Wendy Valentine: Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover show, where we shake things up and reinvent what it means to thrive in midlife. Today’s guest is here to shine a compassionate light on a topic that’s hitting home for so many women right now. Adhd. Kate Moriuseff is the powerhouse behind the award winning ADHD Women’s well Being podcast. And, she’s on a mission to help women who are newly diagnosed with ADHD find clarity, calm and confidence, not just through tips and tricks, but through a whole life transformation. After being diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 40, Kate realized just how many women were silently struggling and misunderstood. Now, as a lifestyle and wellbeing coach, EFT practitioner, and mom of four, she, she brings wisdom, humor. We always need more of that and healing to women navigating this often overwhelming world. We’re diving into her new book, Holistic Approaches to Managing adhd, the Power of EFT Tapping, and how to finally feel regulated and ready to reach your potential.

Kate is the first person on the show to talk about adhd

Please welcome Kate to the show.

Kate Moryoussef: Thank you.

Wendy Valentine: You’re welcome. Do you like that? You want me to record that for you? That’ll be your, like your alarm clock.

Kate Moryoussef: Send it over. I’ll be using it.

Wendy Valentine: Badass we’re talking about. So I was telling you before we hit record, I’m almost positive I’ll have to search, but I think you are the very first person to have on the show to talk about adhd. And I mean, it’s a hot topic right now. And I’ll be honest with you, I don’t know much about it. And one of the reasons I have so many experts on the show, because believe it or not, you guys, I don’t know everything. It’s nice to have people on the show that can share their knowledge, their wisdom, their expertise so that we can help everyone. So this is what it’s all about.

How did it feel when you first got diagnosed with adhd

So my first question to you is, how did it feel when you first got diagnosed and what was that shift like that aha moment, whether it was even all the way through your past and where you’re at now and in going forward with adhd?

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, I think the aha uh-huh moment is exactly what it was. It was really. It was. It was like an epiphany. And I really don’t want to kind of like dramatize it too much, but it was a moment in my life which I’ll never, ever forget because it explained so much. There was answers to questions which I’d been having all my life. And, that final kind of it was just, it was just an understanding of myself. It was just a recognition of all that I’ve gone through, the challenges, the, the brilliance of my brain, all these different things. And I finally had an understanding and explanation for it. however, with that came a lot more questions and with it came a lot more, challenges because it kind of was opened a bit of a Pandora’s box. However, as, a very curious ADHD person, it then helped me, not only help myself, I realized I was surrounded in my whole family with neurodivergence, my kids, and I also recognized how needed the help and the awareness and the education was amongst, I guess the community I was already serving. And so I was already coaching and I was really helping women who I was describing as overwhelmed, burnt out, exhausted, creative, fun, looking for purpose. all of that. Like, I honestly, I had this like full avatar of a woman because that was the woman who I was and who needed help. And it was, I always say I always helped that version of me sort of like five years ago. And so I realized all my community would were pretty much women who didn’t know they had adhd. So it kind of kick started this obscene ripple effect, that has now, you know, it created the podcast, it created my community, it’s created the book. and yeah, I’m so grateful for it. And I’m learning all the time for myself, I’m learning for my community. But most important really is, is my next generation of my kids who have all had different diagnoses, and being able to understand it through my family, it’s really been like a key. It’s been a key that has opened up so much understanding and self compassion and self acceptance because there was so much of myself that I didn’t accept. And I tried to change and I just couldn’t get my head around. I refused. I was just like, why, why am I like this? And I needed like explanations and finally understanding that I have a neurodivergent brain that can be brilliant and pretty challenging to live with an equal times why I was prone to certain things, but why I could do so many things that other people couldn’t do. And for me it really was, it did unlocked so much.

Wendy Valentine: yeah, what, what is, what does that mean? The neurodivergent? Let’s start there because that is a term that is being kind of used quite frequently now and I don’t know what that means. What does it mean?

