Andrea Donsky is dedicated to empowering women through menopause

Wendy Valentine: Welcome back to another enlightening episode of the Midlife Makeover show. Today we have a special guest who is revolutionizing the conversation around perimenopause and menopause. This amazing woman is Andrea Donsky, a renowned nutritionist who is dedicated to empowering women through their menopause journey. Andrea hosts the popular podcast Menopause reimagined and frequently appears on television as a menopause expertise across North America. Her latest venture, Morphis, is all about helping women reimagine menopause as a journey of empowerment, providing support through nutrition, lifestyle advice, research, and science backed supplements. Today, Andrea will share her passion and expertise on all things peri and menopause. Get ready for an insightful conversation that will leave you feeling informed and empowered.

Let’s give a warm welcome to Andrea. Hi, Wendy. Isn’t it so nice to hear your bio

Let’s give a warm welcome to Andrea.

Andrea Donsky: Hi, Wendy.

Wendy Valentine: Isn’t it so nice to hear your bio?

Andrea Donsky: You know, as you’re reading, I’m like, oh, wow, cool. It is so nice. Thank you for that, and I appreciate the warm welcome.

Wendy Valentine: Amazing. Andrea. We need more Andreas in the world.

Andrea Donsky: You know, such a, like, Gen X name, right? Like, you know, it is, but it’s nice.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, look at Wendy. Wendy, Wendy. That’s like. But, you know, my name wasn’t created until Peter Pan.

Andrea Donsky: Oh, really? Oh, wow. Yeah. Isn’t that interesting? Trivia. I like it.

Wendy Valentine: So unique. So unique. Uh, so welcome.

I’m so happy we’re talking about menopause because for so long

I was telling you before we hit record that it’s been a while since I’ve had any menopause experts on the show, and I was miss, I was missing menopause for once.

Andrea Donsky: Well, it is a really fun, hot, no pun intended topic, but on bulge, it is, uh, you know what? And I’m so happy we’re talking about it, because for so long, we didn’t. Right. And now it’s like, it’s okay to talk about it. And we’re screaming it from the rooftops, as I say, as Gen Xers. Like, we’re not going into menopause lightly, so we need to create more awareness, really remove that stigma, which is starting, which is great. So I’m happy that we’re having the discussion.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And you’re a trailblazer in this whole menopause arena because you’ve been doing it for, what, ten years, 20 years.

Andrea Donsky: So I’ve been in the health and wellness space for 25 years. It’ll be 25 years next year. So a really, really long time. And I started delving into the menopause space probably about six or seven years ago when I started having symptoms. And I knew nothing about it, which was so amazing to me. And this is what I’m hoping for the next generation is that. And it’s. And because we’re talking about it, they won’t look, I have two girls and I have a boy, and they know everything there is to know about menopause. Like, we don’t, you know, no holds bar. Like, we literally talk about everything in our house. So what’s so nice is when I went into menopause, and me and so many of us of our generation, and my mom’s generation and her mom, her mom’s generation, like, we didn’t talk openly about it. So I was literally, when I. When I started having symptoms, I had no idea what was going on. I’m like, what hot flashes am m I in menopause? Like, isn’t that, like, for old people? Like, I did not understand what was happening to me, and I. I was hard on myself because I came from the health and wellness space, and I always, you know, I was so proud of myself. I’m like, I know so much about my body, and I understand what’s going on, and that’s my, that’s my jam. That’s what I do. I knew nothing. Uh, nothing. I was like, no, I’m completely changing my focus. I changed my career, and I was like, I’m just going to study menopause. And that’s what I’ve been doing for the last six or seven years.

Wendy Valentine: I can totally relate to that because I also shared with you, I own some integrative medicine practices, and I knew quite a bit of, you know, I wasn’t a physician or anything like that. And then here it was. I was going through perimenopause and knew nothing about it. And honestly, okay, I’ll admit it wasn’t until I started the show, and the show’s only been around for a couple of years, that I had never heard of perimenopause before. I’d only heard of same.

Andrea Donsky: Exactly.

Wendy Valentine: Someone came on the show, uh, I think it was Jen Sweeney or somebody, like. And I was like, perimenopause? What the h*** is this? And then once I was reading all of the information about it, I was like, oh, so that’s what I was going through. I thought it was, like, going nuts or something. I might have been.

Andrea Donsky: Well, that’s. Yeah, I always say, like, I have, um, on social media, people are like, women are like, I thought I was going crazy until I found you, until I finally, you know, finally understand what’s happening to my body. And that’s what so many women feel, is that we’re alone, that what’s happening to us, it must only be me, you know? So I think that’s where it’s a very common sentiment. And no, you were not going crazy. Perimenopause is a thing, and I didn’t know about it either until I really started delving deep into this. And I had my first hot flash at 47. But I started now looking back and writing a book. I know you are, too, which I’m excited to read your book. And looking back, I now realize that I started perimenopause at 36, 30, somewhere around, like, my mid thirties, and I started with something called phantom smells. And phantom smells, when you smell things that other people don’t have. And so we’ll talk about my research to what we do. Yeah, like, uh, a lot of time. So phantom smells. So really, what was happening? I was sitting in my office and I was smelling smoke. I was smelling burnt toast, I was smelling gasoline. And I was like, does anyone smoking? Like, what’s going on here? And people are like, no, I don’t smell it. And I was like, whoa. I went to the doctor several times, had several tests, and they’re like, we don’t know what’s going on with you. Like, I went to an ent, they’re like, we don’t know what’s going on. And nobody ever said, oh, this could be a perimenopause or menopause symptom until I started digging into the research and saying, oh, my gosh, that’s what I was probably in peri, my mid thirties, which it can start anytime after the age of 35. So I had. I was in perimenopause now that I know, for 14 years, nine of which I had no idea.

