Wendy Valentine welcomes Paula Swope to the midlife Makeover show

Wendy Valentine: Hey there. Welcome back to another episode of the midlife Makeover show. I’m Wendy Valentine, and today we have a guest who is the perfect blend of brains and beauty. Meet Paula, a self described nerd in Gucci sunglasses and four inch chimichus. My kind of girl who would choose a scholarly article over something petty any day. Paula brings a unique and relatable approach to the self empowerment space, making her a standout expert. Before becoming a self empowerment guru, she raised an incredible. Listen to this. $60 million for impoverished. Well, if I could talk today, that would be great. Impoverished populations. It’s a grant writer. Now she’s channeling her passion for helping others in her debut book, Thought Snob, the modern spiritual playbook for a better life. Today, Paula will guide us through the transformative. So, hum. Meditation using the four soul questions. Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? What am I grateful for? This meditation practice, rooted in primordial sound meditation not only aids in conscious creation, but also offers scientifically backed health benefits. Get ready to gain clarity, insight, and an invisible coat of armor for your wellbeing. Let’s give a warm welcome to the fabulous Paula. Da da da.

Paula Swope: Thank you so much for having me on the show. I love it. Can’t wait to talk to you.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, and I love your accent. It’s so exciting.

Paula Swope: People either love it or they hate it.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, well, I love it. I told you, my family’s from Tennessee, so I know. I know this very well.

Paula Swope: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It really throws people back. You want to try?

Wendy Valentine: Welcome to the show.

When my life changed is when I changed my thoughts, M says

I have so many questions for you, and what we’re going to talk about is one of my favorite topics, because for me, when my life changed is when I changed my thoughts.

Paula Swope: Mm

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. So take us back. before you came along with this whole thought process, positive thoughts and creating a new life for yourself, what was your life like before that?

Paula Swope: My life was the norm. Was just not getting what I wanted. Like, never. Like, never getting what I wanted. And I come from a long line of women who never got what they wanted. They. There’s. They’re still not getting what they want. M and because of their subconscious beliefs, that’s their. That’s their norm. And they accepted it, and they conformed to doing things that didn’t serve them well. And then it just became this cycle. Then it became their way of life, and then they live these lives that aren’t worth living, and they unknowingly handed all of that down to me because you just soak all of that up like a sponge when you’re younger. And so before all of this, this version of me, I was just living a life that wasn’t worth living because I never got what I wanted. And it was, really sad because I was surrounded by toxic people and I was broken a lot. And so I was like this walking example of someone who had experienced a downbringing versus an upbringing. And I came up with that word when I was working on my book, because when I reflected back to my younger self, I thought, well, there was really nothing about my upbringing that really brought me up. It just all really brought me down because everything I wanted to do that was outside of the box. you know, I was told, you can’t do that. Just forget it. That’s not for you. You can’t do that. You can’t accomplish that. And so I was a product of all of those disempowering beliefs and it showed in my physical reality and I had no awareness. Like, I had no awareness and no knowledge that I was creating all of that. I had no idea. It’s not like, you know, I was raised in a, in a rural poverty pocket in, in Kentucky. And it’s not like people say, oh, just use your thoughts to get what you want. No, they don’t. They don’t say that.

Wendy Valentine: No. Now, isn’t that amazing though, when you look back at your life and how you would absorb everyone else’s thoughts and beliefs and their behaviors, and then you adopt them as yours, and then when you hit your thirties and forties and you’re like, wait a second, something’s not working. Right? Like, why am I repeating their patterns?

Wendy Valentine: Right. Like, then you really connect with, okay, this is what my mom did and her mom did. And then until I feel like you wake up and go, okay, I’ve got to break this cycle, this is not working.

Paula Swope: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: And with m, with me, I was not raised in poverty, m, but my parents were m and their parents were, and the poverty just goes back, you know, generation, generation, generation. And so there’s something that goes along with that poverty socialization. And every single person that was raised in poverty or in a, in a poverty environment, they all have one commonality. They expect defeat. And so when you expect defeat and that becomes your way of living, then defeat is what you’re gonna get. And so if you go into every life situation expecting defeat, well, you’re basically screwing yourself completely over. And that’s what I did. I mean, I had, I had adopted. And when I really thought, I thought back about it and reflected on my younger self, I had adopted some really messed up beliefs about myself as early as the age of six and seven.

Wendy Valentine: Yep.

Paula Swope: And that is just so, so dangerous. And when you’re that age and you are in, you’re surrounded by dysfunction. Well, you don’t realize that your family’s dysfunctional. You don’t see that. You don’t see that at all. You know, you think it’s normal. You think. You think that everybody struggles, you think that everybody worries, you think that, everybody fights and cheats, and you just. That’s what you think. And so with me, when I started watching people and I started questioning all of these things that I was taught, I realized that everything that was controlling my life was based on a subjective opinion, which is just a really nice way of saying a lie.

Paula Swope: Is an opinion. And then I started looking at other people and I thought, well, now, why are they so different than me? Why is their life so peaceful and loving and abundant? And then here I am, and my life is like one big, horrible cell papra every single freaking day. Why is that? And so when I started asking those questions and I decided that I wasn’t going to settle for any of that anymore, and I really wanted something better, just that one thought, that one choice, without even taking a whole lot of action, things started happening. M and people say, well, you know, when you’re ready, the teacher will show up. Well, that’s exactly what happened with me. And it was, it was doctor Wayne Dyer.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, I love Wayne.