Kate Moryoussef: Okay, so we all have brains sometimes. Yes. Yeah, our brains are all different. We’re all unique. Every person is unique. However, what we have been institutionalized as, and conditioned in our societies, in our school, in academia, in generations, in families, communities, religions, whatever you want to look at it, wherever we’ve been raised and told is normal. So we say neurotypical is the way we’ve kind of got done things in this world. Because this neurotypical way has been sort of the way that has been deemed good in versa commas. Right, Inverted commas, all of that. And if we don’t learn that way, we don’t want to live that way, we don’t thrive that way, we, we aren’t energized that way. All of ah, that we’re then deemed like this thing wrong with us. And what we’re trying to understand now is that just because we have different brains doesn’t mean it’s they’re bad. It’s not a deficit, it’s a difference. But because historically we’ve been told if you can’t learn this way, then there’s something wrong with you. If you can’t process the way you’ve been told in school, then you’re the problem. Outdated systems, not the outdated parenting, not the outdated friendship rules and relationship rules. And all of this, it’s all ready to be burned down. Like people are just sick of it. Yeah, especially if you have gone through academia and if you are dyslexic, adhd, autistic, dyspraxic, dyscalculate, all these things and you’ve gone through and your self esteem has taken a massive knocking because you were told by teachers throughout that you need to try harder, be better, do more, work harder, that narratives hit you and hit you and hit you to the point where you just mask, you just push and you try and you conform. And actually the masking is what’s caused so much burnout and reason why so many women in midlife especially are being diagnosed and having this awareness is because with the masking has come all the commitments and obligations and family stresses and hormones and health and this shitstorm that has like just women have just taken on. Like we couldn’t be more overwhelmed if we tried. And then our ADHD kind of scaffolding that has helped. You know, we’ve, we’ve held on, we’ve been white knuckling through life literally and something give and very often it’s our planning, our organization, maybe our brain fart like all of this and all of a sudden our adhd is like full out exposed. And that is why so many women are getting these diagnoses because there’s a combination of the awareness, the topicality. People are talking about it more. and do you happen to.

Wendy Valentine: Know the average age for women when they typically will receive that diagnosis, if at all?

Kate Moryoussef: Well, we do know there’s been a massive increase, like 2000 increase in searches for ADHD diagnoses and assessments. You know, it’s gone through the roof. Something like 780%, increase in assessments. And I go back to the midlife thing because it is the hormones very typically that have been holding us up. So our estrogen is, is a receptor for our dopamine. And when our estrogen plumme and our progesterone plummets. Yeah, having these fluctuations, the progesterone is what is helping us with our anxiety or nervous system, sleep. estrogen is what gives us energy and brain clarity and get up and go and organization and all of that. And when those both plummet where we’ve been like really overcompensating to get through life with ADHD stripped bear. And it’s there and you cannot hide from it.

More and more women are getting ADHD and neurodivergence diagnosis

Now historically we will have had women in our lives who would have been sort of, she’s had a mental breakdown, nervous breakdown. She suffered terribly with depression, anxiety, addiction, all these things. And very often, unfortunately, it was undiagnosed ADHD and diagnosed neurodivergence. You know, we know there’s a crossover with ADHD and autism. We know that, you know, more and more women and people are getting the combined, diagnosis. They may sort of feel more strongly that their autism is more prominent, prominent. But there is ADHD that ah, we’re only at the tip of the iceberg with understanding neurodiversity. We really are. Like, I kind of listen back to this, this podcast in five years time and think what I didn’t, you know, but I listened, that’s myself, three years ago and realize how much we’re learning and how much we know, even over the past two years.

Wendy Valentine: That totally makes sense. I had never thought about that in regards to the hormones. M. Because if you think about it, that was like the fuel, if you will, that was keeping the tank full and keeping us going. And then when that runs out, when that goes, that tank gets empty. Then it’s, it’s looking for the reserves.

Kate Moryoussef: Exactly. Makes sense.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, as we know too, even the hormones are dictate with everything in your body, your, your brain, your, your gut Your like everything. So when you’re losing that, it makes sense that sometimes you would lose yourself.

Kate Moryoussef: Like yeah. And especially we’re seeing in girls around puberty. So if you think about all the big hormonal kind of destination points in our life, we’ve got puberty, we’ve got pregnancy, postnatal parent, perimenopause, post menopause. This is when we notice these fluctuations. We really notice. So if anyone has had a teenage daughter, I’ve got three. And the adhd, the emotional dysregulation, the difficulty in academia, the meltdowns, the sensory processing, so much of it, however it shows that, remember it shows it very differently from everybody else is common denomination all over the place. but that is typically when we do see it come to the forefront around puberty. And again because puberty is getting earlier. So you might even be noticing this in a 10 year old right now. Like you might even be noticing at 9, 10. And a lot of people are saying, you know, they get their, the girls are really struggling either at school, friendship wise. got to remember, rejection, sensitive dysphoria, massive part of ADHD RSD is something that I would say 99 of neurodivergent people relate to and that is this, this, this fear of rejection. But also it’s, it’s real rejection, but it’s perceived rejection, criticism, feedback. It can be pervasive in our life throughout, everywhere. It can be pervasive in friendships, relationships. we hear a lot of family break, family dysfunction, chaos. it trickles out. And this is why ADHD is not just a scratch the surface. Can’t concentrate, can’t focus, lose the keys situation. It runs so deeply and it runs so deeply in, through generational patterns and families that it’s, and I really don’t mean to be dramatic here, it’s life saving because we know that suicide and suicide ideation is much more common unfortunately in neurodivergent people. So we re addiction as well. Addiction is really, really common in different forms however that shows up. So the more we talk about it, the more awareness there is, the less sort of stigma there is and taboo. And it’s just like, okay, great, we know what’s going on. Let’s go and speak to your doctor, let’s go and get an assessment, let’s see what helps out there. let’s get some coaching, let’s get some therapy, let’s listen to some podcasts, read some books and then we’re empowered we’re empowered with information and we’re not just sitting there thinking there’s something wrong with us. There’s nothing wrong with us. We’re living with a brain and a nervous system, especially a dysregulated nervous system.

