Jen Mitchell is creating a new high vibrational approach to divorce

Wendy Valentine: Hey, Midlife maven. Welcome back to the Midlife Makeover Show. Today we have an incredible guest. Well, we always have incredible guests. Who are we kidding? Who’s on a mission to transform one of life’s most challenging experiences. D I V O R C E Divorce. Meet Jen Mitchell, a family law attorney with over 17 years of experience who witnessed firsthand the emotional and financial toll that courtroom battles can have on families. Now, through her practice, Solace Divorce Mediation, Jen is creating a new high vibrational approach to divorce. Her method, the Solace Way, combines mindfulness, respect, and personal growth to help couples use divorce as a catalyst.

Jen Mitchell: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: For positive transformation. Let’s dive in. How, huh? We can shift our perspectives on life. Dark times. To find healing and. And growth. Let’s give a warm welcome to Jen Mitchell.

Jen Mitchell talks about divorce and weight loss on Talk Dirty podcast

Jen Mitchell: Hello.

Wendy Valentine: Having me jazz hands for Jen Mitchell, everyone.

Jen Mitchell: I’m so excited to be here. Thank you. Thank you for that.

Wendy Valentine: You know, you know, I was thinking before we started that, divorce and weight loss are my two most top downloaded episodes of almost, what, 250 episodes? Yes. It’s kind of interesting, but they both mean interesting. Desire and transformation and change and carrying a happiness. Yes, exactly.

Jen Mitchell: Some heaviness that does not belong to them.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, just like my hydro flask says. Right. Let that go.

Solace is a holistic health and wellness coaching firm focused on divorce

So tell us a little bit more about, your story and how you went from, like, the typical litigation into the Solace way.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, yes, I would love to. so I graduated law school in 2006, and I just followed the path, you know, the path that they say you follow, just like the programs you graduate and then you start litigating. You work in a firm and you have to work 200 hours a week or whatever it is. and I did that for nine years. I was a litigation attorney, you know, representing one client in the courtroom, acting as their zealous advocate, and looking out for that one person’s best interest as if they were an island of one. And I didn’t really understand the bigger impact of the work that I was doing, you know, in the family law court, just representing that one person until I had children. And So I had three kids in 39 months. Just bam, bam, bam. Yes. And when they came, I still remember I was in my living room or my dining room, and it was 2014, and I had these three little children, one of which was two months old. The eldest was like 40 months old. And I just had this. Overall, I just. I remember I didn’t know what it was because I didn’t understand energy. The way that I do now. But it was mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual, just like this whole awakening all at once. And the only thing that I could hear was, there must be a better way. There must be a better way to go through a divorce than the way that I’m doing it. And I didn’t want it to be my livelihood. I didn’t like all the fighting and drama, and I just didn’t like it. I. I didn’t want my kids to feel that. I didn’t want them to watch me doing that. And so, yeah, 2014 was when Salis was really birthed, just with that message of there has to be a better way. And so I took a coaching course, a holistic health and wellness coaching course, and I loved it. I just learned so much. And during that time, that’s when I started thinking. I’m like, wait a minute. I think I can incorporate some of these principles into the divorce journey. You know? And so it started off real, like, just toes in the water. Just like, here’s some essential oils you can spray on yourself to feel better, you know, just like, real toes. And now, you know, nine years later, it’s just. It’s almost, a decade later. I mean, it’s completely transformed where. And it’s. And of course, it’s aligned just like, you know, you know, being a business owner, the business is, a reflection of your soul. And so as I’ve done my work of really figuring out who I am and what I want and what my life purpose is and really cultivating my light and shining it brighter and doing all of those things, it’s just totally translated into solace. And now it’s at a point where, I mean, it’s amazing. You know, with my clients, we’re talking about soul contracts and, you know, how your spouse was the exact person you needed to learn, all the lessons you needed to learn and. And really following your inner guidance and truth, you know, towards living authentically and how divorce can be. This space, your transformation, I mean, it’s one of the most emotionally difficult experiences in your life. It’s one of the darkest times. And as you know, soul sister from doing this work, too, and living this path, it’s. Those are the times. Those are the.

Wendy Valentine: If you allow it, right? If you give yourself permission, just like going back to that moment that you had where there’s got to be a better way.

Jen Mitchell: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: It was you making that. That tiny little shift in your mindset and making that choice to make this the best thing that could happen to You. And to make this into the woman that you are today. I mean, it’s amazing. Go, ahead.

Jen Mitchell: I was going to say that’s exactly it. Right. And that’s. That’s what we know.

Wendy Valentine: And.

Jen Mitchell: And that I want the whole world to know is that it is a choice. It’s always a choice. And that’s what I coach my clients. Yes, you’re going through divorce. Yes, it’s one of the darkest times of your life, but you have a choice. You know, do you want this to be destructive and just, like, feel so heavy and you’re so angry and resentful and disappointed and holding on all that stuff? or do you want to feel it and then make the choice to let that s*** go? You know, it’ll either.

Wendy Valentine: It’ll either make you or, break you totally.

Jen Mitchell: And it’s the person’s choice. It’s that individual choice. In that. In the courtroom setting, they’re not equipped to provide that choice to people because the courtroom is solely focused on the legal. That’s what they’re there for. But divorce is also this emotional and this growth process. And so if they. Most people don’t even have any idea, that they have a choice, Wendy. You know, they just are so programmed. I’m getting a divorce. I must get an attorney. I must go to court. I must fight. I must spend all my money. I must hate my spouse.

Wendy Valentine: Almost like this. Yeah, almost the same way that you had to go through that whole routine of, like, you go to college, now you do this, now you do that, and the whole. And that’s the same thing for the clients. Most of the time we’re like, okay, do this and do that and do this. And they not to think that there couldn’t be another way.

Jen Mitchell: Totally. And they’re terrified. That’s the other part. The solace way. That’s exactly it. They’re terrified, too, because of the human consciousness, the energy of the human consciousness. So many millions of people going through the court system to get a divorce. They all have the same story.

So people go into divorce and they’re terrified because that’s what they think

And that story is just shared. Just all this toxic energy that’s so heavy and so scary. So people go into divorce and they’re terrified because that’s what they think it’s. It must be. But that’s like. I don’t. I see that as, like, the same as lobotomies, you know, where people are like, did they really drill holes in people’s head to, like, heal them? It’s like the same concept to me. It’s the same like, level of craziness of like, do people really still go to court and they can’t speak because their attorneys are speaking for them? And then they’re letting a random stranger who’s wearing a robe looking that does not know you.

Wendy Valentine: Does not even. Most of them don’t care to know you. They’re just like, give me. Yep.