Wendy Valentine: That is crazy.

Andrea Donsky: I think it’s like, eleven years. I had no idea. Something like, it was. Something like, it was a long time that I had no idea that I was in perimenopause.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And I looked on your website, um, and there’s this one section. What symptoms are you experiencing? And I was amazed at how many symptoms are on here. And crazy stuff, like, just things like what you mentioned or clumsiness or double vision or frozen shoulder, hot feet, um.

Andrea Donsky: Itching tongues, burning tongues. There’s a phantom.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. Phantom smells. TMJ, burping, uh, gas and bloating.

Andrea Donsky: Yep. Digestive issues. Yes.

Wendy Valentine: Like, so many things where I’ve even. Till today, till I looked on your website before we started, and I was like, I always thought it was just like your typical ten or so symptoms. And I mean, there’s the basics, right? The hot flashes, the, uh, achy joints. What else is there? Night sweats, um, mood swings. Mood swings?

Only 25% of women go to their doctor once, according to research

Like those?

Andrea Donsky: Yeah. So there’s common, and then there’s the less common. Like, other ones are like impending doom. Uh, bo is a big one. Social anxiety, tinnitus, electric shocks. Like, these are symptoms that not, you know, we don’t necessarily associate with being in perimenopause or menopause. So what’s interesting, and you’re like, well, I didn’t even realize that there’s so many is either did I? And years ago, I was at a party and I was talking to a friend of mine, she was an old friend, and she was telling me, ask what she was doing. She’s like, oh, I’m creating an app for women in menopause. And I’m like, an app? Like, don’t you actually have to have a lot of symptoms? Like she was saying for symptoms. And I’m like, don’t you need to have, like, a lot of symptoms? She’s like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There’s like 35 to 40 symptoms that are recognized. And I was like, oh, that sounds like a lot. I didn’t even realize that. So I went home and I started a Google Doc and I’m like, okay, I’m going to start tracking these symptoms. And this is what led me down the path to really become, um, a researcher for menopause symptomatology. Because I soon, I quickly learned that there was way more than 35 to 40. There’s only 35 to 40 recognize. There are now, according to our research, we have a signs and symptoms survey. We have about ten on our website. And I’m passionate, I know we talked about this before we went live. I’m really passionate about research. And we now know that there’s, ah, 103 plus symptoms of perimenopause and menopause. There is way more than 35 to 40. And like you said, there are so many that are well recognized, but then others that just, we don’t necessarily make that connection.

Wendy Valentine: And think about how many women, myself included, would go to doctors for all sorts of these symptoms and maybe getting prescribed something or there’s nothing wrong with you, or, okay, you just need to exercise more or this or that, and then you’re just like, uh, it’s so confusing about how to even take care of your body.

Andrea Donsky: So we. So, yes, and I’m smiling for those of you who are watching this on YouTube or you see the video. I’m smiling because. Yes, because, um, not to mention the amount of time wasted, the amount of anxiety that we have for all the doctors that we’re going to. Everyone’s saying, there’s nothing wrong with you. The money spent. Yeah, personally, but also, like, government wise. Right. Like, for those of us, like, I come from Canada and a lot of, you know, so different, you know, medical systems, so. And in the US as well. So it’s like, it’s very disheartening the amount of doctors that we need to go to and before the connection is made. So we created a survey called doctors visits. I would encourage all of your listeners to please go and fill out all of our surveys. They take literally under a minute to fill out. And we know, according to our research, that only 25% of women go to their doctor once. Until that connection is made, 75% of women are seeing their doctor between two and five plus times before they make the connection between how they’re feeling and it being a symptom of perimenopause and menopause. 75% of women. And about 17% of those women are five plus times. I have women who have told me and, you know, it’s the most engaged survey that we have. One of the most engaged surveys we have to date. We have right now. I think it’s like 1100 responses. And over 650 women have left comments about their experiences. So I have heard crazy stories from women that have, like, uh, still, they’ve been to ten doctors over a course of like, five years, and they still don’t have the answers they’re looking for. So it’s a very, very serious issue and a problem. And I keep saying within the next three to five years, I hope that we flip that statistic one, uh, hundred, 80 degrees. That’s my goal, and which is why I’m on such a mission to help educate women. Doctors, healthcare workers, partners of women. M the next generation. I mean, everybody, we need to make this a conversation that everybody partakes in, you know?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

When did you discover the solutions for your hot flashes

Wow. So you started doing all the research, discovering the problems, the symptoms. When did you discover the solutions?

Andrea Donsky: M uh, so, great question. Um, so I started doing the research. Took me, uh, I would say, you know, I started doing the research when I was 47, so I’m 54 now. So I started doing the research around 47 when I got my first hot flash. And that’s when I kind of made the connection after having suffered with so many, with a plethora of symptoms before that. And then once I realized that I was in perimenopause or, you know, perimenopause going into menopause, I started searching, uh, for the solution. So I started, when I started searching for those solutions, it was actually for myself first because I had really, really, really bad hot flashes, like, to the point, to the point where I couldn’t function. I had a lot of symptoms, but hot flashes were the most debilitating in the sense that I, you know, would have one every minute and for like 30 seconds each. Like, I literally looked at my husband one day and I said, if I can’t figure out the solution, I don’t know how I’m going to continue living because this is insane. Like, I’m going to have to figure out something. And back then, now people are talking hormones more. Back then, it wasn’t, people weren’t talking about it as much. So I never considered it even as a solution, even if I wanted to. I always say, like, if you want to do hormones, that’s a decision you want to make. I didn’t even realize I could do, like, just wasn’t what it is today. And looking back at the, you know, the studies that were done back into the study that was done back in 2002 anyhow, so I started searching for solutions for me because I just, for my, for my quality of life and for being a mom to three kids, like, I just couldn’t continue that way. It just wasn’t, it wasn’t feasible. And as an entrepreneur, so I started looking for supplement solutions. So I already knew lifestyle and I already knew nutrition because I’m a nutritionist and I, you know, when it comes to food, that was my jam. That’s what I literally have been doing for, you know, at that point it was like 17 years and I had the lifestyle. I mean, of course, it’s not so easy to always manage your stress levels and, you know, the exercise thing, so, but I try my best, you know, doing that because all of that makes a really big difference. Sleep was really important, but my sleep was disrupted because that’s another massive symptom. So I started looking down the supplement route and I started finding things that were helping me and I found a solution that helped with my hot flashes and I was able to get my quality of life back. So I would say that kind of that big answer, um, um. With that, I started looking for solutions really around the time that I started having those crazy hot flashes. So it came, it took about two years to find the solution that got rid of them. Um, um, or that really minimize them. And then once I found that, I started looking for solutions for so many other things.