Wendy Valentine: That will, in this and that today’s modern world doesn’t make it any bit easier.

Kate Moryoussef: Exactly.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, good night. There’s so much stuff going on to like where if, if you know, our phone is not responding in a half, of a second we’re like, oh my God, what’s wrong? Yeah. So is it hereditary?

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, yeah, it’s really, really, really genetic, to the point where it’s pretty impossible to have ADHD unless one of your parents have got it, perhaps, perhaps like an uncle or an aunt, grandparent. But I would say most people I’ve met who’ve been diagnosed later on in life have either got the diagnosis because they were getting a kid diagnosed, or they then can go back through their family tree and go, oh, my dad was an alcoholic. Oh, my dad can hold down a job, or my dad, was really disorganized and disruptive and he went to prison. Or my mum was, suffered terribly from anxiety and depression, or my mum, had terrible OCD and couldn’t hold down friendships. Like, there is always, always a link and pains me so much is that the generation before us didn’t have this knowledge.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly.

Kate Moryoussef: But we can heal, we can heal that. There’s lots of ways that we can do healing. and for me it always comes back to, okay, like, what can we do right now? Like, right, we can’t change the past, but we can change even. I’ve had, you know, women come to me in their 70s going, I’ve only just realized I’ve got ADHD. And I’ve only realized what, why my whole life has been like this. And then I’m able to heal, heal something, like, find some peace. Because that’s all it is, is peace. It’s peace, inner peace for who we are, what we are, all of that. And live a life according to us and thrive. That’s it. Because we can all thrive. But it’s hard to thrive when we are being pigeonholed into something that doesn’t work for us with our energy, with our alignment, with our values, all of that. So yeah, it’s really, what, what are.

Wendy Valentine: Some of the signs or symptoms with adhd?

Kate Moryoussef: So again, it can really show up in lots of different ways. But I, you know, sort of sprinkled Them in through the conversation. Because I like to do that because a lot of people. Oh, oh, oh, okay.

About 25% of people are walking around undiagnosed with ADHD

so, you know, let’s talk about women and girls. so often it’s internalized. So we’ve got the adhd. The H is the hyperactivity. You see the hyperactivity. Often, not all the time, but often with. With boys and men externalized. With women, it’s more internalized, even though they probably want it to be externalized. So you might have someone that is foot tapping and fidgety and, hair twirling and, maybe exercise obsessed or constantly still or feel suffocated. But it’s also going on internally. Lots of overthinking, anxiety, wor. Ruminating, rsd. Like I’m, You know, it’s. Your brain is just constantly on insomnia. So you’ve got that side, the emotional side, and then you’ve got things like what we do know a little bit more about, like, difficulty with academia, you know, processing, concentration, retention, that type of thing, where we. We are often incredibly bright and intelligent. We learners. We’re curious. We want to know more. We deep, deep thinkers. But if you tell us to sit and revise for an exam and remember all of that and then process it and then put it out onto an exam will. We might really struggle.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Kate Moryoussef: So we often are blocked by that and we don’t fulfill our purpose and we feel very frustrated and again, like, stifled by our brains. so we’ve got that. It can also show up in things like overwhelm, burnout, fatigue, chronic pain, migraines, gut issues, women’s sort of health issues such as endometriosis, early perimenopause. A lot of women are getting, unfortunately, unnecessary surgery, like unnecessary hysterectomies. They’ve been medically gaslit, they have been dismissed, they’ve been invalidated, they’ve been misprescribed, misdiagnosed. This is genuinely a lost generation of women. Many, many lost generations of women who have not been served and supported like they should. And it’s time for change. It’s time for women to see what’s going on and to, you know, the. The embarrassment and the shame needs to be dropped because this ADHD kind of profile is. It’s gone now. Like, when I was diagnosed five years ago, I was mortified. Genuine. I was mortified. I didn’t want to talk about it. I couldn’t even bear to, like, admit it. I was. Even with my husband, I was like, I got My diagnosis and that was it. I internalized it all. And then there was this calling in me. There was a calling and I was like right I really need to talk about this. But it was a very, didn’t feel safe. Like I felt like I was going to be mocked. I felt like I was going to be like what you’ve got adhd. That’s what little boys have. Like how have you got that? Look at you, you’re, you’re perfectly normal from the outside. Like I knew I would have to over explain myself but as time’s gone by and we’ve realized this epidemic and we know around statistics again not enough evidence or research but we kind of think it’s about 25% of people are walking around undiagnosed.

Wendy Valentine: And how, how do you get properly diagnosed? What type of doctor do you see?

