Becky Faye Smith writes about positivity and inspiration in new book

Wendy Valentine: Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. Today we have an extraordinary guest whose story is a powerful testament to resilience, hope in the unwavering, belief that life can still be good no matter what. Rebecca Faye Smith. G. Did I say that right? I think it is. She is an author, columnist, and a true warrior of the human spirit. After experiencing unimaginable loss, including the death of her brother and son, navigating her daughter’s autism, divorce, and then facing sudden paralysis, Becky refused to let adversity define her. Instead, she turned her experiences into a lifelong mission to inspire others through her writing and speaking. And now, Becky is bringing us even more inspiration with her new book, Morning Fuel. Daily inspirations to stretch your mind before starting your day. This collection of daily readings is designed to help you fuel up on positivity each morning, offering wisdom, thought provoking reflections, and practical ways to set the right tone for your day. Today we’ll dive into why morning mindset matters, how to live with uncertainty, and how to handle life’s disappointments. With grace. You’ll walk away from this conversation, hopefully feeling empowered and ready to rethink what’s possible. Please welcome Becky to the show.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Thank you so much. That’s quite an introduction. I hope I can live up to the expectations.

Wendy Valentine: you were saying, you’re like, I’ll be looking. Who is this woman she’s talking about? Well, I told you. Even, like we first, got on here before we hit record, I was telling you how impressed I am with you. I mean, I don’t know your whole story, but just even the little bit that I said in the intro, it’s like, it’s amazing. Just those few huge traumatic events that you went through in your life. And then here you are publishing a book about daily inspiration. How did you. Okay, how did you even go from all of that to becoming a public speaker and a writer, and more importantly, writing about positivity and inspiration.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: You know, it’s a crazy life. You know, it’s been a crazy life, but I feel like just doing the next thing has led to something that totally unexpected, but it wasn’t a big leap. Like, didn’t get paralyzed and think, well, I should write a book about this. I think, my first thoughts, were I was going to recover. And I’ve had a lot of these instances with special needs children. Had one with autism, one with epilepsy, and there was a lot of hope about, fully recovering and with transverse, myelitis, this inflammation that paralyzed me 2/3 did have some kind of recovery. So there’s a lot of reality in pursuing that hope. But what really got me started on the writing path was a very simple email when I was paralyzed. It was 1997, the Internet was just coming into play and someone had read about. My father was a columnist too. He, he had written about my strange infection. And at the time we were very hopeful about that. And I heard from a high school friend that said, you know, who, is that you? Was the subject of emailed to me. And so I hadn’t seen him in 15 years and I updated him about my marriage, my special needs children, my divorce, my paralysis. And these became little stories that he passed on to other people because I started then writing about adjustments to the wheelchair. What was it like to parent from the wheelchair, to be out in the community and have obstacles and, and so one of the stories I wrote him was about playing soccer with my then 5 year old son. My kids were 3, 4, 6 and 9. I have 4 kids, 3, 4, 6 and 9. When I was paralyzed. This is 9 days after my divorce. And so anyway, through this connection with this long lost friend, he started sharing my stories and then I started sharing my stories. This is way before social media or read a blog, you know, one email at a time. We would share with other people and somebody said, you know, you ought to try to publish those. And so got a little help from a friend in terms of polishing it up. My first column was published in the Baltimore Sun.

Wendy Valentine: Wow.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Led to more columns. And so that’s the beginning of the writing that happened. And eventually it’s like, why don’t you, you know, write your whole life story? It’s, you know, you’ve got plenty of, of material that’s for sure to keep people interested. So that was the first book Rethinking Possible. And then one of the strategies, one of the most frequent questions I got was how do you stay positive and we know what your, what’s your, what are your secrets kind of with that. And I said, well, I usually read some kind of morning daily, reader. I have five or six that I select. And that gets me going in the right frame of mind. So I thought this second book I would do, I would write what I read, which are little, page a day inspiration.

