color coordinated of course, you would probably wonder when I even sleep or eat! I do, too!
My weekly schedule consists of writing episode content, interviewing guests, going live on Instagram, creating video clips, uploading episodes on all the many podcast channels, writing blogs, coaching clients, posting on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, TikTok and YouTube, praying they don’t come out with another social media platform, researching topics and guests, designing a new digital course, writing a new book, making Reels for social media, somehow managing to eat, sleep, cook, clean, meditate, workout, drink coffee, dry all this dang hair of mine, and take my sweet little puppy, Daisy, out for walks.
But in between all that busyness … I think. Well, that’s good to know that I think! Seriously, I think a lot about what you need. I listen, I observe, and I contemplate what you need to learn from me, my guests and this show. Similar to what JFK said, “Ask not what your country can do for you – ask what you can do for your country”, I say to myself, “Ask not what your midlifers can do for you – ask what you can do for your midlifers.” I am constantly searching my mind and my life experiences for wisdom to help you create your best life.
Today’s topic popped into my wild mind when I was spinning. Not spinning in circles, although I do that too sometimes, but spinning on my indoor Peloton bike, which if you’re not familiar with the Peloton, it comes with a monitor and live online classes taught by spinning instructors. Anyways, I was in my little zone, sweating like crazy with the wheels on my bike turning so fast like I was in the Tour de France, when the instructor shouted out some words of motivation that really got the wheels in my head turning.
Quite honestly, I don’t even remember what he said, but whatever he said, it got me thinking about what motivates YOU to achieve YOUR goals and to really go after life with grit and gusto like YOU are in the Tour de France. On the flipside, it made me wonder what blocks you and stands in your way from fulfilling your dreams, reaching your health goals, traveling to all those places on your bucket list, creating better relationships, or finally starting that dream career that would allow your gifts and strengths to shine. I wanted to know more about what makes you STOP rather than what makes you GO.
In that very instant, my favorite quote from Marianne Williamson popped into my mind. With sweat dripping down my face and panting like a dog (I know, that’s a lovely visual), I said the quote out loud while I continued to spin like a maniac.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
When I first heard this quote about 8 years ago, it really made me stop and think. There I go thinking again! Those words and the meaning of those words hit me right in the gut though. Do you know what that’s like when you hear something that you know is true, but you don’t want to admit that it’s true? Even to yourself? This quote was so true for me.
I knew I wasn’t demanding the best OF myself and FOR myself. My spirit wanted more out of life, but I was blocking my spirit from getting more. I didn’t think I was worthy to be happy or to allow my gifts and talents to flourish. I placed limits on myself, and even made-up limitations, just so I didn’t have to make changes in my life.
“Well, the kids need me, my spouse needs me, my friends need me, my cat needs me.”
“It’ll cost too much to start my business. I don’t want to waste the money if it fails.”
“I don’t have enough education or credentials or certifications.”
“I don’t have enough time.”
“It’s too stressful.”
“I’m too young.”
“I’m too old.”
“I am too this. I am too that.”
Blah. Blah. Blah.
Interestingly, I wasn’t scared of the dark. As a matter of fact, the darkness in my life was almost comfortable to me. Sadly. I knew how to manipulate my fears, maneuver through my darkness, and make believe that my mundane midlife was acceptable. I was comfortable hanging out in the dark, and I was uncomfortable with being in the light. I was terrified of the light within myself and who I needed to become in order to make my light shine.
Because what does the light mean really? The light means you are being your most untethered, unhinged, unstoppable, and unleashed self. It means that you are allowing your gifts, strengths, and talents to shine. It means that you are living life on your terms. It means that you don’t make excuses or place unnecessary limitations on yourself. It means that you place healthy boundaries in your relationships, and you don’t give a crapola about what other people think of you or how you choose to live your life. It means that your ego is in the backseat and your spirit is in the driver’s seat taking you to exciting and epic places. The light means that you love yourself and you no longer sacrifice your happiness.
The light also means that you have to make a move in your life. It means you have to take action. It means you have to break free from the comfy darkness and push yourself to achieve your dreams. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, dreams don’t just happen. You have to MAKE them happen. Dreams do not fall from the sky. You have to leave the darkness and come into the light.
It’s all about you baby. You are the ONE thing standing in your own way. YOU are the one thing standing in the way of being happy and healthy and living a fulfilled life.
YOU are standing in the way of YOU.
I can totally relate, because I was standing in the way of ME. Honestly, it wasn’t that long ago that I finally got the heck out of my own way! Even though I had a beautiful aha moment when I read Marianne Williamson’s quote of not embracing my power and my light, it took me 8 plus years to fully grasp it and to really do something about it!
Those 8 years were all necessary though. I learned about what I like and don’t like, what makes me happy and what makes me sad, who brings me love and who brings me hatred, how to be courageous and how to be weak, when to make a move and when to chill out, and most importantly, I learned to let go and to just be Wendy. Those 8 years were rough but just like a butterfly struggling to break free from the cocoon, I too had to struggle to break free from my old self so I could fly.
Before I started this podcast and embarked on my solo RV journey across the country, my first big stop, besides my Aunt Annie’s house, was a retreat at Ten Thousand Waves in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I went to this beautiful resort 3 years ago after my brother passed away and I felt this deep desire to return. Ten Thousand Waves was now offering a 3-day Transformational retreat and innately I knew it was something I had to do. I don’t know exactly why, but my RV drove me there. I knew that something would be revealed to me within this retreat. And it most certainly was.