Kate Moryoussef: So depending on where you are in the world, you here in the UK you’d go to your GP and that’s your general physician and you’d go and hopefully you would have a very understand standing one. You’d m have one that is updated with lots of information and knowledge and thankfully it’s trickling down slowly and they will then refer you to a psychiatrist or a psychologist that’s able to assess and diagnose. Now with ADHD it’s still very outdated the way it’s all gone. And that’s why I started my movement of well being because I couldn’t understand that there was only one way through ADHD and that’s through medication, psychiatric medication, very strong stimulants which can be a life saving for many people. But it also just as equally doesn’t work for many people. In trial and error some work the titration, some can make you feel worse and can make you feel like a zombie, some can, the, the after effects are so bad that you don’t really, it’s not really worth taking them. And so for me it was always about right how can I change? Like look holistically how can we work from a well being perspective so we can make these sustainable lifestyle changes that we can work with with our energy and work with what we are needing and not reliance and that’s very short lived like the medication because this is a long term thing. We, we were born with this and we die with this. And when people turn around go heal your adhd you might be able to lessen some of the symptoms but it will be there. It’s part of your brain makeup, it’s Literally neurobiological. You can’t, you can re rewire your brain for sure, but it is part of your, your brain. And we can learn to regulate our nervous system. We can use lots of calming techniques, we can heal our gut. We can do so many things, essentially so many parts of our adhd. We don’t want to heal because it makes us brilliant. But we.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I was just going to say you almost have to take the approach of. All right, what are the strengths of this? You utilize that and then managing or diminishing the rest of it as much as you possibly can. But like you said, you can’t get rid of it.

Kate Moryoussef: You can’t get rid of it. So I always sort of think about. It’s like we channel, we channel what we can, and then we, we support the challenges. So where we channel like, you’ll see people with ADHD who are probably entrepreneurs. They are creative, they have amazing ideas, they’re multitasking, they’re juggling things. They’re, they’re constantly creating and doing and helping. They’re very big activists. They care a lot. Like a lot of people work, you know, with ADHD and like supporting other people. They genuinely care about humanity. But sometimes there’ll be people pleasers or perfectionists and there’s always like a yin to the yang. We always have to remember that with the over with the working and the overproductivity comes the burnout with all the creativity and all that, that sort of like needing to, to put stuff out there can put a huge amount of pressure on you to keep moving. And it can be really hard to just sit and rest and be in silence and to be and not do like we’ve got a very doing brain and we have to retrain our nervous system which unfortunately for so many people who have been, I guess diagnosed later on in life, they’ve got a very heightened nervous system and they live in stress response. So we have to kind of learn to calm and regulate and know it’s okay. We don’t have to be productive all the time and it’s okay and safe to rest and it’s okay to just be and adopt things like yoga and mindfulness and breath work and meditation, all these things that can actively help us step into more of a, a calmer or more regulated nervous system. So yeah, we have, it’s nice that.

Wendy Valentine: You know, I was just thinking with yoga, meditation, mindfulness, a lot of those practices, you know, they’re finally. We’ve been shining light on those for the last probably, you know, 10, 15 years especially. And it’s nice that we have, because by the time they finally started talking about things like adhd, it’s like, oh, you can utilize these practices and that’s not, you know, so strange anymore.

It used to be such a weird thing like what you’re doing meditation

It used to be such a weird thing like what you’re doing meditation. That’s, you know, like it’s the norm now. It’s not such a, a strange thing anymore. And I love that you’re bringing such light to, a topic like that that is considered to be dark. But it’s not. It’s just, it’s like you said, it’s, it’s like a different type of brain. Right. I mean, that’s, it’s, it’s normal. It’s okay.

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, it is. It’s what. I guess what’s hard about it because I don’t want to invalidate anyone. When you’ve lived not understanding your brain and not understanding why you are and who you are and all of that. That’s why I said at the beginning, it’s kind of like getting this key because you’re unlocking a version of yourself which you had deemed bad or not good enough m. Or not worthy and you are unlucky. Unlocking a different version of yourself where you can lean into more authenticity and self acceptance and self love. Exactly.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Really loving yourself more because it’s. It’s okay. Yeah.

You had two brothers diagnosed with adhd when they were young

Did you go through any type of. After you got your diagnosis, kind of flashbacks of your past of like, oh, that’s why I chose that relationship or that’s why I did that, or that’s why I gave my such a. Myself such a hard time about that situation. Did you have experiences like that kind of going on in your mind? Yeah.

Kate Moryoussef: In your heart for sure. And, and it’s very common as well. A lot of people go through a grieving process. Yeah. They really do. They grieve all that they didn’t know and all that kind of slipped through their fingers and they look back and think, if only I’d got that support at university, or only if only I’d known in that relationship, or if only I’d known in that career choice or I’d asked for more help or I advocated for myself better. there’s so many if onlys and it is. And we have to honor that. There is. We do have to honor that. But we also have to recognize that unfortunately we can’t change, but we can move forwards. But there’s lots of explanation. Like I went through all my school report cards. And, I went through. And I was just like, what the hell? Why did my parents even think. Because I had two brothers diagnosed with adhd.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, wow.