Paula Swope: Oh, my God. When Wayne Dyer came into my life, he made more sense to me than anything ever had. And he is the person that taught me how to do all of this. And, you know, through his work, I developed an awareness that, oh, my God, it’s really, I call, I call it going from havoc to happiness, because that’s what I did.

Wendy Valentine: Mm Yeah, I read all of his books. I actually have a selfie with him. I met him at, one of the hay house events. And he was just so sweet and so cool. And you know what I love about even Deepak as well? That their teachings are very simple. Like, I feel like sometimes we think that it’s going to be so challenging to change your life, but actually it’s just, it starts with a thought. I know that sounds so simple, right? But it is literally retraining your brain and creating the life that you want.

It’s changing those thoughts, changing those beliefs, changing your behaviors

It’s changing those thoughts, changing those beliefs, changing your behaviors. Does it take time? Yes, it does take time. But shockingly, as soon as you start to shift your thinking, things are already like, boop, boop, boop, boop, taking place out in the universe and bringing the right people to you or the right job or the right, you know, the right relationships, the places that you want to go to. It’s already transpiring. It’s fascinating.

Paula Swope: Yeah, it is. And our thoughts are like, a GPS.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Paula Swope: You know, and it’s like, why would we get into our cardinal and deliberately type in the wrong address? Why would we do that? And so our thoughts are. That’s. That’s like, what guides the, the universe. That’s what guides everything. And so, and a lot of people misunderstand conscious, creation because we’re always doing that. But if it is on a subconscious level, then we might be creating things. People, people, places and things that we don’t want no part of. But then, right when we take it to the conscious mind, then we can start creating what we want. And the way we do that does start with a thought, because that trickles down to impact our feelings, everything we say, our actions. And two, one of the. One of the biggest thing, well, one of the things, I did a lot of stuff, but the main thing that really took me to a higher level of consciousness and got my energy cleaned up and to a frequency that matched all the good stuff versus the bad was emotional intelligence.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, yes.

Paula Swope: Oh, my God. Yeah. I mean, that’s really where it’s at. I mean, I think that emotional intelligence is a strong level of, that will take you way further in this life than a high iq.

Wendy Valentine: Mm

Paula Swope: And so I, I had zero emotional intelligence going into my spiritual transformation or my person, personal growth, evolution, I mean, m whatever you want to call it. I mean, I fell apart over everything because I was taught to do that.

Wendy Valentine: Mm.

Paula Swope: I was taught to do that.

In order to have courage, you actually have to get vulnerable, Steven

Wendy Valentine: I love how transparent and vulnerable you are. And, I always tell it, yeah. But, you know, and a lot of times it’s hard for us to be that way. to just be honest with ourselves and say, yep, I was a total mess. Did not know what I was doing, whatever. But there was, I think it was on Netflix. Brene Brown, she had a show, and it was about, I think it’s called call to curse a. And she talked about that in order to, in order to have courage, you actually have to get vulnerable. You have to, like, if you think about it, if you’ve done something courageous in your life, you had to get vulnerable. And so how we build that courage within ourselves is being honest with ourselves, being transparent and going, okay. I mean, it’s. The more that you watch your thoughts and you learn your behaviors and your limiting beliefs, it can be a little scary because it’s like, oh my gosh, why am I talking that way to myself? Why do I think this way? But at the same time, like, you have to shine some light on it. You have to shine light on those, on those dark thoughts, if you will, in order to change them.

Paula Swope: You really do. And you have to become aware. You have to do a lot of admitting. You have to do a lot of admitting. And, when I started that process that led to so many other things and forgiveness, that led me to being more open to forgiveness and practicing it because I realized that all of that hate that I was harboring towards that list of people that was really, really long, that was controlling a lot of my thoughts.

Paula Swope: And so it’s, it’s so much more than what 1 may think, you know, doing this, doing this type of inner work. It’s. It’s so much more because you have to go through a lot of different steps in the process. And you, you must learn the true meaning of forgiveness, which is, you know, for us, it’s not for the person that did us wrong.

Wendy Valentine: Right.

Paula Swope: It’s, you know, we have to practice forgiveness so that we are nothing holding on to all of that heavy energy and dark emotions because it controls us and it gives the other person the power. Because typically, the people who have done us wrong, well, they don’t care.

Wendy Valentine: Right?

Paula Swope: Usually.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: So, usually. And I was really wasting my time holding on to not forgiving them because I was taught that forgiveness was for the week. And one of the things I remember hearing as a child, as a child was, well, I’ll never forgive that person. Oh, h*** no. You know, and so I would just followed suit. So when I started this process, my energy lightened and it softened and I was more open to things that I hadn’t been before. And forgiveness was one of those things. And so, And I really do believe that comes with the same territory as strengthening your emotional intelligence and your awareness and just how you operate from day to day. And so there’s a lot of, a lot of different moving parts to all. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And, you know, I always think of, emotion as energy in motion.

Paula Swope: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And you have to let that stuff flow through you, whether good, bad, happy, or sad. and I, cannot. What is it, Steven? No, wait. David Hawking. I can’t think of the author right now. but how he had the emotional scale and how each emotion is, has a calibration, right.

Paula Swope: Has a frequency.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: David Hawking.

Wendy Valentine: I’m like drawing a blank right now.

Paula Swope: I want to say Stephen Hawking, but I don’t pay any attention.