Long story short, after spending a few days journaling, basking in nature, lounging in the spa, eating yummy healthy food, meditating, and taking care of Wendy, I had another aha moment, an epiphany, and the miracle I needed for my next chapter.
I will probably sound cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs when I tell you this, and I’m okay with that, but basically, I heard a voice. It was my voice, my inner voice, the voice of my spirit, and the voice of my Higher Self. It was quite honestly the voice that I usually try to hush, because this voice is always pushing me to do more and be more so I can be happier. It’s the voice that’s always competing with the voice of my ego and all its limiting beliefs, excuses, and fears. For once though, my mind was quiet and open enough to hear what it had to say.
My wild spirit quite bluntly said to me, “Wendy, you need to get the hell out of my way ‘cause I got shit to do! You and all your doubts and fears need to mosey on outta here! I have so much love and light to shine into this world, but you are blocking me from doing it. I’ve let you run the show for the first 50 years of your life, but you need to step aside and let me handle the next 50 years. If you would just let go and trust me, you would have the best life ever. Capeesh?”
Woah. Well apparently, my bold spirit likes to cuss, practice tough love and speak Italian. She’s pretty funny, too. I like her! Nevertheless, it woke me up. It was the nudge I needed to finally bust out of the cocoon and fly. I finally set myself free. I finally stepped aside, and I am so glad I did.
In the same sense that you have the power to stand in your own way, you also have the power to push yourself out of the way. You have the power to come out of the dark scary basement, plow through your fears, throw your limiting beliefs in the garbage disposal, and to shove your doubts where the sun don’t shine. You are powerful beyond measure, and you are so worthy of shining your light! That was my wild sprit speaking tough love to you!
Do I need to remind you that you’re running out of time? Because you are. Get out of your own way and live the life you TRULY want to live before it’s too late.
By the way, my ex-husband died at the age of 26 years old. He never got a chance to even experience midlife. Not even close. So, whenever I whine and complain and block myself from shining my light, fulfilling my purpose, and living my life with gusto, I think about Jason. I think about him saying to me, “Seriously Wendy? I wish I had another day to live, love and laugh. I wish I had a chance to cross things off my bucket list and start a new business. Why wouldn’t you go for it? Why the hell not?”
I agree Jason. I agree.
Peeps, it’s now or never. Stop listening to your ego and start listening to your spirit. Stop talking and start doing.
I’m going to leave you with 5 ways to help you get out of your own way. Yes way! Y’all know how I love acronyms, so I created an acronym that’ll be easy for you to remember.
The acronym is S.T.A.N.D., STAND, as in take a STAND from standing in your own way!
S stands for Stay in your own lane. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing and if they approve of what YOU are doing. Just focus on YOU and do what you gotta do. Period.
T stands for Take a stand for yourself. Take a stand for who you want to be and the life you want to live. Now, standing up for yourself doesn’t mean you have to be rude about. Just simply create and state your boundaries and don’t allow anyone or anything to interfere with your own personal growth.
A stands for Align with your spirit. Your spirit knows what’s best for you and will always lead you in the right direction. You must get quiet enough in your mind to hear what your spirit has to say. Most importantly, you must ACT on what your Higher Self desires for you.
N stands for Never ever ever EVER give up. Like ever. Getting out of your way to live your life to the fullest and becoming your most amazing self can be a lengthy process. Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither will your new life. The key is to never give up on yourself even when the going gets tough.
D stands for Detach from the outcome. Let go of who you think you will become and how your life will unfold. Leave room for surprises, spontaneity, and miracles. That’s where the beauty lies. Let the cookies crumble where they may and just enjoy the yumminess of your life.
It is time for you to get of your own way and take a stand for your happiness. From my wild spirit to yours, you got this.
👇🏼The Nuggets of Midlife Wisdom From Today’s Show:
1. My fave quote from Marianne Williamson, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.”
2. The light means you are being your most untethered, unhinged, unstoppable, and unleashed self.
3. The light also means that you have to make a move in your life. It means you have to take action. It means you have to break free from the comfy darkness and push yourself to achieve your dreams.
4. YOU are the one thing standing in your way of being happy and healthy and living a fulfilled life. YOU are standing in the way of YOU.
5. In the same sense that you have the power to stand in your own way, you also have the power to push yourself out of the way.
6. Get out of your own way and live the life you TRULY want to live before it’s too late.
7. The 5 Ways to take a STAND from standing in your own way!
Stay in your own lane
Take a stand for yourself
Align with your spirit
Never ever ever EVER give up
Detach form the outcome
Well, there you have it folks! I hope that inspired you to make a move! I can’t wait for you to shine your beautiful bright sunrays into the world! I will see you out there Sunshine! Okay Midlifers!
Get out there and BE BOLD, BE FREE, BE YOU!
😍Thank you to our sponsor!
Thank you to Amberen for sponsoring The Midlife Makeover Show! Amberen is the #1 Menopause Supplement in the U.S. and clinically proven to provide relief of 12 major symptoms. I am so excited to start my 90-day Amberen Journey to take control of my menopause! Hot flashes and all! I would love for you to join me! Just go tohttps://tinyurl.com/wendyvalentine (or Amazon.com) and start your own journey to happy hormones! #amberen #menopause #menopauserelief #ambereninaction
Sponsored by Amberen. See Amberen.com for product details, disclosures, and clinical trial information.
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