Kate Moryoussef: They, they had the diagnoses when they were kids and they were diagnosed really early on, like in the early days of ADHD back in like the late 80s, early 90s.

Wendy Valentine: That’s unusual.

Kate Moryoussef: So I’m the.

Wendy Valentine: But then they didn’t think, like, well, you know, no one talked about adhd.

Kate Moryoussef: But I, as a girl, I was the quiet one that. I had two very hyperactive brothers in different ways. Disruptive, chaotic, very troublesome at school. And my parents were very, like, focused on those two. And then I was the one in the middle that was just a bit daydreaming and a bit floaty. And I would sort of talk to myself and like, you know, just be quite sort of like a bit of a. Scattered but easy. And everything was internalized. But the, the things that were in my school reports were. Kate’s forgotten to hand a home. We can, if Kate, put. Put more, I don’t know, concentration or focus or effort. Like, all these things she would do better. Kate needs to stop talking in class. all these things. Like Kate’s greater art, but she’s really struggling in maths. So I started painting a bit of a. There was a bit of a picture there. Ah, academically. And I really did struggle academically. I mean, I managed to get through university. Struggled, genuinely struggled. And I remember my brothers, obviously my brothers had ADHD medication. And I remember having this moment where I was like, I wonder if I do have adhd. And, you know, I’m not advocating this at all, but I remember saying, right, I’m going to try their medication. I’m going to see if it makes a difference. And I tried. And I was like, oh, my God, is this what it feels like to have a brain that works? And I remember sitting and doing my dissertation and doing everything, and then that was the end. And I never thought, oh, I didn’t need to sit and do another dissertation. So for me it was like, well, you know, I can kind of deal with life. But I. I still needed a lot of help and. And I got. I got married really young. I got married at 23. And I married an amazing man who I’m still married to today. and he was and still is my scaffolding in lots of ways, really has helped me, helps. He helps with organization. He helps from, a financial perspective. Perspective helps me get my Head around certain business things. And it is, it’s a bit of an eye opener because I feel very grateful that he’s always been there, but also terrified because I kind of think, well, what would happen if that scaffolding wasn’t there? What would my life be like? So. And, many women haven’t had that scaffolding. And that’s when.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I was gonna say it’s like, it’s so important to have that support with your friends, your family.

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, as we all do. Right. No matter who we are, it’s nice to have someone that kind of like the, the yin and the yang, like to help each other out. Right. Yeah.

You write about holistic well being in your new book, Women’s Wellbeing

so the holistic approach, tell us more about that. especially in your book. And how, how do you feel like your approach is different?

Kate Moryoussef: So I think I would definitely say I was one of the pioneers of recognizing about well being, like lifestyle holistic well being. I was talking about it from the beginning. I set up, I started my podcast nearly four years ago. And I’ll never forget I was walking on the beach in Portugal and I remember barefoot and I was doing like some m. Breath work and I was like kind of tuning in and I had this thought. I was like, I need to do a podcast about ADHD and women’s wellbeing because I need this myself. I need to talk about this because what is my alternative? Like, I know I’ve always historically leaned into my own well being. You know, from really early age, from the age of sort of like 20, I’ve recognized if I didn’t sleep enough, hydrate enough, nourish my body, move my body, have time out to decompress, like really nurture myself emotionally, I would spiral. Things would go, you know, like, I wouldn’t be able to handle life the way another 20 year old would handle life. You know, Thankfully, I had those insights from a young age and I realized that if I didn’t do all of this, I think my ADHD and everything the way it presented would be worse. However, I’ve had moments in my life, I’ve got four kids postnatal, huge amounts of anxiety, you know, difficulty, overwhelm, really struggling with all the internalized emotions. And I had to always go back to whatever could help me from a holistic perspective. And then it was, it was that moment where I was like, I was prescribed anti anxiety medication and I kind of thought, this isn’t what I need. I know I need.

Wendy Valentine: It’s just a band aid, basically.