Wendy Valentine: Maybe it’s Stephen, one of the hawkings.

Paula Swope: It’s somebody.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, but it’s interesting. So like grief can be at like a, ah, 50, you know, a frequency of 50. And joy is at 800. Right. Or enlightenment is 1000. I, think anger is at like 200 or 250 or something like that.

Paula Swope: Shame is very low.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, exactly. But as human beings, like, emotions aren’t bad that they are, they just are that we’re built to have all of these emotions. But if you allow them to stay stuck within you, they are going to take over you. And, so it’s learning. I feel like the more mindful you become of your thoughts and your emotions, your feelings, then you’re able to move that through you and go, okay, and if it’s all right, like, if you’re, if you’re feeling sadness, it’s not necessarily a bad thing. You just don’t want to hang on to that for so long. Right. Or grief or anger. And anger can actually be very motivating. Like, m. You can be p* about something, like, all right, I’m, you know, I’m a finally going to get the job that I love or whatever, you know, like I’ve got to get out of this career. But, but you allow those emotions to flow through you and to change your life. But I think the key is, in being mindful of those.

Paula Swope: It is.

M so I stayed sick a lot when I was little. And so as early as kindergarten, I believed that

And I just want to, I just want to, I want to talk about this for just a moment because it is so important and it’s something that I had absolutely no awareness of. Okay. So from the time as far back as I can remember, and my mother did not do this like maliciously, she truly believed what she was saying. M so I stayed sick a lot when I was little. And mom would say to me, well, you’re just like my mom. You’re frail, you just, you just get sick a lot. And so as early on as kindergarten, I believed that about myself. And that is a belief that stayed with me. I’m 47 years old right now. That belief stayed with me through my thirties. Like, I believed that I was a person who was more susceptible to sickness than anybody else. Okay. that is absolutely ridiculous. But because I believed that, I stayed sick all the time, I was sick all the time, and people made comments about me always having these debilitating head colds, the flu. If a stomach virus was going around, I would get it, okay? And so all of that was linked to a belief and low energy emotions. That’s why I wanted to tell this story, okay? And then throw in all of the toxic people that I was around and all of the fighting and abuse that I was around that kept my sympathetic nervous system turned up 24 hours a day. I was in fight, flight, freeze. And so that those emotions associated with all of that attracted more sickness. And so when I was 18, I started having bladder issues. And that went on for a very long time. And in 2000, 820, 16, I think that’s when I got this official diagnosis for this rare bladder condition called iC interstitial cystitis. M and what I’m asymptomatic from that at this point is why I’m telling this story, because it’s all linked together. So when I was diagnosed, the doctor was like, listen, there’s no cure for this. You have to live with it. You can make some lifestyle changes, but it’s not going away. And so I just refused to accept that. And I made the lifestyle changes. I did that. But it was still, it was still there. I was still struggling with it. I took the medications. They didn’t really work. I was still struggling with it. And so, when I started practicing primordial sound meditation, when I enrolled at the Chopra center, okay. I learned about primordial sound meditation. And when I learned about primordial sound meditation, I learned that those, those emotions that bring us down, well, they also, when felt for long periods of time, turn into inflammation in the body.

Wendy Valentine: Yep.

Paula Swope: Okay. And so my body was filled with inflammation from all of those years of feeling the way that I did. And when I started the primordial sound meditation, I released enough inflammation from my physiology that I’m no longer. I’m asymptomatic from the iC. Wow. I don’t remember the last time. I mean, I don’t get sick anymore.

Wendy Valentine: Mm

Paula Swope: It’s done. It’s like. But I also adopted a new, a different mantra for myself and a new belief that I’m perfect health. And Louise Hay taught me that, you know?

Wendy Valentine: Yes, I love her.

Paula Swope: And when I was in all these cool people. Yeah. And so when I was in my early thirties, I’m like, you know what? I’m m just gonna start saying that I’m perfect health. I’m perfect health. And me just, feeling terrible. But I started saying that, and I started thinking that. And guess what? One morning I wake up. I woke up and I was that.

Wendy Valentine: M. It’s this beautiful, like, domino effect that takes place in physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, when you start to change your thoughts and changing your beliefs. And really a belief is just a repeated thought. Right? I meant to get, like, all geeky with the science here, but as you know, like with, in neuroplasticity, you have these neural pathways where if you’re, you know, thinking the thought of, I’m not good enough, I’m not good enough, I’m not good enough, that neural pathway literally, physically, gets thicker and thicker and thicker. But until you have that thought of, I am amazing, I am beautiful, I am awesome, et cetera, et cetera, you literally, you change that neural pathway.

Wendy Valentine: And you create a whole new one. And that’s what’s fascinating about the human brain and what, that’s how you become a thought snob. Right? Like, that is how you, like, become a snob with your own energy, your own emotions, your own thoughts. And for me, like, years ago, when I had my total meltdown, I thought about that. I was like, can we wait a second? If I. I’m, like, basically been brainwashing myself to believe that I’m not good enough or to think that I can’t have a great career and a great life and, good relationships. What if I just did the opposite? It was like George Costanza on Seinfeld. On Seinfeld, you know, he did opposite day. He’s like, I’ll just do the opposite. It’s literally what I started doing. I was like, you know what? I’m going to brainwash myself into becoming a positive, loving, wonderful person.

Paula Swope: I brainwashed myself.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, exactly.

Paula Swope: I absolutely did.

Wendy Valentine: Snob you.