Wendy Valentine: So that was the same for me. Hot flashes was like, oh, my God, it was awful. And it would just come out of the blue. I’m just like, why am I. And then people are like, why is she sweating? She must be nervous. I’m like, I’m actually not nervous. I don’t know. But then I would become nervous. I would get anxiety because I was having the hot flash. And I did the same thing. I was, like, trying to find supplements and then going to all these different doctors and even some of, oh, we’ll just get a hysterectomy or a partial hysterectomy. And my mom did that. Like, you were saying earlier how a lot of these women didn’t have the solutions that we have now. And a lot of them, the doctors, like, well, just, let’s just rip everything out. You know, it’s like we are saving uteruses today.

Andrea Donsky: And we have so many more solutions now. Uh, yes. I mean, there was the option of HRT, but then again, we had that study. We didn’t have all the new information that we have today. And yes, hysterectomy was another option, like, for women who have, like, really bad bleeding ablations. Like, like, there’s so many different options, but today there are so many more options that women can make decisions for. You know, doing the research themselves, speaking to their, excuse me, to their healthcare providers who actually understand menopause, all of that. Like, we’re in a great place and it’s only going to get better.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

So what are some of the basic supplements that can help

And I’m a huge fan of supplements, like, I shared with you before. So what are some of the, like, the basic supplements that can help?

Andrea Donsky: So I always. So the way I look at supplements is I’m very particular. So I do love supplements as well and always have. And, you know, it’s been something that I’ve researched for many years. And when I started, when I started Morpheus, I wanted to make sure that, and it took me a really long time to decide what ingredients I wanted to use in our supplements because there are so many things out there that you could choose, but not everything is great for women in perimenopause and menopause, and I’m very particular about that. So any supplement that I have as part of the Morpheus lineup is number one. They’re all backed by research, and I know I use them myself, which is a big thing, too. And it’s things, it’s ingredients that I would recommend to people that I love. But also, we don’t have any fillers. We don’t have, like, sorry, we have, we don’t have any, well, fillers that I would never put in my body, for example. Like, I would never put titanium dioxide into it. Like our additives. Right? Like, you know, um, I’m trying to think food coloring is another thing we would never have. Seed oils is something we would never have in our supplement. So nothing that I would never put in my body. Right, right. So for me, that’s a big thing. Uh, additives is a big thing. And when I started finding things that worked, I’m like, okay, so we want to make sure that we have these ingredients that will help women with their symptoms. So I always say that there’s like these foundation supplements that women in perimenopause and menopause should consider because we are depleted in certain things. So for example, magnesium, like, to me, that’s actual foundation. Like, to me, all women in perimenopause and menopause should be taking a magnesium. My favorite is magnesium bisclycinate. I kind of think of it as the hero with the, wearing the red cape of magnesiums. There’s a lot of different types of magnesiums you could take. The nice thing about bisclycinate is that it can help with so many different symptoms that, um, um, you know, that you don’t have to, it’s not for one specific thing. It can help with so many different things. And most of us are depleted in it. So magnesium is great. I love fish oil. So for me, omega three s are amazing. For your hair, skin, nails, your heart, your brain, like a whole bunch of different things I love. But you need a good quality one. The other thing that our mega three is great with because we have the triglyceride form, which is important. It’s also very highly absorbable. It’s for dry skin. So if you have dry skin, dry eyes, dry mouth, like anything like that, dry mouth, it actually is terrific at helping to hydrate. So if you, if you, and there are a lot of women, like, I had something called meibomian gland dysfunction in my eyes, dry eyes. If I don’t take my soil, I will get it. If I take it, my eyes are beautiful. Like perfect.

Wendy Valentine: Interesting.

Andrea Donsky: I don’t have that. Dryness. Yeah, dry skin, all of that. Like it’s, it’s, and again, it’s like, this is where I was like diving into the research, but also using it personally and. Mhm. Then the other thing is fiber. Most of us are not getting the amount of fiber that we need, that 25 to 35 grams of fiber. So we have our fiber s, which is great. And it’s. So, to me, those are like, our foundation supplements, which are part of our starter pack that you can get that women in this phase of life could really benefit from, in my opinion. And then we have other ones that aren’t so, like, generalized, but more like, if you have a specific symptom or if you’re having trouble sleep again, that magnesium is great. We have our sleep us. So we have lots of different options to choose from.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And then on your website, do you help with, like, trying to decide, okay. What supplements to buy?