Kate Moryoussef: I need something Much deeper. So that’s why podcast interviewed hundreds of different amazing specialists in the field over the past three and a half years. And that’s why the book has had to be written it genuinely, because it’s a toolkit. it’s a toolkit for women who want daily strategies or daily, practical, sustainable ways of living that they can either regulate their nervous system, find, different ways out of anxiety, understand rs, sd, but also work with, like, fulfillment and, you know, bringing more creativity and joy and simplification to their life as well. So there’s this sort of the sciency bit. There’s this sort of nutritionally kind, of like holistic bits. And then there’s a bit more of the spiritual side because I genuinely believe that we have to blend it all. I’m very spiritual and I know that m. It’s my spirituality that has been my. It has been my foundation throughout all of this. Being able to express that spirituality as well and has really helped me. So, I hope I’ve blended it all together into the book really nicely.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I was listening to some of your reels on Instagram before we started, and I just love your, your passion for it and I love that you’re. You’re sharing the light and it’s making a big difference. And I don’t know about you, but I was thinking about this earlier today, but as you teach, you learn, and as you learn, you teach. And it’s this beautiful. Another holistic approach, right, with, with being a teacher and a learner. And I’m, you know, I’m sure for you too, as even me, like right now, I’m, I’ve learned a ton. Just as we’ve been chatting and thinking about people that I know, thinking about myself, thinking about how this can help so many and. And it helps me to be even more empathetic and understanding towards others. And I think that’s such a beautiful way to, to put your voice out there in the world and to, to teach everything that you know and everything that you’re learning.

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, I do feel that for sure. I’m always learning and then I learn what I teach.

A tool that I use all the time is eft is tapping

something else. A tool that I use all the time is eft is tapping.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, yes.

Kate Moryoussef: That has honestly been life saving for me. And, I’ve taught it to so many people because self regulation, we don’t get. We don’t learn this. No one teaches us at school how to regulate calm and our emotions somatically. And women, are looking for ways to calm themselves in the moment when they are feeling overwhelmed or anxious. So yeah, EFT is something that I love teaching because it’s so simple, but it’s so deep as well. We can use it very quickly, very effectively, efficiently, or we can go quite a lot deeper. And it helps with trauma, helps with ptsd, it helps clear a lot of childhood pain. So you can use it for however, however you need. and I have loads of resources on my website, paid for, but also free resources that people go and they can just tap along with the videos and use it. And I teach it to kids as well. I love teaching it to, to kids because it’s so helpful and calming. I would love to see teachers in classrooms just doing some tapping at the beginning of class. I’d love that. That would be amazing if, for, if.

Tapping solution helps with decision paralysis or self doubt

Wendy Valentine: Anyone out there is listening and they don’t know what EFT is, what is eft? And I love eft. It’s so great for me.

Kate Moryoussef: I need to remember that people don’t always know what it is. I know it’s emotional freedom technique, otherwise known as tapping. So you might hear it kind of interchangeable. And you are literally tapping on meridian points around your face, your hands, your body. And we have these, they’re sort of energy points, acupressure points that have been identified from like thousands of years, you know, in Eastern medicine, you know, with acupuncture or reflexology. And what we’re doing is we’re tapping on these points and it calms our nervous system, it reduces the cortisol in our body, it tells our amygdala, you know, the part in our brain that is like the hyper vigilant, you know, looking out for threat. It says it’s okay, it’s safe to be, you know, rest. And we, we rest our bodies, our body calms down and with that, when our body comes, our nervous system comes, our brain calms and it brings a lot of clarity. It helps calm the noise, it gives us a different, different perspective. it helps with so, so much so it can, you know, if you are struggling to make a decision, I always say, you know, with decision paralysis or self doubt or listening to that inner voice, like we really struggle with adhd. There’s so much noise in our head. To penetrate all that override it can be really hard. I mean, I struggle so much. I was like, does that mean I should do it? Should I not do it? Should I step into this? This is a good opportunity. Like I couldn’t work out how people could just feel it. In their body, their intuition. My brain was just like. So I had to calm my brain to be able to listen to my intuition and to hear that, inner voice. And it takes a bit of time. It doesn’t happen immediately, but there, there are many, many ways. And you can either do it with a practitioner or you can learn some tools doing it yourself. and I find it very empowering, really empowering, because we always know intuitively what’s the right decision, but our ego and our busy mind just kind of gets in the way.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, it’s just quieting that noise just so you can actually hear your. Your soul speaking to you. Yeah, yeah, there’s some great apps. I use the tapping solution. And, that’s been really good. I actually met. I can’t think of the guy’s name right now.

Kate Moryoussef: Brad. not Brad. Oh, his name just gone out my head.

Wendy Valentine: I know, me too. We need to tap on it.

Kate Moryoussef: See.

Wendy Valentine: But I met him like years and years ago when his book first came out, and I was like, tapping solution, what the heck is that? And I was like, interesting. And I started using it and, and started using it on the app and it works amazing. I’ve had times where I’m just like, oh my God, I’m having a panic attack or I’m depressed about something, or my, my brain is just like on overdrive and I’m just trying to get it to calm down or, or trying to get rid of a nasty, limiting belief, you know? But it truly does work. And it’s fascinating that it’s only been, what, 35 plus years that they figured out that you can actually rewire the brain. Like you can create new neural pathways. I mean, it’s like amazing. Like, we really just figured that out.