Jen Mitchell: Cases, they don’t care. They have no time. Like, there’s only a certain amount of hours in a workday and they have to be on the bench a certain amount of those times. And then they have all these cases. It’s like there’s no way they can stay on top of it. But they’re letting that person just make these decisions about their kids. And so that’s really my mission is.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I love your mission, people.

Jen Mitchell: Just empowering people. Just like, be in control of your life. At least try. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, for me, when I, looking back a few years ago, I had also made that decision, I was like, I’m. I’m going to make this the, one of the best things that’s happened to me.

Wendy Valentine: And then I come out on the other side like a butterfly busting through a cocoon. Like, I’m going to make this a great transformational experience for myself and the people around me.

Jen Mitchell: But.

Wendy Valentine: And sometimes it does just take that one person to change the whole vibe of the whole thing.

Jen Mitchell: Totally. If there’s intentionality, if people are going into their divorce with mindfulness. Yeah, they’re being intentional where it’s like they’re seeing it differently than the programs are forcing them to see it. Where they recognize there’s so many different types of relationships and so many forms of love and it doesn’t have to be so boxy. I mean, this is how you live your life. You know what I mean? Like, this is how you live. And it’s so freeing to be, in that space and really be mindful of like, okay, it’s not working in this marriage space. It’s not serving us any longer. So let’s shift into a different relationship space that feels good for everybody.

Wendy Valentine: Right? Exactly.

Jen Mitchell: Without the shame, without the failure, without any negative thought to it. Just more mindfulness and intentionality of this is going to feel better for me, for my partner, for my children, for the world, and just move forward.

Wendy Valentine: A lot of people might be thinking, and I’ve gotten this comment before, like, oh, it’s great for me to have a great attitude about it, but my ex doesn’t, my partner doesn’t. He’s Being difficult. So how do you handle that when the other half is not cooperating totally?

Jen Mitchell: And that happens, Wendy, I’d say, in like, 98% of the journeys and at this point, with solace. I’ve guided over 500 couples through this. And I’m an energy person like you, you know, so I can feel very strongly when one person is like, I’m so ready to get out of this marriage. Like, I want this to happen yesterday. And the other person is like, like, why is this happening? Why doesn’t she love me anymore? Why doesn’t he want to go to therapy or whatever it is. Yep. And that’s where the coaching comes in of really helping my clients embrace that you are on your own journey of self. Like, yes, you’ve been living parallel in this relationship. Absolutely. But you two are two different people, and you are here for your own reasons. You are here to do whatever work you came here to do to make this world a better place and to live in alignment, where you are just living heaven on earth, like, super joyfully and passionately. And so everything that is happening right now is happening for you. So you may not want this divorce right now, but then I have the law. That’s the beauty of divorce is we always have the law, which is real, real clean and clear. And the law says if one person in a marriage wants to get a divorce, the other person doesn’t have a choice. You’re going to get a divorce. The other person just has a choice how difficult they want to make it. And I can go into, like, this space of mediation is this beautiful container where the two of you are really empowered to have these very important conversations. If there’s kids, you know, about your children, about the marital property that you have worked so hard for. And the beauty is in, you know, the majority, the vast majority of states that marital property is fair and equitable. So how amazing. It’s like, well, you two are. The two have lived every day in this marriage. You two get to have these conversations that are not easy. They’re not easy. And there’s all the emotion that goes into it, which is so beautiful because that’s part of it. It’s like, release it. Say it. Speak your truth. Like, authentically speak your truth. Don’t hide it. We’re shattering that, too. Like, oh, I’m only going to tell some of my truth because I don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings. It’s like, right, no, we’re going to tell all of our truth because that’s a gift that we give other people is by sharing our truth. The people who are attracted will be attracted. The people who are not, will not. But that’s part of living the path, you know, in the way. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And like, if you ever felt in, in the marriage that you couldn’t be yourself, this is your opportunity to be yourself.

Jen Mitchell: Oh my God, girl. That’s why I love what you do. Like, seriously, I shared with you before, I obsessed with you now. But that is truly.

The hardest thing I had to do was to divorce a good man

I feel like that is the work that you are doing in this world. I feel like it’s the work that I’m doing in this world is really helping at the foundation. It’s like freeing people from these ways of being that they feel they must do this or be this way, or the marriage must look like this, or they have to be this kind of wife or husband or parent. It’s like, yeah, it has to be anything other than you. You.

Wendy Valentine: Yep. And I’ll have to tell this story. This was years ago, even probably a year before I finally decided to go through with the divorce. And I was doing a heal your life workshop in San Diego. And you know, we had to like break out into little groups or whatever with a partner. And I’ll never forget this lady had said to me, and I don’t remember what, what we had to do with the, you know, the topic or whatever, but she had said she was. The hardest thing I had to do was to divorce a good man.

Wendy Valentine: So. And you know, I, Even for myself, like, good guy, right? Like, but totally, I. It wasn’t meant for me, that marriage was not meant for me anymore.

Jen Mitchell: Anymore.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, exactly. At the time, fine, great. But you, sometimes you do have to divorce a good man or a good woman so that you can go on to be the person that you want to be in your lifetime. I mean, if you’re lucky, you get 100 years. If you’re like really, really lucky. I think on average we live to 70, you know, in the United States. But why waste the time in a relationship that does not serve you, where you cannot be the woman that you want to be, you can’t be the man. And even for the other party, like for the other. For your partner, why they can’t be who they want to be. If you’re not being yourself, then it’s not an authentic relationship.

Jen Mitchell: Exactly.

Wendy Valentine: It’s just.

Jen Mitchell: It’s exactly.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Like we were saying earlier, right? Like, quit wasting time. It’s just.

Jen Mitchell: Quit wasting time. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Like, move on. Go, go, go. Like, let like my hydro flask. Let that go.

Jen Mitchell: Let it. Let it go. And that’s it. I was the same, Wendy. Like, I was married for 11 years to a man who. I still adore him. We’re really good friends, but just in that capacity. And we didn’t fight. We did. It wasn’t abusive. He’s a great guy. He’s an artist musician. He’s so kind. Everybody loves him. You know what I mean? It was. It was none of that, but. But we had. In. I believe we had learned all the lessons we were meant to learn in that space of marriage. And, like, you have three kids, I have three. I feel, you know, I strongly believe that we were meant to have these children together and that the kids chose us to be their parents, and they’re here to do their light work, and they’re extraordinary, and they’re a perfect combo of like. I’m the attorney who does a lot of very intense, you know, experiences to figure out more about this life.

Wendy Valentine: I must say, though, you’re. You are the most enlightened attorney I have ever met in my life.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, my God. I was just upset. I went to a sweat lodge two days ago, and, we were in there. It’s like a Native American. You know, we. We bless the four directions. We were in there for, like, two hours. And at the end, I even shared with my kids. I came home and I was like. At the end, I was like, why do I do so many intense things? Like, why do I do so. But I love it, you know, and I love figuring things out. And then we have, you know, their dad is this artist musician. He’s very calm. He’s very kind, and it’s like, just.