Andrea Donsky: Yeah. So we have, we have, like, symptom, like, you click on your symptom, and these are the products that we recommend that you have. The nice thing about our supplements and why I kind of, I like to pride ourselves on is our customer service. So you have access to me, you have access to our team. If you have questions, just email us or message us and we will help you. So we want to make sure that you’re getting what you need. I don’t want you to take a thousand things. I want you to take what need and only what you need. Like, so that’s my philosophy, too. Less is more.

Wendy Valentine: And then how do you know when to stop taking those supplements?

Andrea Donsky: Well, I think it depends on what those supplements are. Right. So there’s certain ones they want to take a break on. Certain ones that you don’t have to. Like, uh, a fiber. Like, if it, to me, if it’s working, then. But it depends what it is, right. And it’s always a good idea, like, for anything to take a break, give your body a break of anything. Right. So maybe one day a week, give your body a break, or after a couple of weeks, give your body a break, or a day or two, like, so. Always listening to it. So my, my big thing is listening to your body. If it feels right, great. If it doesn’t, don’t do it.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I like it.

You always want good nutrition. So you can out supplement good nutrition

And what about, um, food in lifestyle changes? Anything else that can help along with the supplements?

Andrea Donsky: Absolutely. Nutrition is number one. So you can out supplement good nutrition. So you always want good nutrition. So as, one of the things I say a lot is we, you know, things that worked for us before may not work for us after we get into perimenopause and menopause. So having that glass of wine before bed might have helped you before now. Well, it might trigger sleep issues, uh, night sweats. Maybe your brain will become a little foggy after. So listen to your body and change things up. Don’t be afraid to change things up. So I would say focus on whole foods, really important. Focus on protein. Focus on good quality fats like avocado, olive, coconut oil, everything in moderation, of course. I would say looking at, um, um, you know, getting your vegetables, your fiber, of course, your fruits and veggies, you want that 25 to 35 grams of fiber a day. Very, very important. If you can’t get it, no worries. Most of us can’t try something like fibrous. Right. It has six and a half grams of fiber per serving. So it get. It helps you. Right. Like, there’s ways to get there, and we’re busy. We all have busy lives. So there are things that you can do to kind of. I kind of like hacking it, right. To help you get what you need. Um, um, looking at, you know, if you can handle legumes more in moderation, your. Your complex carbohydrates, your legal. Your legumes, your nuts and seeds, making sure you’re hydrated, that’s really important. Aim to drink half your weight in ounces. So that’s a good kind of rule of thumb. Hydration plays a role in so many different factors, including the number one symptom that we’re experiencing, which is fatigue. So making sure that you’re hydrated can also help offset that. Again, if that’s one of the reasons that you are fatigued, there’s so many reasons for it, but that could be reasons. So that’s kind of like a good rule of thumb to make sure that you’re getting enough of. And then, obviously, managing your stress is big. So stress can trigger so many menopausal symptoms and our nervous system. So when we go in, we have another survey, which is our anxiety and mood survey. Stress and anxiety survey. And we know that 66% of women in perimenopause and menopause are more stressed now than they were before, and we’re less able to cope with it.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Andrea Donsky: So this is something that, uh, it’s known. And so we need to work a little bit harder to help relax, to relax, to calm our nervous system, to cope with that stress.

Setting boundaries is a really big one for women during perimenopause

So, just doing what works for you, walks in nature, setting boundaries is a really big one, and I’m sure you talked about it on your podcast, right? Like, how do we say no to people? So, I’m very big on empowering women to understand what’s happening to their body as they get into this phase of life to really say, okay, this doesn’t feel right. So I’m going to say no. I’m going to say no to this. It’s not working for me. Whereas before, I mean, listen, I was a huge people pleaser, so I understand firsthand. Yeah. Like, how hard it is, um, to do it, but it really does make a difference to set those boundaries and to. It’ll help you tremendously. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: It helps you emotionally, mentally, and obviously physically.

Andrea Donsky: Mhm. Yeah. Yeah. So it’s really important.

Wendy Valentine: Why the name Morpheus? I love the name, though.

Andrea Donsky: Thank you. We made it up. Um, it’s because it’s a combination of the word metamorphosis. So change and us as a community. Because I’m big on community, because I was so alone. I literally felt like I was on an island all by myself when I was going through this. Because I went through it a little bit earlier than my friends. Either that now I wonder, like, uh, did I go through it earlier or did people just not want to talk about it?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Andrea Donsky: And I think it might be a combination of both, but I remember going through it and being like, I would wake up in the morning and within, like, I don’t know, an hour or so, I’d become this, like, raging person. Um, I’m going to keep my language nice and clean, but, you know, I keep this raging person. I know. I literally became this, like, total b. And I would say to everyone around me, I’m like, is it just like, you know, I wake up happy, but all of you are, like, p** me off. Like, I like my family. Like, I would kind of joke around, but not joke around because I was so irritated. I was, like, angry all the time. I had no patience. But I would ask other people, I’m like, do you feel the same way? And they’re like, no, I, um, don’t know what you’re talking about. And I’m like, okay, so it just must be me. Like, there must be something wrong with me, right? I’m only.

Wendy Valentine: I’m the only be out chair.

Andrea Donsky: I’m the only chair. So I’m like, all right, well, so that’s why, for me, community is so big, and that’s why I have my TikTok page. That’s why I have our community on social. Like, for me, I could not be doing what I’m doing without our incredible community. So we really merged the word morph and us morphous.

Wendy Valentine: I love the name.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And plus, it’s like, you feel like you’re not alone in this, that you’re not going crazy. It’s okay to have these symptoms. And I love the metamorphosis. Uh, I’ve always loved the whole. The stages of the butterfly and.

Andrea Donsky: Mhm.