Wendy Valentine: I love those, I love those type of books.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yeah, it’s like popcorn, right? You don’t have to read a lot, just take a, you know, it doesn’t even have to be the right day. You can just pick a day, any day, and see what the message is that day. So.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Your brother died in a water skiing accident when you were 20

So you had said that when you with the paralysis that was nine days after your divorce.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: Oh my God. And then you had four little kids at the time and two of them, two of them with disabilities.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: You’re like Wonder Woman. It’s like so, I mean, oh my gosh, at any point were you, did you ever. What was me or.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I would get waves of it. and I think that what I had learned. It’s interesting. I was 20 when my 17 year old brother died in a water skiing accident. And I didn’t realize it at the time, but later when I was writing the memoir, I realized I had had a front row seat to seeing my parents deal with an unimaginable loss and how they did that.

Wendy Valentine: Interesting. Yeah, yeah,

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: So. And it was also interesting in that we all handled it differently. And it was still, we were still handling it, but we handled it in our own way. my dad was a very public person and he turned his lessons in grief into lectures and became kind of a resource for others, but could very publicly speak about things that I can’t until I’ve processed for a really long time. My, my mom was in grief support groups. She had. She went to one of those about. For kids, families that have lost children. and my sister, who was 17 months younger than my brother, wanted to be with Forrest, wanted to be with my brother. And so we had to get her specialized counseling to help her move through grief. I on the other hand was in college and so there. They didn’t know Forrest as well. And so I just leaned into that lifestyle, leaped into that, moving forward with them and they were very supportive of me. But we also had classes and things we had to do. Whereas my sister Rachel was in the same environment my brother was. So there was kind of a collective grief there that she had to manage because everybody was missing my brother. But. I learned we all grieve differently.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: And it’s not wrong. As long as you’re moving. It’s not. It’s not wrong.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Moving through it.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes. So, after, after the divorce and then the paralysis, my, as I like to say, my, My husband was no longer my husband. He. But he was still my friend. M. So he was still been very supportive. We’re still very friendly, have holidays together and that kind of thing. But I couldn’t have done it without his, his steadfast Support, too. So I was very fortunate to have such good support going through all issues well.

Wendy Valentine: And just like you said, you know, you. You had this front row seat to, to see what it’s like to really grieve. And it seems like your parents, you know, handled it pretty well, speaking about it and seeking help. Whereas some people do not seek any help and just kind of push. Try their best to push the grief down in a way.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: And I think that’s, the two things about that. The first is I think that you. You do have to be honest about the pain. You have to be honest that this is. Go through all those feelings. It’s not fair. And why me? And, you know, one more thing, you know, but, I also think that it’s really important to be honest about how equipped are you to handle that. And if you’re not, I say get people in the boat with you. Yeah. Stormy weather.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Yeah. Like, it’s. It’s. Yeah, it’s. Yeah. If you’re stranded out there in a little boat in the middle of the ocean with a huge storm and you’re by yourself, it’s a lot different if you have 10 other people in the boat with you.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Absolutely. And, you know, we invite those people that can be helpful. And not everybody is helpful in every storm. It was interesting when, my, father died. My sister and I are very close, but we quickly realized that we couldn’t help each other in our grief because we were in our own grief.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: So you had to invite people that weren’t immediately affected as deeply as we were to help keep us moving. And that was kind of a strange realization. He mean, you can’t rely on your family member.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I have never thought about that. Right. You would think that the people that are close to you, the person. Person that, you know has. That you’ve lost, that those are the ones. But actually, you’re totally right. Like, each person is in their own grief, and you have to kind of pull in people that are not as attached to that grief as your close.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Family members are, because we wound up making each other even more sad. Yeah. Would remember the same things or even a different angle, or there’s something else we missed, and it’s like, wait a minute. We’re going the wrong direction with this.