Wendy Valentine: Nice yin and yang, right? Yeah, totally.

Jen Mitchell: And it’s like, well, how amazing that we shared that space together and we grew in the way that we did, and now we’ve shifted. You know, five years ago, we went through our divorce, and I’m continuing to learn from him. It’s just a different space. And now he’s found love again. And feeling that energy of him experiencing that again, you know, and it’s just what you just said. It’s like when people are living in this. These programs and they’re pretending to be a certain way or feeling that they need to be a certain way, it is just a total waste, in my opinion, of this beautiful, magical life experience and really, your own journey of self, you know, if I didn’t share with Aaron that, you know, I wasn’t feeling that this relationship space was Serving anymore. And it’s such a hard thing to do. I’m not minimizing. You know, you did it. You know, it’s not an easy thing to do.

If I wouldn’t have done that, we would have just stagnated

But if I wouldn’t have done that, we would have just continued in this stagnancy. And that’s when people.

Wendy Valentine: You and I would not be having this conversation.

Jen Mitchell: We would not be having this conversation because there is no way that we would be at the spaces that we are. And we’re both. You’re starting your one year in November. I just started. I mean, it’s like. And life is so magical and fun, you know, it’s so magical and fun.

Wendy Valentine: Eleven.

Jen Mitchell: Eleven. Like all. It’s just. It’s so mad. And that’s what I try to coach my clients on too, is like, opening them up to the magic and beauty of this experience of being here, of, the sun shining, of, this amazing earth of fall right now, of the beautiful trees that are showing us how amazing change and transition and death really is. It just goes from one form to another. And it’s the same with divorce. You go from one space to another, and they’re both beautiful. They’re just different. And they don’t. It doesn’t have to be so jarring. It can be very.

Wendy Valentine: It’s.

Jen Mitchell: You’re so right mind and very mindful. And yes, it is dark and it is hard. But like at Solace, they have client handbooks that help them. The emotional handbook with, like, breath work and guided meditations and books they can read. You know, not about divorce, about life, about living a magical life. And the legal handbook. And I have journal prompts to help them, you know, start with acceptance.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: Gratitude and forgiveness and release and all of those things to ultimately get to creation, which is what we are doing. You know, that’s what you and I are doing and many people are doing, but actively creating their life, being an active participant in their life experience and creating the physical reality that they desire.

Wendy Valentine: I always say that, I got a divorce so I can marry myself.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, my God. Yes. Isn’t that so beautiful about it?

Wendy Valentine: I know.

Jen Mitchell: I mean, I. I’ve byproducts.

Wendy Valentine: The first time I truly really liked and loved myself was after my divorce. And I’m. What I’m, turning 52. And I mean, sad, but true. And. But thank God that I live to finally fall in love with myself and to actually like the woman that I am and the woman that I’m becoming. And so I’m so grateful. So grateful for my divorce.

The episode about midlife melanphoria comes out Thursday on Halloween

So it’s interesting, the episode that comes out this, coming up Thursday on Halloween, it’s about midlife melanphoria. Have you ever heard of the word melanomphoria? I know, but it kind of ties. I know you’re gonna love this. It ties in quite nicely with our topic. And you also brought up about seasons, but melan for. Yeah, melancholy and euphoria. So it’s this blend of kind of moving out of one chapter where you might have some sadness, but then you’re moving to this other chapter where you have this euphoria, this excitement, and you’re kind of like in this little in between state. And that’s like divorce.

Jen Mitchell: I mean, divorce can be like cocoon.

Wendy Valentine: Yes, totally. Where it’s like, all right, you know, like, this is tough. It can be stressful. Yes. It can be sad of like what you wish it could have been you, you know, okay, it’s not what it was. That’s fine. But then you’re also kind of like, oh, this is like what’s around the corner. This could be exciting. You’re like, whatever it is. Like, oh, I can travel more, I can date, or I can just hang out and not do anything because I don’t have to consult with anybody, you know, whatever it is.

Jen Mitchell: So it is this.

Wendy Valentine: It is this kind of toggle back and forth between the two and I think allow yourself to toggle between the two. Don’t try to force yourself to be happy. If you feel sad.

Jen Mitchell: It’s like trying to.

Wendy Valentine: For like, if it is a grieving process, like, yes, you have to, you have to get through that. But you’ll get through it just like the seasons. Like, we’ll go through winter and thank God we’re not in Chicago anymore.

Jen Mitchell: Right.

Wendy Valentine: To get through that winter. Oh, but wait, you’re back in. You’re in Colorado.

Jen Mitchell: At least.

Wendy Valentine: Prettier. Yeah, it’s a prettier winter. But it’s all part of life.

Jen Mitchell: It is.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, even, you know, okay, let’s take menopause. That gets talked about a lot on this show. And in midlife in her 40s and 50s and 60s. Yes, yes. There is menopause, there is perimenopause, there is menstrual cycles. It’s part, it’s a. It’s part of life.

Jen Mitchell: All, part of it.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. In moving in and out of relationships is also part of life. It just transforms into something else some. And it can be something more beautiful if you allow that.

Jen Mitchell: Yes, totally. You know what keeps Coming back to me, too. When you’re talking, is your mug. Let that go.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: I feel like that is. That is the. That is the shift. You know what I mean? And you have to be in that space.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: Of, feeling exactly what you said. I mean, I call them shatterings of self. Of like.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: When you realize your marriage isn’t what you thought it was going to be. And then even a bigger shattering is when you realize that your spouse isn’t the way that you have.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Jen Mitchell: That they were. Because your belief systems, have filtered all of the conversations and happenings through your beliefs. And then you have created this reality that you firmly believe is true. And then all of a sudden it’s like the shattering. And so all of it. I mean, it’s such a. It’s such a difficult space to navigate because it’s like. It’s almost like it’s just shattered. It breaks apart. And I think it’s the ego. I think that’s the shattering. It’s shattering the ego. It’s shattering the safe space of consciousness, of, I’m going to put everything in these little boxes and I understand what everything is. And when we can release that and move into that new space and recognize that by letting things go, we are opening up space for the new. And to get excited about that, like, what you just shared is so beautiful. And of course, a share that you would share because that’s how you live your life, you know, and that’s how I live my life. And it’s so fun to live in that space of, like, not knowing what’s coming and not trying to figure everything out, but in instead focusing mindfully on my energy, how I am doing, what I need to feel good, what I can create in this beautiful world to make it a brighter, happier space for everyone that’s more loving and just joyful and connected. You know what I mean? It’s like. It’s not knowing is. Is the fun. I think exactly. Will provide all of the people and experience is we’re just meant to, you know, experience them and. And hopefully have joy of some, some form. And if it’s not joyful, then have gratitude in the experience because it’s changed us.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. It’s like, Steve Jobs once said, you can’t connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect the dots looking backwards. So once you go through that divorce and you look back, you’re like, oh, now I see why that happened and that happened and to be grateful for it.