Wendy Valentine: I was just interviewing someone yesterday, and we were talking about how a butterfly struggles, you know, to get out of the cocoon. And it actually has to struggle to get out of the cocoon. If you were to cut the top of a cocoon off and take the butterfly out, it would actually die. It would be deformed and it would die. So the struggle is there. Yes. I think, like, with perimenopause and menopause, yes. You can’t like the struggle actually like those symptoms, if you will. That’s the sign to pay attention to it. And that doesn’t mean you have to continue to struggle, that eventually you’ll bust through that cocoon, and then you’re free and you can fly. Right.

Andrea Donsky: So 1000%. Which is why I just wanted to have the butterfly analogy in our name. And it’s our logo, too. It’s our. It’s like. It literally represents everything that we do. A little butterfly right there. Everything that we do. So. Yes, and it’s so true. And like I said before, there’s so many options that we don’t have to live with the struggle anymore. There’s so many things that we can do that if you are suffering with any of the 103 plus symptoms, there are solutions. You do not have to struggle, and you do not have to feel alone.

Wendy Valentine: Are you Perry, um, or minnow or a post.

Menno says the word post menopause does a disservice to women

Andrea Donsky: So, great question. So I’m Menno. So I’m in menopause. And actually, what I’m really trying to do, the word do away with the word post menopause, because I feel like it does a big disservice to women, and I’m going to explain why. So in my research, one of the things that when I would speak to women, and I would be like, oh, are you, you know, do you experience this? Or, like, oh, I’m way past menopause. I’m post menopause. I’m like, well, actually, when you’re in menopause, you’re in menopause for the rest of your life. You’re never past menopause. So that’s an important thing. Like, kind of like when you go through puberty, you’re in puberty for the rest of your life. And I feel like when women say that, it’s. They’re kind of dismissing the fact that you have to adapt your life, your nutrition, your lifestyle, changes, everything that you’re doing. Your supplement routine, if you choose to do that, you have to adapt it to being in menopause. So I really feel like it does. So I feel like it’s kind of like pooh poohed in a way. It’s like, oh, I’m way past it. I don’t have to think about that anymore. And I’ll say that to my mom a lot. She’s like, oh, I’m post menopause. I don’t have to think about. No, no, no. You have to think about how you’re eating, mom. You have to think about. You have to think about all that. So I feel like, so just to kind of like, you know, I just feel like it should be perimenopause and menopause. So I’m in menopause.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. And I am, too.

Andrea Donsky: Awesome.

Wendy Valentine: And I love that you said that, though, because, yeah, we’re butterflies. Um, but, no, I totally agree, because I still, even for me, I still, I noticed some changes in my body that I’m like, ooh, maybe I need to eat a little bit of this, or maybe I need to do, uh, more yoga, do more meditation, do more relaxation techniques. Right. So I love that you said that because it’s not like, oh, you know, you get past menopause that one year, and then you’re like, oh, I’m done. Like, no. Um, have to pay attention to your body and what it’s telling you.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah. Like, I feel like it’s a ticket to not really worry, like, to care to do or to continue to really focus on it, because now more than ever, we’re more susceptible to things than we were before. So, um, really focusing on that nutrition, lifestyle, supplements is so key because, you know, women, you know, heart disease, osteoporosis, brain health, like, all of these are major as we go. It becomes big issues for us as we go into, or, uh, as we’re in menopause. Right. And stay in menopause for the rest of our life. And for some women, it can be half their life, a third of their life. Right. We’re living longer now, which is so beautiful. So it’s something that we absolutely have to pay attention to.

Wendy Valentine: Plus, too, if you think about it, in midlife in general, a lot of people are going through changes. Like, the birdies are leaving the nest. They could have some career changes. There’s all sorts of stuff going on. And the better, the healthier that you feel, then you can go through those changes a lot easier.

Andrea Donsky: Absolutely. I love that. Yeah. Mentally, physically, emotionally. Right.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Andrea Donsky: There’s so many, and you look at it in all of those different realms. So, yes, I had. I, uh, 100% agree, and you’re living.

Wendy Valentine: Proof that you can get through it and not just get through it, not just survive, but thrive through it.

Andrea Donsky: Thank you. Um, yeah, you know, it’s just every day, it’s, you know, I really. And I work hard at it. Right. So. And because this is what, like, my vocation. This is what I’m doing. I’m always reading in the reese. I’m always in the research. I’m always listening to n of one, which is myself. I’m always speaking to friends, colleagues, listening to our community, the women on social media. That is what gives me that passion to continue, because if we could, you know, even helping one woman make a difference in their lives, to me, that’s the most important thing. And the education, I just feel. And that’s where my superpower is. Like, my superpower is education. That’s what I’ve been doing for 25 years. So I just took what I was already doing and just brought it to the menopause space. So the education part is good. And also kind of laughing at myself. Like, I do. Like, on, uh, my TikTok, I laugh at myself a lot. Like, I make fun of myself a lot. Not in a self deprecating manner, but more in a kind of, like, I don’t want to take myself too seriously, because there’s a lot of things that we can laugh about. Enjoy what happens when we’re joyful. Joy brings us. So, um. Right. So we want to stay in that joyful place. So I try to educate. You know, I. When I. When I’m educating, I’m doing it on a little bit more of a serious note. But then I have, like, the, you know, the silly videos that I do sometimes or making fun of my hot flashes, like, time doing it. Like, I like to have a good time doing it. And that’s how we learn.

Wendy: I totally understand what our community is going through

Right. When it’s a.

Wendy Valentine: And I think that’s part of it, too, just embracing it. Right.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Uh, like, it doesn’t all have to be so horrible.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah. And there are so many women that are suffering big time. So I get it. You know, listen, I was there for so many years, so I totally understand what our community is going through. And what I, you know, one of. I say. I also say it’s, uh, like, when we’re in the weeds, it is very hard to see the light. Like, to see that. Yeah. That we’re. That we get through it. And I was in those weeds for so long. But once you do get through it and I’m here. And you could speak to this, too, Wendy, is once we do get through it, and. I don’t know. M tell me a little bit about your.