Paula Swope: Yeah. Big snob.

Wendy Valentine: You’re such a snob.

Paula Swope: Oh, yeah, yeah. And that’s what I was told, you know, when I was younger, just. And anytime I mentioned wanting something better, I was called a stuck up snob.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: And so, yeah, I mean, you’re right.

We’re wired, uh, toward negativity bias, according to neuroscience

And I’m m no expert in brain science at all.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: But, we’re wired, toward negativity bias. Uh-huh like that little almond shape place in our brain. the amygdala.

Wendy Valentine: Yep.

Paula Swope: The little processing center, you know, for emotions. And. And we have one, bad experience. And that memory’s logged in there.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Paula Swope: And then we associate it with everything yep. Then we make a meaning of it.

Wendy Valentine: Mm.

Paula Swope: And if that’s not interrupted, well, then.

Wendy Valentine: It’S just gonna keep going.

Paula Swope: It’s just gonna keep going.

Paula Swope: Nobody taught me this. It’s like, somebody needs to teach kids this. I know, why don’t they teach this? It’s like, instead of having me dissect a frog, she teach me something I’m really going to use.

Wendy Valentine: Teach you something? Good. Yeah.

Paula Swope: Yeah.

Deepak says meditation can help you catch negative thoughts faster

Wendy Valentine: Well, and you know, I’ve already said, like, your, your mind will either be your best friend or your worst critic. Right. And you get to decide, like, this is when you can be a total control freak, a total snob, and actually take control of your mind and of your body and of your life, and paying attention to the ticker tape of thoughts that run across your mind. I mean, what is it with like, 60,000 words in a day? And obviously it’s hard to catch every single thought.

Wendy Valentine: But I find that the ones, like, the negative mean thoughts are much louder than the other ones, and those are easier to catch. And the more time you spend in meditation, the more it’s. I find it easier now. Like I, if I’m walking around and, you know, I’m cooking dinner or something like that, I can catch those thoughts faster. And as soon as I hear something negative or awful, boom, I just, we’re going to change that thought because I don’t want those neural pathways taking place in there, bad ones. Like, I want the good stuff.

Paula Swope: Exactly. You don’t want any momentum to build a.

Wendy Valentine: Exactly.

Paula Swope: With a bad thought. And I agree with you, I do find that it’s a lot easier. You know, meditation changed my life in more ways than one. And I started dabbling in it in my late twenties and then was pretty much full blown into it in my thirties. but it’s been the primordial sound meditation that’s really, I feel like taking me to the next level. But what I’m getting to is when I started meditating, I was a person that had a lot of racing thoughts. I mean, I was a true statistic. And, you know, I think the data show that 85% to 90% of the 60 something thousand thoughts we have a day are negative. And they’re usually the same, you know, they’re competitive. But I stopped, you know, I don’t have racing thoughts anymore.

Paula Swope: I just don’t.

Wendy Valentine: There’s more silence there, right.

Paula Swope: And so it’s like my mind isn’t tortured and, I used to wake up in the middle of the night just freaking out, and, it would be over. The stupidest things. And I don’t do, I don’t, I don’t do that anymore. I mean, even if I’m really nervous about something or. I don’t, I just don’t. Yeah, it’s like they’re, they’re gone. And so, there’s, there’s, there’s definitely benefits, to meditation maybe. Maybe more than what some may realize, right?

Wendy Valentine: Exactly. How many times a day do you meditate?

Paula Swope: I aim for two times.

Wendy Valentine: Okay, me too.

Paula Swope: I aim for two times. And I always get that morning meditation in, no matter what. and the evening meditation, not always as consistent, but, 80% of the time, I get two meditations in a day. Now, sometimes, you know, I’ll do, always do my primordial sound meditation in the mornings. And then in the evenings, sometimes I might switch it up and do, like a guided visualization or something. Or I might do qigong. so sometimes I’ll, you know, switch it up a little bit, but I aim for twice a day. And, when I used, transcendental meditation before primordial sound meditation. And the best practice for Tem is 20 minutes in the morning, 20 minutes in the evening. And then Deepak recommends with primordial sound meditation, 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening. And it’s very rare that I have time to do 30 and 30. And so I’ll at least try to do 15 to 20 in the morning and then in the evenings, at least work in, you know, ten to 15 minutes and 30 when I can. But m I’ve been a little busy lately.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, you’ve been a little busy. You got that book.

Paula Swope: Yeah. Which Deepak would say, well, you need to meditate more.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, no, I know.

Paula Swope: You know?

Wendy Valentine: Well, and I tell you, Doctor Joe Dispenza, his, his meditations are sometimes an hour long where I’m like, oh, my God. I mean, do I feel amazing when I come out of them? Yes. But I think it’s important to know, like, whatever you can do is good in whatever kind of meditation. I feel like you have to find the meditation that works for you. It’s almost like with exercise, right? Like, some people like yoga, some people like lifting weights. Whatever works for you, right? So, I mean, there’s the guided meditations or the silent meditations. I did a lot of the silent meditations at, the Chopra retreats, which I had such a hard time with, I’ll admit, like I’d sit there for an hour and I’m like oh my gosh, I’m like I can’t take this anymore. I like my stomach would be growling. I’m like oh my God, I just could not stand it. I personally do better with guided meditations with a little bit of silence in between. so yeah. And it changes, it depends, depends on what’s going on in my life. Sometimes I might need a little bit more guided meditation. Sometimes I just want to hear a little bit of music or some chimes or something like that. So but yeah.