You do rise above the mud of divorce without the mud. Right. You need to put yourself first

Right. Like, just like we talked about this before, before we hit record. But the painting behind you are of lotuses, which I love and I wrote about them in my book. But the lotus sits in the mud at night.

Wendy Valentine: And. And the thing is, the mud is actually nourishment. So the mud is feeding that pretty little flower. At night, it’s sleeping. And then it. Right, the, the sun rises, and then the lotus rises, reaches for the sunlight. And then what’s so cool is they call this the lotus effect. Is that when the, the lotus rises above the water, there’s not any droplets of mud on its petals. Oh, wow. Yeah, they call that the lotus effect. And then when the sun goes down, the lotus goes back down into the mud. So it’s kind of like learning to love the mud of divorce, of midlife, of menopause, of whatever. Right. It’s. It’s part of it. And it. And allowing that just like the mud to feed you, let it feed you as you’re going through it. Like, and you may not. I don’t know. I’ve always been kind of like a, My soul. Well, maybe my soul learns quicker than I do, but I always learn a little late. Like, it always takes me about a year or so. And then I’m like, oh, right, right, right, right, right. That’s why I get it now. I get it. But now that I know that about me, when something’s happening in my life, present day, I don’t try to pick it apart. Like I used to, the perfectionist in me to be like, I’ve got to figure this out right now. Now I’m just like, you know what? I’ll figure it out. I know I will. I don’t see the meaning or the purpose or the la. I don’t. I haven’t gotten the lesson out of it yet. But, I know that I will. Right?

Jen Mitchell: Totally.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. But I think the key is too, is that we. You do rise above the mud of divorce without the mud. Like, without carrying all the mud on your petals.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Like, it doesn’t have to beat it.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: It’s part of you, but it is not you. Like, you can shine and be beautiful no matter what happens.

Jen Mitchell: Yes. And I, and I believe that divorce happens exactly as it should, exactly when it should in each person’s life. And it’s just a mirror of all of the things that they’re meant to learn from it. So. Absolutely. The, the muck, you know, is, is a dark space. It’s a lonely space of divorce, you know, And, And I Think anything. I really think it’s any difficult time. That muck is, is really difficult. But it is in that mock this. And I love that you just shared about the lotus, because I feel like nature is, m. I mean this beautiful mother Gaia, this earth is just such an amazing teacher and healer. And I love those parallels, you know, like the fall trees and the lotus, like that’s an amazing parallel for us just to, to, to replicate, you know, in our lives and just understanding, yes, we’re going to be in the muck, but we don’t have to stay there. You know, we can, we can be there and we can temporary and use it as fuel. Like that’s the foundation of solace, is self care and self love. Because that’s another program I want to shatter, is the program of being selfish. You know, if you’re like, oh, I can’t put myself first, I’m not a good mom or a good dad or it’s like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? You need to put yourself first. There’s a reason every airplane ride says put the mask on yourself. You need to do that. You cannot serve without doing that. You know, and that’s that space, that dark muck of the lotus. That’s the space of, that self care and self love where people can give themselves all of the things they need, all of those nutrients, all of that beautiful seeds of growth. So when they come back into the light, they have all of that as fuel for them to really create their own. And that’s the beauty of divorce too is you get to totally reinvent yourself. If you so choose.

Wendy Valentine: I know you can do whatever the heck you want. It is so cool.

Jen Mitchell: You want. Yes.

Wendy Valentine: Especially at midlife too, right? Because then it’s like you really there. I feel there’s more doors that open during this phase, during this wonderful season of life. It’s funny you took the words out of my mouth earlier because you said on your website it says, what if your divorce is unfolding exactly as it should, exactly when it should, to awaken you to the worth and empower you. To awaken you to your worth and empower you.

Jen Mitchell: Yes, totally. Right? That’s what it is. I mean, you shared earlier self love. That is one of the biggest byproducts of yours. Boundaries. Having different boundaries in your life. Like there is.

Have you seen the Ali Wong comedy special about divorce? No, I haven’t watched

Have you seen the Ali Wong comedy special?

Wendy Valentine: No, I haven’t watched.

Jen Mitchell: My gosh, I cannot. I feel like Ali Wong and I are going to be like such good friends. That special is amazing for any of your listeners. I mean, it definitely is targeted towards women in their 40s, and she went through a divorce, and she’s talking about all the things that we’re talking about. And what I love about it, I’ve seen it three times now, in the past, like, two weeks. And I don’t watch a lot.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, I gotta watch it.

Jen Mitchell: I do not watch a lot of television at all. Like, maybe once a month. But it is so good that I can’t stop watching it. Because what I love about what Ali is doing is she’s talking about divorce, and she’s talking about the. The mock. The hard stuff. But then, she’s sharing how much fun she’s having as being a divorced person and how amazing that space is. And that’s. That is truly.

Wendy Valentine: It’s that melon for. Yeah, right, exactly.

Jen Mitchell: It’s like, I just. My intention for this time together is really. I just hope that this resonates with. With listeners that are feeling stagnant, you know, and sharing the two of us and Ellie and there’s so many other. Other people have gone through divorce that are really enjoying their life, you know. And yes, it’s hard, but it doesn’t need to be stretched out, you know, and that’s part of. When I was a litigation attorney, it would take, like, two years to get a divorce. I’m like, why is it taking so long? Yeah. And then with mediation, you know, it takes like three to six months, which isn’t bad in comparison to two years. And it’s this loving, respectful container. But I shared with you earlier, I. I went to a ceremony weekend, and. And following that, I’ve been given this message. Well, one of the biggest messages was serve, serve first. Which, yes, you absolutely do, you know, And I do. We serve. But then I was told to serve more.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Jen Mitchell: And so then I started thinking. I was talking to a friend. She has a boyfriend. He’s going through a litigation divorce. For, like, two and a half years. Nothing has happened. And I’m just like, it’s so gross. It’s just so gross. The amount of money they’ve spent, how stressful it is. The dude, I’m always worried that he’s going to have, like, a heart attack or something because he has so much stress that it’s going to physically manifest in some way, shape or form.

Wendy Valentine: I know.