You’ve also lost your son. What does it mean to live fully in adversity

We’re supposed to become coming out of the pit, not going back down. Yeah, I know.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. But then, And then your son.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: You’ve also lost your son.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: I did. So, Matthew was my second, born, child. And he had presented with seizures at age 3 months. And then he also presented with some, they call it an undiagnosed disease of the central nervous system that was degenerative. And so at age 15, he had a bad case of pneumonia and we, and we lost him again. I had great care for him. I couldn’t provide all of it, especially when I was, I was paralyzed. But we had great support systems for that. And I just made sure that he was well cared for for what I couldn’t do. and I think really that’s what I’ve tried to do in, in each of these circumstances include my, including my own, is figure out how to live fully, in your circumstance.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. What does that mean to you, to live fully?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: I think to find your purpose and keep rethinking what that is depending on your changing circumstance. One of my little, tricks is I think even though whatever the situation that you don’t like or you didn’t invite in your world, I can still. So even though I’m paralyzed, I can still write.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, I like that. Even though blank, I can still. Blank.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes. And I think that puts you into an active mode. The title of my first book was Rethinking Possible. And I didn’t pick, the editor picked. And I was like, you know, isn’t that what living fully is all about, is still rethinking what’s possible?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Whether it be autism or epilepsy or divorce or whatever kind of, adversity you’re going through to still keep that mind rethinking through possibilities and then moving into that.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I mean, and if you’re able to rethink possible, then that you’re obviously still alive and you still have an opportunity to, to, to do something with your life and to just be grateful for life in general.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Absolutely. And gratitude’s huge. You know, that’s another one of those, kind of get you out of a funk situation. Three things you’re grab. You’re grateful for. I try to do that every morning. Whether it’s just a sunrise or my power wheelchair charged overnight, or I slept through and only woke up once instead of twice.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Isn’t that fun? I know, right? I, I kind of find that I don’t know about you. It’s like the older I get, the more that I’m grateful for the simplest of things. Like, oh, oh, I didn’t have to get up twice in the middle of the night. I only got up once. Cool. Simple as things. But it is not that we don’t, I don’t know about you. It’s not like we don’t want more or desire more. It’s just that I don’t know just life. I don’t, not that I don’t expect more. I’m just happier I think with, with how things are too. I’m not demanding so much out of life as I used to.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: I totally get what you’re saying. I agree too. But I do think it’s important to again the honesty about whatever pain it is. And my dad gave me this great imagery that I use all the time. It’s like what do you do with the adversity that you face that you don’t feel is fair? You can’t, you don’t deny that. But where are you going to put it? And I wrote one of my Morning Fuel pieces about, is about the power of put. Where do you put that feeling about losing my child or being paralyzed or being divorced? And my dad had this imagery of your mind kind of as a, as an entity where you, you have shelves in it and you can put whatever that unfair pity party, stimulus is to the side on a shelf. And it’s like, yes, it was not fair that I lost my 17 year old brother. Yes, it wasn’t fair that I was paralyzed. But it’s on a shelf not to deny it, that that pain isn’t real. And yeah, but m. I’m not looking through it. It’s not, it’s not the lens that I’m looking through. Life, it’s managed and this is so much rethinking possible and, and having a full life is managing those things that you didn’t have control over.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. It makes me think of like, it’s like to be in the world but not of the world. Right. To go through these challenges but not to. It’s not all of you.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: It’s.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, it’s a part of you, but it’s not all of you. And I mean I think. Do you ever, do you ever hear from people like, oh my God, how are you so happy? All the time you went through all that. How are you so happy? It doesn’t seem like more people that maybe don’t know you at all and that they just would have no idea that you had been through so many challenges in life and you know, it’s surprising to them if they find out about any of your hardships.