The environment that I’m in will dictate the type of meditation technique

What are the meditations that you like the most? Do you like the guided music?

Paula Swope: I like you. It depends, it depends a lot. But typically I do prefer the silence.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: And with the primordial sound meditation, that’s definitely my most favorite meditation technique.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: Ah, but then in the evenings I’ll sometimes I go to this place, here where I live called recover well. And they have sonopods and then a cryo chamber. Oh yeah, yeah. And so I’ll get in the sonopod for 30 minutes and it’s ah, kind of hard to do primordial sound meditation in a place like that because it’s not always quiet. And so I’ll put my you know, airpods in or earbuds, whatever they’re called, and tune in, tune in on get, pull up YouTube and listen to some solfeggio frequencies. And then I’ll just do my, my visualizations while, you know, I’m there in, in the pod. And so some days I do that and that’s a better fit in that environment. And so the environment that I’m in will dictate, the type of meditation technique that I use a lot too. M, yes. And you know, and you know, for people listening, meditation doesn’t have to be this rigid, formal thing. You don’t have to sit a certain way. I mean you don’t, you don’t have to stop your thoughts. It’s impossible, I mean to, to just, I mean you don’t ever want to force stopping your thoughts. You just need to let them come and go and not judge them.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Paula Swope: And the more you meditate, then that’s going to be less of a problem and.

Wendy Valentine: Exactly.

Paula Swope: And when you have all these thoughts, you know, you’re releasing stress and so it’s actually a good thing when you have those thoughts. I mean if your thoughts stop, you’re flatlining and so you don’t want.

Wendy Valentine: That would not be good.

Paula Swope: Right? And so, Yeah, so I just wanted to say that because I have. So I have a lot of people say to me, I can’t meditate. I can’t do it because I can’t. I can’t stop my thoughts. You don’t want to do that. You don’t want to do that anyway. It’s not what. You don’t do that. Don’t even.

Wendy Valentine: You’re really just. You’re just observing. You’re just watching, like, as if there’s. There are clouds going by in the sky, like, oh, look at that. There it goes. There it goes. And. And again, it’s like, I feel like the more that you recognize those thoughts, the positive and the negative, then as you’re going throughout your day, it’s easier for you to be able to go, okay, that’s. That was not good that I bought that. Like, let me change that. Let me flip that to a positive. And it’s not so much like, okay, it’s just positive thinking. You’re not going to. Again, we’re human beings being human. We’re not going to be, like, happy go lucky 24/7 it’s just impossible. But it’s just being mindful of it.

Primordial sound meditation is based on, uh, primordial sounds

let’s talk about the primordial sound meditation, if you don’t mind sharing about that.

Paula Swope: Oh, sure. So this is something that I learned through the Chopra center and, primordial sound meditation. Deepak Chopra is the person who, I’m getting my notes here because I don’t want to get any dates wrong. So in the early nineties, deepak, along with, David Simon. And David Simon is no longer with us.

Wendy Valentine: I know. He was so great. Yeah.

Paula Swope: and so they got together and, they revived and kind of packaged this technique so that the western world could use it. And it’s absolutely fascinating because the practice is based on, primordial sounds, and those are nature’s most basic sounds, or vibrations. And I. There are 108 of those sounds. And those sounds are the mantras that we use in primordial sound meditation. And so you can actually get trained to use primordial sound meditation. And when you do that, I put your birth date, the time you were born, and the location of your birth into a calculator through vedic mathematics, then I can find the sound that the universe was making at the time of your birth.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. I know. That is so cool. I can still remember mine.

Paula Swope: right. I mean, it’s. That is so cool. And so that would be the mantra that you would use during your primordial sound meditation. But the meditation that I’m going to teach today uses so humidous, which is the sanskrit mantra, primordial sound meditation, they’re all sanskrit mantras. And so, so hum is just a universal mantra. It doesn’t really have any meaning. it’s just there for you to silently repeat it and it just gets you into the gap maybe a little bit quicker. It helps you, helps you to transcend. And, and so that’s, pretty much, just a quick and dirty overview of what primordial sound meditation is. Because, I mean, really, if I got into the, all the nuts and bolts of it, we’d be here until tomorrow morning.

Maharishi says you can manifest anything you want by asking four soul questions

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, well, and then there’s the four, the four questions that you can ask as you’re sitting in the meditation, right? So the first one is, who am m I?

Paula Swope: Who am I? What do I want? What is my purpose? And what am I grateful for? And so the primordial sound meditation, it’s like it’s, you know, there’s a, there is a beginning and there’s an end. And so it’s like these bookends. And so you start with asking yourself those four soul questions. And according to Maharishi, the inventor of tm, transcendental meditation, he claimed that you can absolutely create anything you want, you can manifest anything you want just by asking yourself those four soul questions every single day. So just wanted to throw that tidbit of wisdom in there. So you ask yourself those four soul questions and then you just go into repeating the mantra. You just silently repeat, so, and you repeat it over and over again. And when a thought, you know, comes into your mind, and it will, then you just choose the mantra, you just, you just gently, just go back to the mantra. And so if you start thinking about, oh, I’ve got to go to the grocery store or I’ve got to go pick this up or I got to do this, then you’re just going to go back and you’re just going to choose. So, hum. And you’re just going to keep repeating that. Keep repeating that and keep repeating that.