Kate Moryoussef: You know, it’s crazy that we’re only just realizing this.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I know, right? But it gives you to me, like, when I found that out, I was like, oh, it gave me so much hope in my healing that I can change that as much as I possibly can. Right. And some of those traumas and the triggers and the things like that, that can really kick in even if it doesn’t completely go away. Like we talked about earlier, it’s just being able to calm your body just to have your body not be so like, like, like freaking out at every. Even something that had nothing to do with anything. You know, your mind, your, your brain and your body just immediately reacts because like that fight, flight, freeze type of response. So, yeah, there’s so many cool methods out There. and I just love that you’re bringing those solutions.

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, I. I did feel. I feel like EFT is a really good M match to adhd, and we forget all the acronyms and whatever. Yeah, do. And I remember I was training in EFT before I got my diagnosis, and I was thinking, this is amazing. Like, whatever it’s doing, it’s calming this brain of mine. I’ve never been able to calm before. and then when I got my diagnosis, I did loads of research. I was like, why is no one talking about this? So I was one of the first people to start talking about using, tapping for ADHD and, bringing it and really honing in on certain traits of ADHD that many of us struggle with and niching it down so we can really hone in on those pain points that many of us kind of like, I. I can’t do anything. Like, I’ve not found. You know, people go through decades of therapy and they still can’t get past certain things with adhd. So, yeah, I’m not saying it’s one. You know, it doesn’t fix everything, but it definitely can calm and regulate, and it gives us perspective and gives us a moment to breathe and get out of that very heightened response, that stress response. So, yeah, I love it.

Wendy Valentine: If. If someone goes. Let’s say they decide, like, all right, you know, I’m gonna go check in with my GP and go to the doctor and see if this might be what this is.

The ADHD Women’s well Being Toolkit comes out July 17th

Let’s say they get a diagnosis of adhd, knowing what, you know now what. And I’m sure it’s probably an overwhelming feeling. You know, you get the diagnosis, you go and sit in your car and like, wait a second, I have adhd. Now what, what do you recommend for them? Where do they start? And what are some. Just little bits of advice to. To help them kind of go into. Ease into the process.

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, sorry, that’s my dog that is just crying, being very annoying. So, yeah, I would definitely. There’s that. That is a very common kind of feeling of you have a diagnosis. And then it’s like, now what? And actually, I wrote this book exactly for that reason, because I was. I was the same. I literally was like, well, now what? Oh, God, I’m gonna have to make my own podcast. That’s really hard work. So I was like, well, no one else is doing it, so I’m gonna have to do the podcast. And I was like, damn. Okay, so I’ve created all that content, but I asked the Questions on the podcast that I needed to know. So if anybody ever listens back to the very, very early episodes and I’ve honestly every guest has shone a light and giving me something. Yeah, I’m asking the questions I needed to know because I know I knew that I wasn’t alone in where’s the resources for this? Like why is no one talking about this? And that’s why with the book I say that the book is there to meet you wherever you are. So you could be listening to this right now and be like, like, oh, this is me. Oh my God. Like, like bingo. This is. Pick up the book you will you, you. No one is gonna. It’s not for someone that’s just been diagnosed or someone that understands adhd. This is a book for anyone to meet you where you are so you can understand certain elements of yourself and how to help yourself in the day to day life of ADHD and what you’re struggling with. But there are loads of resources now thankfully there are lots of other types of books. Depends what you’re looking for. if you’re more scientific, there’s all that type podcasts. Thankfully the conversation is, is growing and there’s more understanding but it need, we need a lot more. Like there’s not enough research, we don’t have enough clinical research. And that is what needs to start happening especially around hormones and women’s health and, and adhd. And that’s really what we need right now.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I love it. your book. What’s the title of the book?

Kate Moryoussef: It’s the ADHD Women’s well Being Toolkit.

Wendy Valentine: I love it. So perfect. And it comes out July 17th and today is July 15th. Well at least, well when, when this airs it’ll be July 15th. So we have two days to be able to go and get the book and also get the pre order bonuses too.

Kate Moryoussef: Right? There are. And if you are listening. So in the UK it comes out the July 17th in the States and Canada, I think it comes out a few weeks later. Okay.

Wendy Valentine: Oh good.

Kate Moryoussef: Whatever. Yeah. If you literally wherever you want to buy books from, you put the name in and you’ll be able to get, get the book or you get the pre order. but if you pre order it through my website then I have a really cool PDF that I’ve created that basically so much stuff that I couldn’t put in the book. Loads of lifestyle well being advice supplements to take. basically I was, I was given sort of a very strict word counter because I had ADHD I literally went three times over the word count. So I put, I put some snippets into this PDF. So if you want a bit extra, you can get that when you pre order the book.

M. M. says taking supplements can help with ADHD and other conditions

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah, I wanted to ask you about that too. Supplements. M. So those can actually help then?