How many of us have gone through life not as planned

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Well, I, I, A lot of times I, when I’m doing some public speaking. My first question to the audience is, how many of you life has not gone as planned? Yeah, everybody raises their hand, right? Nobody’s not responded to that. And I said, I believe that kind of connects us, that most of us have gone through life not as planned with a few things. I just say, you know, mine is more visible than most and I’ve got, I’m sitting in a 385 pound power wheelchair. So they know my life did not go as planned. They don’t know how. But, but I think that those, those invisible losses, all of us have those, yeah, I just have one that’s very visible that, people probably know that something didn’t quite go right somewhere along the way.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah, exactly. I thought it would be cool to read from Morning Fuel, so when this airs, it’ll be April 25th. So I’m going to read this. It is so good. And it kind of ties in nicely with what we’re talking about. And it’s titled Going on. It’s a favorite phrase I like to use when I’m wrapping up a conversation or signing off from a column. And on we go. But after six weeks of isolation during the COVID 19 pandemic, the idea of going on eluded me. Life had lost its punctuation. It felt like one giant run on sentence with no commas, semicolons or colons to segment it in clarifying ways. There wasn’t a period in sight, but there were plenty of, question marks. How long will this go on? Will I get the virus? If I do, can I survive it? When will it be safe to resume the life I knew? How can I possibly know how to go on when I’m not sure exactly where I am? The unanswered questions closed in the uncertainty of not knowing what was sent. What was knowing was next sent me into that place. I fight so hard to avoid the pity pool. After a while, though, I grew frustrated with my meltdown. I know how to get through tough times. My life is riddled with no cause, slash no cure. Experiences one child’s autism, another child’s epilepsy, and my own paralysis. I’m a veteran of, dealing with unexplained adversity. Why couldn’t I use what I learned and get on with life? Because my tears reminded me you can’t deny the pain of loss or skip over its steadfast companion. Grief. Grief. Was that what I was experiencing then? The words of Robert Frost guided me yet again. The best way out is always through. Of course, there are no shortcuts around the valley of pain and loss and its sidekick, grief. I needed to treat this unpunctuated life as what it was, one more journey through grief. When grief had disoriented me in the past, I’d learned to focus on the present and what I needed to do right then to care for myself. Sleep, nutrition, exercise, connection to others. But I also considered what I allowed to take up space in my mind. Although I wanted to be informed, I limited my news consumption while increasing time spent with nature. I sought out messages of patience and hope, and I slowed down my routine so I could sense the slightest progression. After a while, I felt the momentum of forward motion once again and could say with newfound conviction and great relief, and on we go.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Thank you for reading that.

Wendy Valentine: That’s so cool, so perfect. I feel like in times of uncertainty, we don’t know what to do with ourselves, and we, I think we try to fight it or put it into a pretty little box, right? And. And make it something that it’s not. Instead of just facing it, like you said, like, you just face it for what it is. And I’d say, more importantly, control what you can. Just like you said, I need to sleep. I need to pay attention to my nutrition. I need to watch what I’m reading, what I’m absorbing, who I’m connecting with, like. And, you know, serenity prayer was always one of my favorites to get me through my tough times. And God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things that I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. I have to remind myself of that often. I’m like, wendy, what can you control? Do what you can to take care of yourself, right? Because that’s the best that we can do.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Absolutely. The whole accept what you can’t control is. It’s. It’s a worthy goal, but it can be hard. It can be hard sometimes to admit that one of the things that a, therapist gave me, it was a tool that I used time and time again. When my son Matthew presented with seizures and he’d been in the hospital, and I didn’t know whether they said there’s a potential he could grow out of it and. Or potential not. And it was so frustrating to me because I didn’t know what to hope for now. And she told me, she said, becky, you know, why don’t you pursue parallel paths? My parallel path? What do you mean? She goes well on the hopeful path. You can Pursue, what it would be if he grew out of these seizures and he regained a normal life. But on the other path you could think through what would happen if he didn’t. M. It became a really good metaphor for me to kind of divide out my thinking on what happens if I recover from paralysis, what happens if I don’t, what happens if my divorce makes it that I are, we reconcile in our marriage, what happens if we don’t. But it, if you are able to see both options, you’re still able to journey on either one, you know, and then when the reality becomes obvious, then you’re prepared. Mm,