I’d like to know what your symptoms are during menopause

I’d like to know what your symptoms are. I know you said you had paw flashes, but did you find, like, once you got through it, you were kind of, like. You had this new sense of clarity?

Wendy Valentine: Oh, gosh, it was so great. So, at the same time that now I know. Same time I was going through perimenopause, I was also suffering with Lyme disease and black mold toxicity. So that was fun. And I was, like, looking back, I kind of, like, it was confusing because some of the symptoms are similar between those three.

Andrea Donsky: Right?

Wendy Valentine: So. But I felt like the perimenopause or the others were exacerbating each other, you know, like, it was almost like they were attacked. Like, oh, no, I get priority here. And then it was like, here. All of that was going on inside my body, and I didn’t know what, how. And it was awful. Awful, awful, awful. I mean, I can’t even, like, achy joints, fatigue, orama, and, of course, the hot flashes, the night sweats, and my hair, like, started, like, breaking off. It was dry. My skin, like, every. Anything, probably all those symptoms. All. And now that you mentioned what the, um. Whatever that the phantom smells I had, like, I had, like, where I was, like, somebody smelling detergent, like, some weird stuff.

Andrea Donsky: Yes. Detergent is one of them. Yes. So many. Like, yes. Gas, mildew, and bo are the top ones, but there’s, like, you know, I started mildew and bo are the top ones, but, yeah, like, the gasoline, like, detergent some women smell, it was strong.

Wendy Valentine: Like, it would be so strong, like, okay, now I’m so. And then, of course, with all of that, then anxiety, depression, sad, all, ah. Like, dark cloud going over me. And then, of course, doctors trying to put me on, like, you know, antidepressants and all that. And I’m like, I. Like, something’s not right. Like, I knew something was not right, and I had to. I mean, it took years to kind of, like, get through the whole thing. And thankfully, by the time I was getting to the end of it, I was starting to see more of those, you know, help for menopause. And, I mean, I think I probably hit menopause. I’m 51 now, 44 mhm yeah.

Andrea Donsky: So the average age of menopause is 51 and a half in North America. It’s earlier in some places and later in some places, but that’s on the earlier side. So you must have felt a little bit alone because back then it wasn’t as open. Right. People didn’t discuss it.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, yeah. And then that. Crazy. And that was only a few years ago. It wasn’t that long ago, but, uh. And I don’t know if it’s just like, having started this show, thank God. But, you know, I’m learning more and more about it every single day, and it’s like just scrolling on Instagram or TikTok or whatever, it’s like, oh, my gosh, now there’s so much, like, it’s so much.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah, so much. It’s so nice.

Wendy Valentine: I love your approach, though. It’s very simple.

Andrea Donsky: Thank you.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And I feel too like it’s, um. I don’t know, it’s. I don’t know how to describe it, but just more empowering and, uh, hopeful. Hopeful is the word. I wish I had found you years ago.

Andrea Donsky: I wish I had found me too, when I was going through it. But now what’s so great is that there are so many more, um, creators and experts who are speaking about it and coming from different points of view. And I also try to really lead with kindness. You know, for me, that’s a very. And compassion, and I think that’s, like, really important for me is that understanding what women are going through. Like I said, a lot of women are going through really rough times. So if I can provide that support and validation for me, then I’ve done my job and the education, of course.

Wendy Valentine: I know. I have so much compassion, too, for women, especially if, like, if they’re. They’re going, you know, if they’re at the peak of, like, their perimenopause symptoms or menopause, and then they get served with divorce papers or whatever, and then it’s like, oh, my God. Then it’s just. It’s so overwhelming. And then you’re trying to, like, again, kind of going back to what I was saying before, trying to make all these changes in your life, and you just feel like s***. And that’s tough. So then it’s like you can feel better. It makes it easier to go through those, you know, tough changes in life.

Andrea Donsky: Absolutely. Yes, definitely. And having your support system and if you have a partner, being open and communicative with your partner, uh, your kids, with your friends, with your parents, if they’re still around, like, just talking about it and, um, not, not feeling ashamed. Getting rid of the shame. I think that’s a big one, too. Like, I remember I had friends who told me that they were especially women in, you know, this one in particular, she was a woman in the work, in the workforce, she was a CEO, and she was in meetings with her board, and she started, like, she. One of the meetings she passed out in because I don’t forget the reason why. Another one, she had, like, crazy hot flashes. And she said there was so much shame and nobody would address it in the room, and it would be like, kind of like they’re looking away, right? Whereas now, you know, it could be like, oh, I’m having a hot flash. You know, like, whatever. Like, you know, like, let’s, let’s verbalize it, right? Because when we verbalize, it’s not like that, you know, elephant in the room.

Wendy Valentine: It’s like, yeah, it’s like, yep, that’s what it is.

Andrea Donsky: Hey, guys, sorry, I’m having a hot flash. Or, hey, everyone in the room, I’m having a hot flash. Give me a second.

About 13% to 15% of women don’t have any symptoms, experts say

You know, like, then it doesn’t. Then everybody else around you is kind of more relaxed, too, because they’re like, what’s going? They don’t know what’s happening. They’re like, what’s going on? Why is she doing, like, like, to your point, she nervous, like, what’s happening? She okay, you know, so, yeah, my friend passed out on the boardroom floor, like, crazy story. Uh, yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And I feel like it being recognized more that that. And when that happens now, it’s like, yeah, I’m going through menopause, like, yep, I’m having a hot flash or yep, my, my joints are aching or, yes, I’m a little tired today. Like, it’s okay, it’s okay, it’s okay. Mhm.