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, I, I really believe they can.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Kate Moryoussef: There’s a few. So what’s, what’s growing in the industry is genetic testing is the gene testing and understanding of the different genes. And again we’re very, a very rudimentary place right now, but there are certain genes and expressions of genes with how we’re seeing this sort of, you know, ADHD makeup and then with that we’re understanding this. A lot of us are probably more deficient in magnesium, in B vitamins, iron, all sorts of different things. So I always say, you know, from a very kind of basic level, take some magnesium because that’s calming and it helps with sleep. Take B vitamins to help with fatigue and brain health.

Kate Moryoussef: You know, iron, especially if you feeling like, you know, from a cycular, cyclical perspective, you know, if you struggle with your menstrual cycles, heavy bleeding, fibroids, anything like that, you know, boost, boost what you can. But there are other, lots and lots of other types of supplements that people can take if you do a little bit more research. But I’ve got it in the in the PDF. but I do, I really do think, yeah, I take supplements every single day and they help me a lot and I notice when I don’t take.

Wendy Valentine: Them same, yeah, exactly. And sometimes it’s just even finding the right brand, the right, you know, good quality to make a difference. I’m a strong believer in taking supplements. I do the same. As a matter of fact, there’s one, I started taking it, not maybe it was like about a year or so ago. I thought it’s totally dead. I totally think it’s the reason why I was able to write my book in like 60 days. But I was like.

Kate Moryoussef: Was it?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I was like this is great. But it’s, it’s from Qualia and this isn’t like a plug for them, but I’m plugging them anyways. And I think it’s called if it’s brain boost or brain something amazing. M. You’ll take like four of them right when you get up in the morning and like hello, like talk about. Yeah, yeah, it’s really good. Like that’s the thing, like if you find a good supplement and you know Your body is needing it. Like it will make a difference.

Kate Moryoussef: Right.

Wendy Valentine: And the magnesium too. I was going to suggest that that’s.

Kate Moryoussef: A real, something else as well. Saffron is fantastic. Oh yes.

Wendy Valentine: Interesting. Yeah.

Kate Moryoussef: saffron for anti anxiety. It’s really, really helpful. Oh.

Wendy Valentine: Like even making like a teeth with it or something too.

Kate Moryoussef: But you could, if you buy a good quality saffron supplement. I also take NMN as well. I’ve been taking that recently and that’s really. I think it’s really helped me with my brain functioning. N M N like to those. so that. And also for me, a massive change was going on. HRT was hormone replacement.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. I had to do the same. I actually tried to go without for a while and I was like, my body was like, no, we need that back. Because, Yeah. And that can actually. Right. I would think that sometimes even that would reactivate some of the other symptoms. Right. Like it would just worsen that. So whatever you can do to make it a little bit better, make your body healthier, you know, control what you can.

Kate Moryoussef: Absolutely. For sure. I would say might be going on hrt and I was relatively young at the time. I was 41. now we know there’s evidence to say that it’s better as a prevention. So to get on it earlier that rather than when you are literally at the bottom of the barrel, you know, that was me. Yeah, you get on it early and you you get there before the depletion of the hormones is too, you know, debilitating.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, that’s key, I think with anything. Right. It’s just being proactive about it. M listening to your body.

Kate Moryoussef: Exactly.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Wendy Yousef is the author of ADHD Women’s Wellbeing

This was so good. I’m so grateful that you’re here and that you brought this, you know, education and your wisdom. So very, very grateful. And I’m excited for your book. It’s gonna be, it’s gonna be. Be big, I feel.

Kate Moryoussef: Oh, good. I’ll take that. Well, thank you. And yeah, I, I really do believe that the book is there for, for women to use and to put their bag. I always say it’s like a very portable book. It’s, it’s, it’s small, it’s sort of, you know, pocket, pocket size, but it’s bag sized. because I want it to be something that just is able, they’re able to dip in and dip out, you know.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Kate Moryoussef: Find a chapter that day that works for you. You’d have to read it from start to end and, and, and use it when you need it. It’s like a friend. It’s there to, like, help you through those more challenging days or weeks. and then it’ll empower you. It’ll give you the, it’ll give you the, the, the tools to then go on and hopefully live life more according to your own energy patterns and thrive. That’s essential. We want. We want.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And you’re, you’re living proof that you can.

Kate Moryoussef: Yes. Not every day is a good day.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah, but, well, you are nor. Yeah, you are human, right?

Kate Moryoussef: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I’m definitely doing better than I was. My God. I’m so sorry about my dog.

Wendy Valentine: Your dog likes to talk about this topic.

Kate Moryoussef: She’s normally very quiet and today she’s being very vocal.

Wendy Valentine: You just like listening to Wendy out. so where can we find you?

Kate Moryoussef: So, you can go on my website, which is ADHD womenswellbeing.co.uk and on there you’ll find everything. But if you literally just put in ADHD women’s well being, you’ll come up with the podcast and the book. Take more Yousef. I’m, I’m there and I’ve got lots to, lots to share, so. Yeah, hopefully all the resources will just be easy to find that way.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Thank you so much.

Kate Moryoussef: Thank you, Wendy.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you, everyone. Have a great day.