Jen Mitchell: And then I started thinking about Solace. I’m like, okay, well, he’s been there two and a half years. That’s gross. Solace. Is three to six months. But I’m just working with, like, two people, like one couple for two and a half hours at a time. And then I was. Yeah, I was given this message that we’re going to do divorce mediation retreats that are going to be very focused on mindfulness. We’re going to have sambo healing. We’re going to have intention setting. We’re going to bring the. Invite the kids to come. Day one and four. One is going to be shattering the programs. Two will be focused on parenting agreements, no kids there. Three will be focused on marital property division, support, calculations, contribution toward kids, extra expenses. And we have a financial expert on board who’s going to meet with the people before they come to the container. And then day four is going to be a celebration. We’re going to do a, karmic cord cutting ceremony. And I have two therapists that are part of. I have a whole tribe that we’re all going to be doing this and. And we’re all medicine women as well, you know, in the sense of, you know, breath work and meditation and going out in nature and connecting. And so I’m really.

Wendy Valentine: What a great way, though, right, to. To close out a chapter and to open up a new chapter in life.

Jen Mitchell: And four days, I mean, that’s the other part of it. It’s like I’m being very strongly just guided to help people shift faster. It’s like we don’t need to like what you and I were talking about before, and even on the show, we don’t need to waste any time. Everybody, like, there is so much life to live and there’s so much going on in the consciousness that the more people who are living in alignment with their light and their truth, the more things are going to shift into a space that really is better for all humans. That’s. That’s more mindful.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And just shifting that focus. Right. I mean, it’s. It’s. It’s not all about money. It seems like that’s the biggest thing through divorce is it’s the money. It’s all about the money.

Jen Mitchell: Well, and that is so interesting too, right, because m. You know, when I coach my clients, the majority of my clients have children, so we start with the kids, you know, and that’s a beautiful space to start because all parents everywhere love their kids. And so it’s. It’s a nice. It’s a nice space to. To meet, you know, and connect on. okay, what is in the best interest of your kids that, you know better than anyone else. But then when we shift to money, I always coach.

Wendy: You have to start coaching yourself. That’s what the exact of this. So you have. Become your own best friend

It’s a totally different energy. And of course it is because the two people grew up in different households with different, narratives and beliefs when it comes to money and security and property and stuff and fair and equitable. So you have. And those are, you know, created in childhood. So of course it’s a totally different energy. But there’s a lot of fear, you know, and if, if we can share about like okay, mindset of scarcity versus mindset of abundance and then the whole scale, you know, and as long as we can coach and share like you are both going to be okay. That’s what the exact of this.

Wendy Valentine: And even better than okay, not just surviving, but thriving. And you know, for me, like, I had to, I had to make that shift, the financial piece of it, I mean at the time, I mean I had always worked, ran the businesses, so I was involved with all of that. But then with the divorce, it was like, okay, now I’m starting over. I was unemployed. I had 150 grand in debt. I mean I could have, I could have sat there and boohooed all I wanted to, but it wasn’t going to change anything. I had to get my a** a job and I had to get climb out of debt, you know, like it. But then it was talk about melan for you. Right? Like I, it was something exciting to me though. I was like, you know what? I can do this.

Jen Mitchell: Totally.

Wendy Valentine: And it was just like, it was a new challenge. And because it was something that I could go after, that I could do, that in itself was just so empowering to me.

Jen Mitchell: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: And that. Yeah. So it was like I, I could, I could point the finger all I wanted to. Like, I’ve been doing this for 20 years and here I am, I’m unemployed, I got all this debt or I can go, you know what, let’s go. Time.

Jen Mitchell: Yes. I’m gonna create my life. Yeah. I’m going to exactly myself and take steps to get there. You know what I mean?

Wendy Valentine: And I was gonna say too like that, I talk about temporary, right? You’re, you might have this temporary phase of having to work your a** off or trying to, you know, living with a friend or. Heck, I had to live in the basement for years.

Jen Mitchell: I rented an apartment and third floor with yes. Two bedrooms, you know.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. And the whole time you have to tell yourself, this is just temporary. We’re gonna get through this. You have to start coaching yourself. Become your own best friend. And Tell yourself you will get through it, you will get to the other side of it, and you’re going to be a better person because of it.

Jen Mitchell: Yes. And in addition, if you can add, you know, the belief of I am being guided. I’m never alone. I always have my angels, masters, guides, ancestors showing me the way I meant to take as long. And that’s, I think, at the heart of it, Wendy, like, everything that you’re saying. And I think at the heart of it, if it feels good, like moving into that space or in a basement, you know, it might not be exactly where you want to be, but if it feels good to you, that is your path. You know, if it feels like all this resistance, you have to question, is it ego? You know, is it my ego that’s saying, oh, I shouldn’t be living in a basement? You know what I mean? What is it? If it’s ego, then just let it go. Like, let that go like your mom, you know? But, you know, if it’s a genuine. Just following your inner guidance that is always directing you. If it feels good, do that. If it doesn’t feel good, don’t do that. In every area of life, you know, in your marriage, if it’s feeling good, amazing. Then stay in that space. You know. If it’s not feeling good, make a change. Do something different. You know, friendships, your job, where you live, your relationship with food, you know, your relationship with yourself. All the things. It’s like. It’s so easy, I feel. But people make it so hard. It’s like, if it feels good, do it. You know, that’s.

Wendy Valentine: I know. I call that. I call that the yum yuck principle.

Jen Mitchell: It’s like.

Wendy Valentine: It’s either yum or yuck. Like, one or the other feels good.

Jen Mitchell: Great.

Wendy Valentine: Even if it’s something hard to do, it could still be like a yummy feeling of like, okay, I’m gonna do this. I’m gonna live with the baseball basement for just a little while, and then I’m gonna.

Jen Mitchell: Because that’s the thing. Living in the basement for a while, what are you shifting out of? You know what I mean? Exactly. Exactly. It. It’s like freedom. It’s just reuniting with self. It’s giving yourself time to figure out who you are and what you want.

Wendy Valentine: And you’re.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And you’re doing it all for you.

Jen Mitchell: Totally. Which is also doing it, for the other people in your life.

When you divorce with children, you’re showing the children, yes, you can

Wendy Valentine: Exactly. Love.

Jen Mitchell: Because that’s the other thing. It’s like, you know, when people are like, oh, I have children. I can’t get a divorce. I’m going to wait till they emancipate. It’s like, what are you talking about? What are you talking about? Like, this is a good environment for your children, having two parents who are playing parts of, this happily married couple. But the energy is totally contrary. And children are so in tune to energy that they’re feeling it. And you’re their parents, you’re telling them that it’s one way. And they’re so confused. They’re like, well, they’re telling me that they love each other and they’re married, but they don’t even hug each other.

Wendy Valentine: And, they’re exactly.

Jen Mitchell: They’re really crabby.