Paula Swope: And then you close out your meditation by repeating the four soul intentions. And those are joyful, energetic, body loving, compassionate, heart, reflective, alert mind and lightness of being. And if you have those four things in your life and you’re pretty much living the perfect existence.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly.

Paula Swope: And so by silently repeating those things and asking yourself those questions, you’re you’re, you’re not only just meditating, but you’re also telling your subconscious a new story. You’re telling your subconscious something that actually benefits you versus tearing you to pieces.

Wendy Valentine: Mm What if someone is like, they’re asking those questions to themselves and they really don’t know the answers?

Paula Swope: Sometimes the answers don’t come. I mean, when you’re asking yourself those questions and usually when you’re in the silence and you’re in meditation, the answers don’t usually come. It’s like you get the benefits when you’re outside an activity and operating around. When you get the answers to those questions and they’re not usually audible, it’s usually your intuition. It gets tuned up in a big way and you just find yourself operating just a little bit differently than you have before. And it starts out with subtle changes and then all of a sudden, those subtle changes turn into completely revamping your whole existence. And that’s really how the answers come.

Paula Swope: and your ego will play tricks on you too, because when you first start asking yourself those questions, you’re going to have some crazy stuff pop into your head.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: And it’s like, that’s why you can’t judge it. It’s like you said, you’re observing, you’re witnessing these thoughts, you’re witnessing these emotions. And so if you start to use this, so hum. Meditation and you start asking yourself those questions, then if you have some crazy, fearful answers popping up, just let it go. Paying attention to that.

Wendy Valentine: I can remember always getting stuck at the time, like years ago at the, what is my purpose? I was like, I don’t know what my purpose is. Yeah. And then like, I would hate, like getting to, I’m like, oh, I don’t want to get to that question because I don’t know the answer. And then when I finally was like, I’m just going to let go of it. I, like, I don’t. The answers are there. The answers are within us. They’re all around us. We just, sometimes it’s clearing out that, like, shutting out the noise. That’s how you hear the answers. So even if. Right, so even when you ask those questions to yourself, if you, if it’s not coming to you right away, that doesn’t mean it’s not there. Just the more you shut down that noise, then you’ll hear it more.

Paula Swope: Exactly. And the answers will change too. Yeah, the answers will change. Because when I ask myself in this day and time, what do I want? Well, okay, that that was, you know, the totally different than, it was ten years ago. And so as you use this, that’s something else you just need to be mindful of because you change and your wants change and your desires change. And so the answers are always going to be different, but the answers really come in the form of divine guidance. I mean, that’s where they come from.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. And actually the first question, who am I?

Wendy Valentine: I can remember always answering things like, well, I’m a mom, I’m a daughter, I’m a teacher, I’m a yemenite that, you know, like I’d have all of these labels.

Wendy Valentine: And then eventually I was like, really so much more than all those labels. I’m much more than all of that. M. And so the who am I kind of got to be more of a nice silent answer for me. Something.

Paula Swope: Bigger.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, exactly. Or if anything, it would be kind of like a, ah, positive affirmation about myself.

Paula Swope: Oh, yeah, yeah.

Paula Swope: Absolutely.

Wendy Valentine: Beautiful, loving being or whatever. Right. So it’s not the who am I isn’t always necessarily like a vocation or, you know, a job title or something like that.

Paula Swope: You’re exactly right. And when most people ask themselves that question, they immediately go to those titles.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Paula Swope: And all of the stories that are associated with those labels. Yeah, yeah. I think everybody does that in the beginning. but what it really boils down to, just like you said, who you are is a really beautiful, compassionate person.

Paula Swope: And those things trickle down in one way or the other to benefit other people.

To help somebody, you know, I mean, you’re absolutely benefiting yourself

To help somebody, you know, I mean, you’re absolutely benefiting yourself. But then, because you’re open to that and you act on what you really are, then other people benefit from it.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Paula Swope: That’s really, you know, a great way, I think, to frame life purpose. Mm.

Wendy Valentine: Exactly.

When you change your thoughts, everything changes. Everything changes from head to toe

Well, and speaking of Wayne Dyer. Right. Change your thoughts and you change your life. You change your world and you do. It’s fascinating to see what happens as you change your thoughts, how your relationships will change, how people receive you and how you speak and how you’re spoken to. Like everything. Just like this beautiful butterfly effect that takes place when you change your thoughts.

Paula Swope: You’re right. And I used to, and this is just a, this is just a silly little example.

Paula Swope: But when I was destroying my life with my thoughts and words and actions and everything that I was doing and my emotions, I could not go to a restaurant and it go the way that I wanted it to. Go.

Paula Swope: And it became this joke because I would go to a restaurant and whatever I ordered on the menu, they wouldn’t have it. They would have either ran out of it or they didn’t carry it anymore or just something stupid. It was just something stupid all the time.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: And people were very disrespectful to me. But then when I cleaned up my energy and stopped treating my mind like a landfill, it changed. My experiences were pleasant and joyful, and people weren’t disrespectful. And I remember one, thing that I, that I noticed, many, many, many years ago when I got on this path, is people. People started giving me gifts for m no reason. M. And that still goes on to this day.

Wendy Valentine: Isn’t that wild?

Paula Swope: Yeah, it is. Everything changes from head to toe.

Wendy Valentine: And I find it like, the synchronicities just like, multiply. Like, you know, you think of someone and they call you, or, you know, whatever you think of something and then you accidentally step it on the sidewalk or whatever, just wild synchronicities take place.