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, that’s exactly the word I was thinking is, being prepared for it.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: And in the meantime, you’ve kept active, you haven’t done the worry thing. It’s like you can put your. Put legs on your worry and, and act in one way. For example, when I thought that I was going to recover from paralysis, I did all the things preparing my body that I could stand. Again with that, that was physical therapy and supplements and all the things that could prepare me to stand. And then on the other, like I needed to think about putting permanent ramps in the house and maybe getting a minivan instead of my station wagon. So my thoughts were moving, but they were moving in tangible ways that could prepare me for either outcome. So I really like that concept of.

Wendy Valentine: I do too. I, I like that too.

Acceptance is about letting go of the life that you had planned

Now, what is your opinion on, you know, the the positive thinkers manifesting? And you only think what it, exactly what it is that you want. So don’t think on the other of the other parallel, what could go wrong? What do you think about that?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: You know, I went through that phase, especially with paralysis. And all I did, I got this big picture board of all the latest pictures I had of me standing. And every time I would go into the bathroom, that was my workout area, had to enlarge a bathroom where I could fit in there and wheelchair. And I had this huge mirror that every day I would do my arm exercises. and then there was my vision board of everything that I had the last time I was standing. So I did that for a really long time. And after 19 months of not getting any kind of return, any kind of return of function, I had decided, you know, somewhere, along the way, I might need to consider what it would be like if plan A didn’t work out. But I had a very strong plan A. But yeah, I get what you’re saying. and I did go through that And I don’t have a quick answer to that other than I guess, you know, when.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly. I mean, I think eventually, right. You have to.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: It’s.

Wendy Valentine: It’s acceptance.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes. Which can be very freeing, you know, once you accept. Like I was in therapy three times a week for standing and I was missing dinner with my kids so that I could go to the dentist, I could go to this therapy. And like once I accepted, okay, I need to be the best mom I can be from the wheelchair. We’re going to have our family dinners again. And I really leaned into that and I. Candlelit dinners like we used to have with my childhood. And I back. This was back when the CD program were big and you could like order 20 CDs for a dollar. And so I put funky music in one night and classical music in and country music another, you know, so it was a way to enrich our family time with music. And I really. But once I let go, I had to let go of this.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, that’s.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: That’s what acceptance does. I think it frees up your mind to, to include more of what is reality.

Wendy Valentine: There’s that quote. God, I can’t think of what it is. It’s basically about letting go of the life that you had planned. In order to have the, the life that’s, you know, right there in front of you. You have to let go of the life that you plan. I can’t think of who it is. but it’s true. Like sometimes we cling to something even though it’s already has. It’s trying to evolve into something else and we fight it no matter if, like, if it’s relationships or career or our bodies or you know, just trying to avoid certain things from happening. And it’s like, no, it’s, it’s happening. Like you have to. It’s acceptance.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes, it’s a very freeing thing. But it can be very tricky to fully embrace it because we want to hold on to hope. And not all hope is healthy. You know, if we hope for something that isn’t realistic, we wind up chewing up a lot of energy. and that hope. And my mother was great. She said, you know, we only have 24 buckets of energy a day.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: And we get to decide how we spend that m. What we’re going to put energy on. And I was like, ah, that’s a different way to look at it. So you kind of budget your energy.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah. I’ve called myself, like last few years like an energy snob. You know, I’m like very picky about who’s taking my energy, where am I placing my energy, what, what am I absorbing, what am I giving away? Right. Like, because.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, kind of going back to like the gratitude and where our life is now and it’s. Yeah. I mean, I think even my energy is shifted. I’m very selective about where I place my energy and is it really worth it? You know, and it’s On things that I’m guilty of this, like, silly things that I might get worked up about. I’m like, do I really put my energy on that? Like, why do you know, I don’t like the way he said this or I don’t like the way she did that. Like, okay, like, do I really want to use that bucket?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: I love that. Energy snob.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Energy snob. Yeah. I know. You got to be a snob.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: It’s a good one to be.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly. A bit little snooty.