Wendy Valentine: But think about it too. When you, when you divorce with children, you’re showing the children, yes, you can have a good separation, a divorce. You can move on from relationships that do not serve you. You can have a loving separation. Right? Oh my God.

Jen Mitchell: What is it?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, it’s like, what are you teaching them? If you don’t like saying, oh, no, you do stay in a relationship, that is not good for you.

Jen Mitchell: Right? No, totally. And I think even bigger, even bigger is parents who divorce mindfully, you know, and like we, we talked about earlier, it’s like 98 of the time, one person is driving it, you know, so that person speaking his or her their truth in that container, you know what I mean? But kids, and then they decide to go through it mindfully, empower themselves, not go in the lemming program destructive lobotomy courtroom, you know, but actually have the difficult conversations because it’s hard. Mediation is not kumbaya. Everyone is not loving and getting along. You know, it’s difficult space. But the kids, seeing their parents go through that, seeing their parents have those conversations, seeing their parents shift mindfully into a different space that they created. Through their conversations and their shared intention. I think all of that for children to see their parents not only talk about living their truth and making the hard decisions that they don’t know, like what you said earlier, they don’t know what’s out there. They don’t know what’s coming, but they’re following their truth chakra, they’re following their inner guidance, and they are trusting that it’s going to be something amazing. And I think children seeing their parents putting themselves first and making those decisions, now we have a whole, we have generations of children that are now learning that in their life journey, they’re going to encounter difficult times too. Just like their parents have shown Them, you know, just like they’re already going through as kids, but now they’re learning that they. All they have to do is trust their inner guidance, and then it’s okay, and it’s. It’s a safe space, and it’s acceptable to navigate life in that way. You know what I mean? Now we’re. Now we’re talking about complete shifting of all of the paradigms and systems that are currently in place that are trapping people. You know, all of these broken systems that have been created generations ago that are just. They’re not serving, you know, the medical system, the legal system, education system, the political system, and all of these people who are just, like, programmed in there. Oh, this is what I need to do. But now you have this. These new generations that are living in this authentically driven manner on their own path, and what are they going to do? You know what I mean? They’re going to get in those systems. Why are we doing it this way? This doesn’t work. You know, it doesn’t feel good. It doesn’t feel good. We’re not going to. It feels heavy and gross. We’re not going to do that. We’re not going to do the yuck. We’re going to do the yum. You know, and you have all these people who are living empowered. I mean, that really is what it is. It’s living from an empowered space. It’s recognizing that life is messy and life is hard at times, and we’re going to go through all these things, but it’s always remembering we are here for this amazing journey, to experience all these things and learn all these things and keep going into that muck, but then keep going into light, you know.

Wendy Valentine: And back again and back again.

Jen Mitchell: Right.

Wendy Valentine: So you, can work with people nationwide, right?

Jen Mitchell: I can, yeah. As a mediator. I can. It’s beautiful. I. The rules are I can mediate in any state. Okay. and we’re going to be doing these four days. We’re going to start in the Chicagoland area. Martin Luther King weekend is going to be the first one, because we want to do four days. We want to invite the kids, so then they’ll just miss one day of school. but we want to do these all over the country. Like, I really want to shift the way people are looking at divorce and the way that they’re experiencing it and just shatter all of that and make it this beautiful container of, like, you really can do this. And I have that m. I have a master class, Divorce with Love.

Wendy Valentine: And, I Love that name, by the way.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, it’s so. And it’s so good. It’s like teaches everything. It’s so good. And I’m not just saying that. I really, I’m like, it’s all of a decade of this work that’s put into three and a half hours of like all the legal stuff you need to know, all the emotional stuff you need to know, like going through the journal prompts, you know, to help people really process this. And there’s like an 80 page workbook and just like amazing.

Wendy Valentine: Just a beautiful, silly question. Can you.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: You have to have both people doing this then. Yeah. Not the course though, I guess.

The course you could do on your own. It will give anyone everything they need to know about divorce

The course you could do on your own. Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: The course you can do on your own and it will just give you. It will give anyone that watches the master class, they will know everything they need to know about divorce. And they will not have the program fear and stress and overwhelm because they’ll just know everything about it.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. To be more knowledgeable and, and definitely to learn more about yourself and the transformation that you yourself can go through, through, like no matter what ends up happening with the legal side of it, think more about what’s going on on the inside of you and how you can change.

Jen Mitchell: Totally, Wendy. And it’s nine modules and module four is about the legal. Everything else is about what you just talked about. Everything else is like questioning belief systems that you have. Where did they come from? Thinking of generational lineage stuff, you know what I mean? Like a chakra balancing meditation. Like things that are going to help people to connect with themselves, you know, while they’re going through a divorce. Which is the most important aspect I feel of divorce is you navigating, you know, figuring.

Wendy Valentine: Exactly. You mentioned earlier about having those difficult conversations, but I would say the most difficult conversation is the one that you will have with yourself totally during that whole process. Right.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: You do have to ask yourself those. Those questions. And you may not have those answers right away. Just like my soul likes to wait at least a year. But it is asking yourself those questions and questioning things like your thoughts, your beliefs around divorce, around relationship, around a partner, what you really, really need, what are you. I mean, I started to get more in touch with what my values were.

Jen Mitchell: Were.

Wendy Valentine: Like, I. I never really asked myself, like, what are my values? What are my values in a relationship and feeling, okay, that I can say, hey, these are my values, these are my needs. And, and so it, it really can transform you into a beautiful, beautiful person.

Jen Mitchell: Totally. I mean, it definitely can shift you out of the programs and ways of being. You know, where you see that, like in the beginning of my living, of my career, where I just was programmed, I must be a litigation attorney working so hard in a law firm, in an office. And the only view I had was the men’s washroom on the fifth floor. And it was so that was a human interaction. I was a waitress for 12 years before then. And it was just. But it’s the programs, right? And that’s exactly it. Like what you just shared, Wendy, is exactly. That’s the mock. That’s the beauty of that mock is giving yourself that space to ask those m. Questions and to take really good care of yourself and love yourself. Because it’s so lonely, you know, and people going through divorce, you can talk all day. I know, but.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, and that’s the thing too. Like in. In speaking with friends and family about the divorce is not always the greatest thing because they’re going to have their perspective of divorce in itself, their beliefs around it. They’re, you know, and it. It can really bring up a lot for other people. Like they could be, p* that you’re actually doing it.

Jen Mitchell: Totally.

Wendy Valentine: You actually have the courage to get out of a relationship that is not good for you. Right. And so you.

Jen Mitchell: It.

Wendy Valentine: It’ll be so the best, the most that you can just stick, stay right here in your lane, do what you gotta do and And use the time to really learn more about yourself.

Jen Mitchell: Totally. And that’s so. You’re so smart. You’re so into it. Thank you.