Andrea Donsky: You know, we, they, the statistics show that I think it’s about 13% to 15% of women don’t have any symptoms. I challenge that. I challenge that statistic because I, uh, do believe, because now we know, and maybe that was based on the 35 to 40 recognized symptoms, but because there are so many that it’s for those who don’t have anything. That’s amazing. But I do believe it’s a much smaller percentage. So a lot of women are going through this. Like, you’re not alone. And we have to stick together because that’s how we’re going to make this change is by talking about it and being open about it and removing that shame, that’s, that’s a big part of it.

We need more research on women’s health, right? Absolutely. There isn’t a ton of research

Wendy Valentine: I was just thinking that, let’s see, the average age, um, for a woman in the United States, they live until they’re 79.1 years. I just looked this up the other day. But then what is the average age that a woman normally goes through? Menopause. Perimenopause.

Andrea Donsky: So it can happen anytime after the age of 35, but most women will go through peri in their forties and fifties.

Wendy Valentine: So, yeah, that’s like. So think about that. Like, between perimenopause and if you, you know, living till the average age, I plan to go over 100, but 79.1 years, let’s say 80 years. So that’s more than 40 years of your life. Perimenopause and menopause and more research is.

Andrea Donsky: Needed, too, which is nice. In the US. I know that there’s research now that’s going to be allocated to, uh, the NIH to do research on women’s health. We need more research in this area. There isn’t a ton of research. There’s a. There is research, but there isn’t, like, compared to some other, you know, areas there isn’t even close to.

Wendy Valentine: It kind of just got, like, brushed off. Like, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, have your babies and then. Yeah. Oh, yeah, that’s gonna happen. Mhm. Menopause, like, whatever.

Andrea Donsky: Well, women’s health, unfortunately, just hasn’t had the attention that it deserves, especially when it comes to research. So that’s changing now, which is great. There’ll be more research that’s going to be available. So the more that it just becomes a thing on a regular basis, then the more that we’ll be able to help women and find solutions and more solutions for it.

Wendy Valentine: It’s interesting how you and I both, how we become our own guinea pigs and then we create what we needed.

Andrea Donsky: Right? Yeah. Uh, that’s why. I mean, because I was already in the health and wellness space for me. I was like, like I said before, I’m like, I need. I should know this. Like, how come I don’t know this, right? So it was part of, like, my mission to be like, okay, I’m going to find those answers because this is my space, this is what I do. Um, but, yeah, being your own advocate, I always say, you know, for me, I call it an n of one, because we’re always trying. I always try things on myself. I’m always looking at myself. Now, of course, end of one is a great way to go do things, but you also want to look at, uh, other things as well, like the medical journal, like, depending what you’re trying to. Trying to do. But yes, you want to advocate for yourself. Look at helping yourself first, and then if it helps you, then share it with others. Like, if you’re actually finding relief by something you’re doing, share it. Tell people, because now there’s not only one solution that works for everybody, but if it’s working for you, maybe they could try that, tweak it. Right. So there’s so many amazing, uh, options to choose from today and do what works for you. Like. Yes, exactly.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Andrea Donsky: Every.

Wendy Valentine: Everybody is different.

Andrea Donsky: Everybody is different. What works for me may not work for you, but the other thing I will say, especially when it comes to supplements, and I want to be very clear about this, is that sometimes it takes supplements a little longer to work because it’s not a drink. So being patient is important, too. Right? Like, you know, for certain things, you might take, you know, two months, three months to work because it needs to build up in your body, as opposed to a medication that’s going to work right away. So if you do go that supplement route, just know that I would say give everything, like, three months. And then if it’s still not working for you, maybe you need to tweak the dosage. Maybe there’s so many nuances when it comes to supplements, which is why it’s become such a passion of mine. Forget, you know, not only on top of the fact that you want proper ingredients, you know, you don’t want those extra additives if you can avoid them, but also the dosage. How much are you taking? Is that dosage backed by research? Is that the dosage that the research said? So if you’re looking to take something to help a specific thing and there’s a star ingredient, well, how much of that star ingredient is it is in there and is it going to work? So there are a lot of nuances around supplements that you really want to pay attention to. So if you have any questions or, you know, you or any of your listeners have questions, uh, questions about it, I’m happy to answer them.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, that was a good point. Supplements definitely, uh, take some time. Not like a crazy amount of time, but you have to be patient, because it’s not like if you’re taking something, something for hot flashes or night sweats and you take it before you go to bed and, you know, in the middle of the night, you have a night like, oh, my God, it’s not working. No. Like, you have to, like, it’s got to build up in your system. It’s food. Right. It’s like, it’s nutrients, and so it does take time.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah. Like, so we have, um, we talked a lot about hot flashes, but we’ll provide a solution. So we have something called pycnogenol on our website, amorphous pycnogenol, which is awesome.

Wendy Valentine: Uh huh.

Andrea Donsky: Love it. It helps with, like, 30 something symptoms, but also, um, I take it with dim, with our amorphous dim. And that helps. We, like my. It’s awesome for hot flashes. So you could do something like that, like, depending what it is that’s bugging you. Sleep. We’ve got amazing magnesium with our sleep us. I formulated sleep us. So it has, like, four incredible ingredients. That’s the other thing, branded ingredients. We don’t use fairy dust, which is, like, kind of just saying it’s in there with a tiny amount. Like, we use, we use the. Right. The efficacious dosages, and that’s the big thing.

Give it time before trying something new. But then if you’ve tried it for, say, three, four months

But, yeah, give it time. But then if you’ve tried it for, like, say, three, four months and it’s not working, then ask the company, like, whatever brand you’re taking. Speak to the company if you can ask them. Maybe there’s a tweak. Maybe there’s something you can add in. Right. So there’s. It’s experimenting with your own n of one.