Of all the losses, which one did you struggle with the most

What would you say? Not that you can rank these, but what did. Of all the losses, which one did you really struggle with the most?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: You know, I think it has to be the loss of my brother. Just because he was that kid. You know, he was president, student body, he had, was a musician, he was an athlete, he was a leader in church. we were really tight. And at age 20, having that kind of loss was probably the deepest just because it was, it threw us into such a tailspin.

Wendy Valentine: And it was an accident too, right? It was a skiing accident. So it was just shocking. Like, wait, what? Not like it was like a gradual, like, okay, he’d been sick for a long time. It was an accident then.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes. He, he was unconscious for nine days and then that was it. So we had some time of kind of getting. I don’t know if it’s grief or preparation or whatever, but it wasn’t instant. I did get to see him, you know, but he was all the tubes and it was just intense. It was intense. And it was a whole reorientation of a closely knit family of five. To call it a foreign configuration of four had, to adjust to. And it just didn’t make sense. Didn’t make sense. That was the first time I think life had really not made sense to me. And there are a lot of other times since it hasn’t. But that first time I think is, is. Was the hardest.

Wendy Valentine: Were you with him when he passed?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: No, we knew that it would be, it was imminent, so I did Have a chance to. To say my own goodbyes to him. We each did. So I was at, in, in college at the time. So I had come back and. But it would have. It would have been a true miracle for him to survive that kind of head, injury.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, but, yeah, it’s almost like. I feel like with the more that you go through stuff, it’s like building a muscle, you know, it’s like this resilience muscle. And, you know, it’s almost like all of that prepared you more for some of these other losses that you went through. Not that. Not that you can really. I don’t know if you can prepare for any, you know, anymore. But I. I don’t know. I’m speaking for me, when I look back at some of the. The tragic traumatic events I went through, it’s like each time it’s like, not that it gets easier. I think I’m just more prepared. I’m like, okay, this is grief. This is gonna suck. Acceptance, as opposed to like the first time something happened. Right. Like with your brother, the first time something happens. It’s just so shocking to you, physically and mentally and emotionally and spiritually that you’re just like, you don’t know what to do. It’s fight, flight, freeze. but then as more, you know, and we all. I think especially here we are on the Midlife makeover show. We’re at midlife, 40s and 50s, 60s, whatever. And, you know, our parents are going to be passing away or are passing away, have passed away. We have friends. I mean, it’s. There’s divorce, relationship changes, lots of losses, and nothing can really prepare you for it. But. But at the same time, you can know what to Know what to do, as best that you can when it approaches.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: You’Ve been down that path before. And I think that that’s it to remember how you got through the last time. And pretty pretty much there’s some standard things in there you can probably lift and apply in whatever wilderness you’re in. I think it’s all about paths in the wilderness. that doesn’t mean you like them. M. That doesn’t mean they’re exactly the same. But I think our process of dealing with them can be the same if we look at our patterns. And that’s. I think the older I get, the more I see, okay, you’re going to be ticked. You know, you’re going to be angry for this long. You know, give yourself, space to do that.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah. It’s almost like we’re gentler on ourselves. The more you go through it, more compassionate towards ourselves.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Absolutely. And I love. My favorite definition of grace is unmerited kindness. you m. Give yourself that too. You give yourself grace like, you know, you really shouldn’t be, but it’s okay if you are.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: You know.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I mean, I would say that, you know, for me, grief taught me a lot. A lot. The good, the bad, the happy, the sad. And. But it’s like when you come out of it, like the, the bulk of it, it can be very I don’t know what the word is. Just like law. It’s like this like awakening, just like, oh gosh. And it’s. There’s still those remnants, you know, but it can be very just rewarding and feels so good like just to come out of it.