Start thinking about what you want in your life after divorce

Because that is. Because that is it too. You know, all the voices, all the voices saying what you should do or scaring you or telling you what you shouldn’t do. So.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: My strongest recommendation across the board to, There’s two to all my clients. Get in nature. Submerge yourself in nature because that will quiet all the noise and exercise in whatever way that looks like for. For you move your body to remove that energy, you know, because it’s all stored in you. So move your body, drink the water. I mean, that’s the other side. Drink the water. Eat the high vibrational foods, you know, like sleep, meditate, journal. Like those are all salt baths. Like those are all extra. But the. But the core, you know, the core ones. And start to go and exercise.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And start to even dream about your life after divorce. Right. Because first of all, as adults we kind of forget to dream. Like that’s like. Oh. Something you just don’t do anymore. But start to Think about what you want in your life after divorce.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And the, the woman that you want to become. Yeah. sort. I mean, for me. Yeah. I, I had to start thinking like, okay, who, who do I want Wendy to be? And I, I didn’t have time to wait for this new Wendy to show up. I was like, I need your a** now. Like, yes. I’ll never forget my aunt Annie. She said to me, she’s like, wendy, you’ve always wanted to be an actress. She’s like, just start acting however you think you want to be. And I was like, oh, so great. And that’s exactly what I did. I was like, okay, how would Wendy walk into a room? How would Wendy talk? How does she stand? How does she. All of it. I was like, all of it. Acting like her.

Jen Mitchell: That is manifest.

Wendy Valentine: And then eventually you become. Yeah, eventually you become that person.

Jen Mitchell: You. Energy. It’s an energy vibration. It is all that version of Wendy that you are today that you weren’t.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: You said at the beginning of your nine year cycle, all of this started. You know what I mean? Like, it’s all energy and it’s the higher our vibration goes. Yeah. It’s amazing. I mean, but you have to go in the muck to raise the vibration. It doesn’t just. That’s the part of it. We grow there, you know, that’s where we grow is in the difficult times. And it’s amazing, you know, especially for women. I am telling you, that Ellie Wong show, that’s why I keep watching it. It’s like, it’s so true because I feel like so many women in their 40s, you know, who are going through divorce, their 50s. I feel like maybe the programming before was like, who’s going to want to date me? I’m in my 40s, you know, I had that.

Wendy Valentine: I went through that.

Jen Mitchell: You are so powerful. We are so powerful. We know ourselves so well.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: Live in this way that is so intentional and mindful. We know the red flags and now we’re old enough to know that when a red flag presents, it’s a red flag and it’s no longer in my space. You know what I mean? I’m not like trying to be a nice person. Like, oh, that red flag came. But he said all these things and he’s such a nice person. It’s like he’s a nice person for someone else possibly. You know what I mean? But it’s not in my space. It’s just this. It’s a beautiful, It’s A beautiful journey, I just think. And I’m, you know, who knows what the relationship space is going to look like? You know what I mean? Yeah. I don’t know because they’re so, so many different options, which is a whole. Another show, which I’m sure.

What were your top two lessons from your divorce? What really changed

Wendy Valentine: What would you say for, for your divorce? What were your top two lessons? Like? What really changed you?

Jen Mitchell: Oh my gosh, what really changed? I mean, so. And you know, it’s so interesting, this question because we’ve had a lot of changes that just recently happened and I feel like for me, it was five years ago that, that the legal divorce happened, but we were still energetically. Our cord was not severed as far as learnings. It wasn’t romantic anymore, but we still had things to learn. And so that learning just came. and I mean, I’m just going to share it because it’s my truth. So I will never be financially responsible for a man ever again.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Jen Mitchell: I will never do that. And I will never also take on the responsibility for another human being if it’s in a relationship, you know, romantic relationship, or even friendship. I no longer will hold that space where I feel that it’s my role to show them the way or lift them up or help them, you know?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Or fix it.

Jen Mitchell: They are what they want. Fixer. Yeah. Yes. And I took on so much for, I mean, 19 years. This just happened last week. So of course, of course we were meant to connect exactly when we did because you and I have been emailing for a very long time. but yeah, I didn’t have that. That. And it was a really difficult space to go through to have that shattering and then look back at other romantic relationships throughout my whole adulthood and be like, oh, my God, I just did this over and over and over. How exhausting for me, you know, and how limiting for me. And, and just really questioning like, what, what was that in myself that I didn’t feel worthy of having a partner who could take care of me, you know, because I’m so strong and I have so much energy and I’m so smart and I’m so successful. I can do it. All of this, you know, so those are. Yeah, that’s been. And it’s been beautiful, you know, I mean, but it’s been, difficult. Like, it’s been. There was a whole day of anger that was. It felt like I had a cold sore over my whole body because it was just seething out of me, you know, And I went to like, sauna, cold plunge and breath, work and all of the things, you know, even tequila, which I don’t drink very often, but I was. This is so uncomfortable. But, But just sharing from a space of, you know, when we go through the lessons, when we learn those things, it is very uncomfortable. I mean, I was physically, physically, very uncomfortable. But then it. You do the self care you do, you take out the tools from your tools that, you know, help. And now I’ve gotten to this space where it’s like. And I’ve. I’m connecting with other men. And now it’s just a narrative. Like, I am not responsible for a man’s financial.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Ah, yeah. Divorce can. I mean, it can shine light on some of your darkest things within you and beliefs and thoughts and. But it’s great, though, because then you can question it. You can have those difficult conversations with yourself and be like, okay, girl, where the h*** did I pick this up and why have I continued it? Right? Like, you start to connect the dots and then, oh, my gosh. And same for me. I mean, I was a fixer, a people pleaser. Like, I can do it. I can do it, because if I do it, then I’ll be loved more. I get it. And I did that for the longest freaking time, till divorce finally woke me up. Of like, oh, look at the kitty cat on the screen. If you’re watching on YouTube, you can see the kitty cat.

Jen Mitchell: He was like, he’s been coming up the whole time.

Wendy Valentine: And now he’s like, I thought I saw him earlier. And I was like, am I going crazier? Is there a cat in the screams?

Jen Mitchell: Yeah, keep going. Sorry.

Wendy Valentine: He’s like, I want a part of this.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah, yeah, you want some screen time. Kashi A.

Wendy Valentine: He looks like my kitty cat that I used to have. His name was Tommy. He was big and fat.

Jen Mitchell: So sweet. They’re so energetic. They say that cats can see energy only.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, yeah.

Jen Mitchell: I always am so intrigued. Like, what are you seeing? Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: He was like, oh, let me meet this deer.

Jen Mitchell: I want to meet Wendy.

Wendy Valentine: This has been so good. I’m so, so grateful that you’re doing what you’re doing.

Jen Mitchell: I love you. And I’m sorry that the cat came up, but you were talking.