Paula Swope: Yes. And I never experienced anything like that until m. I got, I adopted this lifestyle.

Paula Swope: And I didn’t understand the difference between coincidence and synchronicity when it first started happening to me. And so I would just write it off as a coincidence.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: It’s not a coincidence. I no longer even believe in coincidence. I don’t even entertain a coincidence. And so. But the synchronicities, when I realized what was going on and educated myself about why that was happening and what they were, oh, man, I love some synchronicity. I mean, I embrace it because that is my tangible evidence, from the divine, that I am doing something. Right.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Paula Swope: And something. Something’s coming. And so. Oh, yeah, the synchronicity. I love it.

Wendy Valentine: Live.

Paula Swope: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Then once you get aligned with that frequency, it’s like, ooh, like, what else am I going to create in my life, right? It gets exciting.

Everything is made up of energy, everything is made with atoms

I want to point out, too, like, you had mentioned the word energy just a little while ago, and I learned this from doctor dispenza, about, so this is another geeky thing, but an atom is 99.99,999% energy, and it leaves only 0.001% matter. What’s interesting, majority of the time, we concentrate on that tiny, tiny little bit of matter, right? So we’re made up of atoms. Everything. If you look around, everything is made with atoms, which is 99.999% energy. Your thoughts are energy, your emotions are energy, everything is energy. And it’s like when you realize you’re this magnificent ball of energy in the universe and your thoughts create what you want. That’s when you really become mindful and careful about what you’re thinking and believing, knowing that, whatever you’re putting out there is going to come right back to you.

Paula Swope: You’re right.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, it’s so, yeah, yeah, so it is. It’s like, yes. It’s changing your thoughts. At the same time, you’re really changing.

Paula Swope: Your energy, changing everything and.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: Also, too, when you can look at everybody around you as energy, too, and being from the same source.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Paula Swope: And it really, really helps to deal with the people who, have energy that aren’t for you.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. Yeah. It’s kind of like I had said in the intro, it’s about having this, like, invisible armor, you know, like you, you do, you learn you can pick up other people’s energy much quicker and know, like, you can protect yourself, you can take care of yourself. You don’t have to surround yourself with crappy energy.

Paula Swope: No, no. And, and in this day and time, it’s really, really hard for anybody that’s got that type of energy to even find me. Like, I don’t even encounter people like that anymore. More.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, I know.

Paula Swope: I used to run into them everywhere.

Wendy Valentine: I had them in my life.

Paula Swope: Like, same. Loved them. Come on in. You know, keep on.

Wendy Valentine: You know what? Let’s just point this out that sometimes when you, you might have to do a little decluttering in your life, right? Like, if you’re noticing some horrible negative energy in your life, that’s not serving you well, that’s keeping your energy down, then. Might need to do a little decluttering.

Paula Swope: Oh, yeah. My inner circle went from like, you know, 200 to two.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, me too. I mean, I’ll just keep my kids and that’s about it.

Paula Swope: Keep my dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wendy Valentine: it’s fascinating, though.

Paula Swope: It’s fascinating.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: And I had to realize, I realized too, that not everybody’s all good and not everybody’s all bad, but there are certain people that, were bad for me and not everybody’s menta to help you get to the next level. And not everybody’s meant to go with you to the next level.

Paula Swope: And when you go through, a transformation like I did, you’re going to have, you’re going to have a whole lot of people who hate you.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, yes.

Paula Swope: You got to make it. You have to make a lot of tough decisions. but you just have to, you just have to expect that, really, and then decide, you know, it’s all about making that choice. And do I want to be happy or do I want to be miserable?

Wendy Valentine: Exactly. Yeah.

Paula Swope: And so, hey, misery loves company. So anybody that, just hangs on to misery, then I had to get, I had to get. I had to get them out of my life. I just did.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. People can be allergic to happy people.

Paula Swope: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: Because, I mean, yeah, so you have to, You have to take care of yourself.

The person I had the most difficult time forgiving was myself

And I would say, going back to what you said earlier about the forgiveness, for me, the most difficult person, or, wait, the most challenging. What am I trying to say? The person I had the most difficult time forgiving. There we go. Was me.

Paula Swope: Same.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Yeah. Like, I was p* that I, I, had, like, landed where I was in my life. I’m like, oh, my gosh. But then when I forgave myself, that’s really when the energy shifted.

Paula Swope: Absolutely. And it’s ongoing, you know, it’s, it’s ongoing. It’s like we have to, once we open that door up and we start practicing forgiveness, you know, then we’re just forgiving ourselves all the time. And, But I was the exact same way. And I remember being, I was probably 29 or 30, I would say, when I really started tackling the whole forgiveness thing, it took me years. I don’t know how long it took you, but it took me a long time.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. Yeah, a long time. At least a decade for me, I.

Paula Swope: Was going to say at least a decade.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And even when you do change your thoughts and you change your beliefs, that doesn’t mean you’re not going to get triggered.

Paula Swope: Oh, God. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: But you just, I feel like you just don’t. It’s easy to recover from them.

Paula Swope: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: Because you know what to look for.

Paula Swope: You know what to look for, and you’re not as reactive. And I always say, you know, I might get mad for 24 hours, instead of 24 years.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Yeah.

Paula Swope: I mean, I might be mad for a day, but it’s probably not going to go past that.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I’m the same.