You had your daughter go to therapy for mixed emotions

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yes. And it’s interesting you. You mentioned those m. Emotions because when my daughter Brittany, my oldest, who was without any kind of disabilities, young, she was first kid, when she watched at age 3 her brother have seizures, she developed this, thought that all boy babies had seizures. And so I got her into counseling and the counselor said this is magical thinking. She’s trying to make sense of her world while she doesn’t have seizures, but her brother does. So one of the exercises she gave us to do was at nighttime, ask Brittany, you know, four things. What’s your happy, sad, mixed up, mad thing that you experienced today?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: And so we would go through it so she would. She could talk more about her emotions. And the trickiest one was always mixed up, which had to do with this made me happy, but at the same time it made me sad. And one of those could be the weather. It was raining, so she was angry because, you know, the rain washed out the ball game that she was going to be a pitcher in or. But the same time we needed the rain for. Because we hadn’t had rain in a long time for the flowers to grow. So I think that that mixed up thing gave her perspective. Like, how are you going to look at this situation? Are you going to look at it as a negative or a positive? But we get to choose how we look at situations, which I think helps all of us as we’re going through tough times. You know, it’s okay to look at it negatively, but there’s probably something in there positive that we can see too.

Wendy Valentine: It’s like embracing the, the dichotomy, the duality of life. Right? Yeah. Just accepting it for, you know, the good, the bad. The happy, the sad. And you’re gonna have that. Like, if you. To me, it’s like, you know, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t know light if you didn’t know dark. You wouldn’t know joy if you didn’t know sadness. It’s just the other side of the coin. That’s so smart that you. You had her go to therapy. I. I admire that.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Thank you. Well, I’ve had a lot of therapy myself, and I found. Found that, you know, professionals have a way of guiding you pretty clearly into the ways that you need to do to cope. They’re. This. Their expert is coping with what you’ve got in front of you. So highly recommend that.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I wouldn’t be. I wouldn’t be where I’m at if I. If it hadn’t been for therapy. Good golly. Yeah. Hot mess. well, thank you so much, Becky. You are quite the inspiration.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Well, thank you. It’s a pleasure to be with you. You can see your. You can see your joy in just your countenance. I will say so. Thank you. You are energy plus for me today. How about that?

Wendy Valentine: I gave you a few extra buckets, so you can.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Thank you. I’ll spend them wisely.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. and I look forward to this airing on April 25th. It’s. We’ll even get more.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Yeah. Thank you for that.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you.

Any advice for someone going through a really tough time right now

Any. Any bit of advice for someone if they’re going through a really tough time right now? What is something that they can do for themselves to just. Just to clear that dark cloud just a tiny bit and get some. Get some sunshine in there, you know?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: I think I will. I like to always say, don’t isolate. That’s my. You know, don’t sit with it. Find one. Be honest about it. What are your resources? Invite people in the boat with you and keep moving, even in some way, whether you need to journal it out, whether you need to talk it out. But don’t isolate and keep moving. That’s. That’s my best advice.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Yeah. What is it you said in the. In that book, the title? Is it going on or. And. And what is it? How did you. Oh, and on we go.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: On we go. Just make sure you’re going on. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: I love ellipses. so where can we find you and how do we get your books?

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Well, I’m@beckygallai.com B E C K Y G A L L I dot com. And I’m also. My books. Both of them Rethinking Possible, which is a memoir and morning Fuel. The Daily Reader are available wherever books are sold. You can get, them on Amazon, Barnes and Noble, independent bookstores. so, yeah, I’m m around, and.

Wendy Valentine: I can vouch it’s a good book. I’m like, I’m looking forward to tomorrow. That’s what I love about those Daily Readers. You know, it’s like, oh, see, well, today is March 4th, so March. March 5th, I get to, I get to read something cool again.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: Well, thank you. I appreciate that.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Thank you so much, Becky.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: You’re welcome. So, so great to be here and sharing your energy.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, thank you.

Rebecca Faye Smith Galli: You too.