A lot of wounds come from a generational lineage wound

There’s another.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, yeah.

Jen Mitchell: Another self. Have you seen that?

Wendy Valentine: No.

Jen Mitchell: Listeners might enjoy it too, because it’s totally relating to what you said. You know, like, when you were saying, you know, where did this come from? Where did these kind of wounds come from? A lot of times it really is a generational lineage wound.

Wendy Valentine: Yes.

Jen Mitchell: So, like, Our mother being, women. Our mother, our grandmothers, our aunts, you know, further down the line. And it’s. It’s passed on to us. And when we do the work of healing, you know, we’re healing seven generations before and seven generations after. But that show Another Self is really. It really portrays and express. Explains that in a beautiful way.

Don’t be scared of being single, Wendy says

Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And I just. Let me see if I can bring it up because I’ll forget. There is a book that I am actually. Oh, here it is right here. it is called she’s going to be on the show soon.

Wendy Valentine: One moment, One moment. The name of the book is choose yourself how to embrace being single, heal core wounds and build a life you love.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, love it.

Wendy Valentine: But, right. It’s like, don’t be scared of being single. Like, it’s. Don’t think, like, single such a bad thing, because it is such. Again, like, for me, like, all right, I’m going to divorce and marry myself and get more connected with yourself. And it’s. It is such a beautiful time to give you that space to. To heal.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, my.

Wendy Valentine: So that you can be the, the partner that you want to be and then find the partner that you want to have.

Jen Mitchell: Yeah. And attract that whole experience. Like you have to. I mean, I’ve been single for three years now, and I love it, but I. But it’s fun, too, dating. And, you know, all of it is fun, but it’s. Yeah, it’s definitely not a space to fear, you know, for any of your listeners thinking that it’s gonna be a scary, lonely, dark place. It’s like, it’s the opposite. Watch Ellie Long. Huh?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Jen Mitchell: That is what it is. That is what it can be.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, that’s the euphoria part of it.

Jen Mitchell: Right. And it’s full circle with this. With this time together. Wendy of choice. You know, it’s always a choice. It’s like, what do you want it to look like and feel like? It’s you.

Wendy Valentine: Exactly.

Jen Mitchell: Whatever you share, whatever you choose and you put intention towards that will be your experience. So, choose amazing. choose light. Choose fun. Choose joy. Choose yes, love.

Wendy Valentine: You know, choose a cute little kitty cat.

Jen Mitchell: Choose this cute cat that feels so soft because it’s really good food.

Wendy Valentine: So where can we find you?

Jen is launching a website to help people through divorce

Jen Mitchell: Okay, so the website has everything. So it’s www.solace divorce.com. and everything is on there. So the master class is on there. we’re just starting marketing for this four days. So I’ll put the four day on there. And yeah. Our intention is to just take that four day on the road and go to different states. So because every state has a different law, so go to the different states and host these really beautiful containers and help people get through this process in four days. But there’s work beforehand. 30 days, and it’s fine. but four days in that container of shifting mindfully and just leaving, feeling everything we’ve been talking about. Soul sister feeling excited about life.

Wendy Valentine: Awesome.

Jen Mitchell: it’s so fun.

Wendy Valentine: It’s a whole divorce movement, you know, it’s awesome.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, and you, you and I have both been through it. It really is extraordinary.

Wendy Valentine: And look at us. I mean, yeah, life goes. Not only does life go on, but it goes on even better.

Jen Mitchell: Girl, girl, we are hot, we are smart, we know who we are.

Wendy Valentine: Divorced, kindred spirits, you know, it’s like.

Jen Mitchell: We’Re living our lives, you know, and hopefully. And that’s always my intention, I hope, to just inspire people, you know, by talking more about this. Just inspire people. Just live your life, have so much fun and make the changes that are hard, you know, and my heart does. I am sending love to all those people, you know, listening, who are in a difficult space of. They’re not the butterflies that we are, Wendy. Yeah, they’re still.

Wendy Valentine: They’re in the cocoon. They’re. Yeah. And. And it’s okay to struggle, right? Just like the butterfly, you have to struggle to get out of the cocoon and so you can fly. So embrace the struggle, embrace the mud and all that, and you’ll get through it.

Jen Mitchell: And I have a new book that’s coming out too. You do? I do. It was called Shine Goddess Shine, and it was a book for women. 30 days, you know, 30 day. Kind of just pick your. Pick your. Choose your path that day. but then I changed it to Shine Soul Shine because some of my masculine energy clients were telling me that they would want to read it too. And I was like, okay, maybe that’s my own little belief that, you know, the feminine energy loves processing and healing and the masculine doesn’t. So that’s another thing that hopefully can help people when they’re in that cocoon space of, again, I mean, it’s all comes back to self, right? It all comes back to learning who you are and what you want and. And opening up space, getting out of the thinking, getting out of the conscious, opening up space to really hear that inner guidance within you and trusting it, you know, and loving yourself and stuff.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you, Jen. You’re awesome.

Jen Mitchell: Thank you, thank you. So much for this conversation.

Wendy Valentine: We’ll meet. We’ll meet someday.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, girl. We’re gonna.

Wendy Valentine: Maybe a Burning man tour.

Jen Mitchell: Maybe Burning man, your book tour. I mean, so many. So I feel that we’re just. I just am so grateful to be connected to you. I’m so grateful for the work that you’re doing, for just the, light and just radiant light that you shine out. I mean, seriously, it’s so.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you.

Jen Mitchell: It’s so beautiful. And I just think of all the women that are probably listening to your show, you know, week after week that may be in difficult spaces, and I just love that you are the voice. And just like this m. Physical goddess being, that’s helping bring people on your show to help them navigate, you know, and help them find their way into the light, just like that lotus, and really, you know, figure out their own path and have the courage and strength to do that, you know, to live that way. It’s. It’s really beautiful. What you do made me cry. I’m obsessed with you. I just think. I do. I just. I think you’re amazing. I’m so grateful to be connected to you. I can’t wait to meet you in the physical. We’re gonna have such.

Wendy Valentine: We’re gonna blow too much. We might have to do tequila.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, I love it. 100%. Gabby actually has 10 health benefits for you, so I don’t drink alcohol frequently, but when I do. When I do only a plant, it’s like, okay, lower my stress.

Wendy Valentine: Straight from the cactus, right? The tequila from the cactus.

Jen Mitchell: It’s just clean. Yeah, it’s amazing.

Thank you, Jen. Thank you for this conversation. Have a great day

Wendy Valentine: Thank you, Jen.

Jen Mitchell: Oh, I love you so much. Thank you for having me. Thank you for this conversation. Thank you. Thank you.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you, everyone. Have a great day.

Jen Mitchell: Bye.