Paula Swope: And I don’t deny my emotions. I mean, I just feel into them and let it out. I mean, I don’t deny that I’m mad. I’m not ashamed that I’m mad, I’m not disappointed that I’m mad. I’m freaking mad. And that’s the way it is. But I know I’m, you know, aware enough that I’m not gonna hang on to that, because I know that it doesn’t do me any good. And so. Yeah, but, you know, the younger Paula, enjoyed being mad. You know, it was like a security blanket. I mean, I thought it made me some kind of a badass, you know, to act like I was, you know, mad all the time when it was.

Wendy Valentine: You better watch out. I’m gonna. Yeah, I know.

Paula Swope: Yeah, that was really a dumbass. I mean, not a badass. And so a badass isn’t, mad all the time, you know, because you can’t really mess with somebody who’s not mad all the time, because it’s impossible to argue with somebody who has no desire to be. Right.

Wendy Valentine: Right, exactly.

Paula Swope: And when you’re a person that you can’t, you know, another person can’t infiltrate your energy space. Whoo. That throws people for a loop.

Wendy Valentine: yeah, most people think, like, if you’re waving the white flag to surrender, like, that’s a sign of weakness, but it’s actually a sign of strength. And you, you know, you get to be, like, the energy snob, a thought snob, and go, you know what? I’m not going to even. That’s. That’s not even worth my time.

Paula Swope: Right?

Wendy Valentine: Not worth it, because you know how. How difficult it can be to hang on to that stuff, and then it’s like, no, no. Like, you really protect your energy more.

Paula Swope: Mm Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And it’s so good. I could talk about this stuff all day, girl.

Paula Swope: Oh, me too. I do, actually.

Wendy Valentine: It’s like, as Austin powers would say, this. This sort of thing is my bag, but, yeah.

Paula Swope: Yeah.

The book will be available in three different formats: ebook, paperback and audiobook

Wendy Valentine: So. So where can we find you, and how do we get the book?

Paula Swope: Okay, so this book right here, and this is the, this is the proof copy. So by the time that my, episode airs, the book will be available in three different formats on Amazon.com. we get everything these days.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Paula Swope: and it’s, it will be available ebook, paperback, and audiobook.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, nice.

Paula Swope: So, yeah. And so, a very famous author, who I’m very honored to call my friend, was my editor for this book, and her name is Alana Nash. Yeah. And I’m, like, the, biggest, Elvis Presley fan in the world. I mean, I’ve got him sitting here on my desk, and she has written a ton of books about Elvis Presley. And, she became my favorite author when I was in my mid twenties. And just through some unbelievable chain of events.

Wendy Valentine: Synchronicity. Yeah.

Paula Swope: Right? Became friends with her, and then she ended up editing this book. And so when she was working on the manuscript, she said, God, Paula, these personal stories, you know, they’re so good. She said, people are going to remember these stories, and I can’t fit them all into the manuscript. And she said, so I have an idea. Why don’t we include those as bonus stories with the audiobook? So when you get the audiobook, the audiobook has six stories that the actual book doesn’t have.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, very cool. I bet you got some good stories.

Paula Swope: Yeah, I can tell. Yeah. And, they are, you know, some of them are funny and some of them are sad. but there’s a lesson to be learned in all of it. And, and the stories were selected strategically to complement the material in the book, the content, the teaching, and all of that. And so, but the book actually launches on August 12. And so by the time this episode airs, the book will be out there. And, I’m all over social media all the time. I’m most active on TikTok and Instagram. And, I have way over a, ah, quarter of a million followers on social media, so I’m on there all the time. And then, I have two websites, paulaswope.com, and then thoughtsnob.com and thoughtsnob.com houses, like, all of the thoughts knob brand. And then polyswap.com is really more about, my, life coaching and my work that I do through the Chopra center.

Wendy Valentine: and you have the podcast, too.

Paula Swope: Yeah, how could I forget about the podcast? yeah, thoughts knob podcast. and it’s, available pretty much everywhere you get your podcast. And it’s just, I created it to leave my listeners in better, shape, before they tuned in. I mean, in each episode, you’re going to take away, I guarantee this, you’re going to take away at least one thing that’s going to help you be better. I mean, it’s just all about being better. And my guests are from all walks of life, but when it boils right down to it, it’s all about healing. And, yeah, we talk about a lot of different healing modalities on my podcast and a lot of storytelling, a lot of entertaining, highly intelligent people, and, very proud of it. The first episode launched on June 4, and so I think, we’re on maybe the 11th episode or something like that, so the episodes every Tuesday morning, so.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, I love it. You’re doing good stuff for the world.

Paula Swope: I’m certainly trying.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, me too. yeah, we’ll do it together. We’ll save the world.

Paula Swope: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you so much, Paula.

Paula Swope: Yeah. Oh, thank you. Oh, my goodness. I’ve loved this. This has been great. I love your hair. Your hair is so cool.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you. Thank you. It’s a little much, but big hair.

Paula Swope: Is where it’s at. I’ve always had big hair.

Wendy Valentine: It’s, like, in Kentucky, you know, it’s like, during the summer, it would just be like, you know, all the humidity.

Paula Swope: Oh, yeah. Mine’s like a cotton ball right now because it’s just so, so humid. And all the rain. I mean, it just rains here all the time.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you, Paula. Everyone, have a great day, and, go get your copy of thought snob. And most importantly, become a thought snob. I will, if you will.