Pycnogenol is great for tinnitus and melasma

Wendy Valentine: It was nice to see that you had pycnogenal. And I was like, is that how you say it? Pycnogenal? Um, but I started taking that. I mean, I’m not taking it now. I wish I had it, but it’s been kind of probably, like ten years ago, and I had a hard time finding it. But isn’t it. And I could be wrong on this, but isn’t it from, um, tree bark?

Andrea Donsky: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And it helps with. Or it helped me, I can say even, like, with melasma, which is another symptom of, uh, perimenopause, now that I know.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And it would kind of, like, come and go like it, but it’s. But that definitely helped me a lot in magnesium, fish oil. All that stuff is so good, and that helped me tremendously. So, yeah.

Andrea Donsky: Pycnogenol is also great for tinnitus, if you have. Which is another symptom.

Wendy Valentine: Yep.

Andrea Donsky: Ringing in the ears. It’s excellent for tinnitus. So if you do have that, I recommend our morpheus, uh, pycnogenol. It’s great. For that.

Wendy Valentine: What’s interesting is I did have that also, but then that was also a symptom of, I think it was Lyme disease. I don’t know which one it was. And I was like, I don’t know what is up, but. But then I finally decided, I’m like, I’ve got to figure this out. Right? Like, no matter how I go about it, like that, eventually all of those symptoms would. Would go away, and they did, which is nice.

Andrea Donsky: Oh, amazing. Well, I mean, that. You’re a true inspiration. That’s incredible. Uh, I mean, those are three very not easy. Not very easy things to deal with at once, especially black mold, especially lime and perryman, like, so I give you a lot of credit for actually, you know, doing what you did and. Yeah. And getting.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, it was nothing, really. It was.

Andrea Donsky: Yeah, I’m sure it’s very. It’s tough. No, especially from mold. Mold is no joke. And either is.

Wendy Valentine: But, ah, you know, too, I think, is we. We need to remind ourselves as women, we are very strong. Like, we can get through it. You’ll get through it. Uh, it’ll be fine. You’ll be fine. You’ll feel even better, actually. I mean, I remind myself, too, like, as I look back, especially now that I’m writing my book and I have to, like, retell some of my stories. As I look back, I’m like, d***, how did you get through that? But I did it, you know? So it’s like, you’ll get through the perimenopause. You’ll get through the menopause. You’re gonna.

Wendy says she loves being in menopause

Andrea Donsky: You’re.

Wendy Valentine: You’ll be fine. You’ll be great. Even better than fine.

Andrea Donsky: Oh, my gosh. And once you get through it and you’re on the other side, and you’re. You’re still paying attention to your nutrition, your lifestyle, your supplements, uh, like, all of that that you. You can thrive, like. And then that’s the beautiful thing. I really love being in menopause, and I say, I love my fifties. I love. I really feel like I have come into my own. I know what I’m really good at. I know what I’m not good at. Stay in my lane. I, you know, like, I’ve just, like, I’ve kind of come to the point where I’m like, this is me, and I really like who I am, you know? And it took a. You know, it took me a long time to get here, but I’m here, and I think being an inspiration for others who, women who are still in that kind of in those weeds. Like I said, when you do get through that other side, it is pretty awesome. Like, it really is.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, I know. I just. I. I can. I totally agree with you. Someone had asked me yesterday, what. What do I love about being me right now in my life? And I’m like. Because I can actually be me. I am Wendy. I am true Wendy. And it took me a while to figure all that out.

Andrea Donsky: Um.

Wendy Valentine: Um. But, yeah, it feels so good, and I feel good in my skin, and it’s such. Such an amazing feeling. So it was worth, like, trying to bust through that cocoon.

Andrea Donsky: Yes, it was. And you’re gorgeous and you’re smart, and, uh, you know, you. You own it and. Yeah. And it comes across and, you know, in everything that you do. So own those hot flies and your fun. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And if y’all could see my coffee mug now.

Andrea Donsky: I love it.

Wendy Valentine: They can see it on YouTube. It says, f*** off. I’m writing.

Andrea Donsky: I love it.

Wendy Valentine: I’m writing a book to hopefully change the world. Just like you, though, right? To empower, uh, women to make a difference.

Andrea Donsky: If we can leave a legacy, it’s let’s make a difference and help women. And like I said, stronger together. Because when we band together and help other women, it’s just. It’s incredible.

Wendy Valentine: Love it. Where can we find you?

Andrea Donsky: You can find me on my will. My website is we are morphous. Mmorphus.com. you can find me on TikTok. I do live on TikTok at Andrea Donsky. And you can find us on Instagram. Ah. Ermfdejdehe. We’re pretty much on any social at. We are morphous. And, um. Yeah, yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Like, I was sharing with you before, your website is amazing. Awesome. Like, you could hang out on that website just for days.

Andrea Donsky: We have tons of.

Wendy Valentine: So much. Yeah. So much good information. And then your podcast, too. I think I mentioned it in the intro. Um, wait, menopause reimagined.

Andrea Donsky: Yep, exactly. So we have menopause reimagined, and it’s awesome. My podcasts were. I speak to incredible people who can help you navigate through perimenopause and menopause. So, yeah. And you will come on my podcast. We’ll talk about your book. So, yeah, no, it’s great.

I do love it. I learned even more today about menopause

I do love it. So, yeah, thank you. And thank you for having me on this is.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, thank you, Andrea. I’ve learned. I learned even more today. I thought I knew everything about menopause, but no, I don’t.

Andrea Donsky: Thank you.

Wendy Valentine: All right. Thank you everyone have a great day.