Wendy Valentine: Welcome to the Midlife Makeover Show. I’m your host, Wendy Valentine. And since we are now settling into 2025, well, a little bit, it’s a great time to reassess where we are and realign with what truly fulfills us. Today’s guest, Celine Chinoy, is an author, blogger and podcaster dedicated to helping people live authentically and create a life of purpose. She’s the creator of the Dream Catcher. I love that name. An online community that has inspired Thousands, with over 5 million readers and 300,000 listeners and viewers worldwide. In her book, the Nomadic Soul, Celine reveals a revolutionary framework for self discovery, exploring the six core needs, three centered on freedom and three on connection, that are essential for living with purpose and joy. If you’re feeling called to embrace change. Oh, yes, you are. And step into the best version of yourself. this year, you won’t want to miss this conversation. Please welcome Celine to the show. Wow.

Seline Shenoy: Hello, Wendy. How are you doing today?

Wendy Valentine: That’s my favorite part of the whole episode. Doing the intro, I’m like, yeah, you.

Seline Shenoy: Totally gassed me up there. I love it. I loved it.

Wendy Valentine: Welcome, welcome. Let’s see, you’re in Dubai and I’m in Portugal. And the cool thing is we’re talking, we’re talking to people all over the world, which is so freaking awesome.

Seline Shenoy: We’re going global.

Wendy Valentine: We’re going global, baby. We’re going global. Isn’t that neat though, that we can actually shine our light just by getting on here and doing this? I love it.

Seline Shenoy: I know. And, I mean, I just love technology. We wouldn’t have been able to do this in the 90s or the 80s. You know, know when, when we grew up and we were kids. Well, I was a kid.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly.

The Nomadic Soul is an archetype that I created to describe deep inner exploration

So question for you. first of all, I love the name. Well, I love the other, the, the community name, the Dream Catcher, but then also the Nomadic Soul. What inspired you to write this book?

Seline Shenoy: Okay, so the Nomadic Soul is an archetype that I created to describe a personal willingness to, to do deep inner exploration both within ourselves and the world around us. And the reason why I wrote it is because I felt that our society is becoming increasingly, more egocentric and more self centered. And it felt like there was a loss of depth and a loss of this willingness to live in alignment with our values and what’s most important to us. So I felt that a book like this could help people recalibrate and really check in with themselves and figure out, okay, what can I do to live? You, know my high in alignment with my highest self and what’s really important to me because I think, we’re starting to lose focus of that because we are being increasingly distracted by what’s going on outside. Obviously social media, the technology, universe, it’s taking away from the, time and the space that we used to have to go within and, to really reflect. So I think this book hopefully would be a reminder for people about, hey, it’s important to look within and to really take note of the things that truly matter to you and to also create a character that would not only make your life better, but make the lives of other people better. so, yeah, that’s what motive motivated me to write the Nomadic Soul.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, it was. I was just thinking though, isn’t it interesting how it seems like nowadays it’s almost. You have to like, try really hard to carve out time for yourself? I mean, we talk about self care a lot. Like, oh, self care, taking bathtubs and getting massage. But to me, like, that is self care. Right? It’s like soul care. Taking care of your soul and really getting to know yourself. And it’s, it’s a gift that you can give to yourself because it’s so easy. I mean, I. Holding up my phone right here, it’s so easy to just get caught up in all the superficial crap and just scroll and scroll and scroll and next, like an hour goes by, it’s like, oh, my God, I could have been doing something more valuable for myself. Which actually, just like I was saying in the beginning of, like, Shining Our light, being able to give more to yourself, to the people around you, and even to the whole world. It’s like the butterfly effect.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I love the term soul care because that’s precisely what I’m, prescribing in this book. Yes and yes.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, we don’t think about that, though. We talk, we talk so much about taking care of our bodies, about our physical aspect and, and emotional too. I mean, that’s all very important. Physical, mental and emotional, but at a soul level, like, to really get there. So for some people, they can’t. I mean, even for myself too, it’s like, it’s tried. It’s hard to imagine how do I care for my soul, what do I do to actually get to that, those deeper levels of myself and bring that to the surface?

Seline Shenoy: And, if there’s any conversation about soul care, it’s usually limited to meditation, mindfulness, yoga, which is all great, but for some people, that Might be a bit too woo woo and something that they’d rather not do, especially men. so I think what’s important is making it more accessible to everybody and to say, hey, this is something that everybody can do. Which is why I created this framework, and where I really, really outline the different needs of our nomadic soul. And I provide very actionable steps that people can apply in their daily life. So it’s very doable. And it’s not something that is tied to an ideology. So it’s something that everybody can do without feeling like they’re in that realm of, you know, being esoteric and being out there. Because I think people are becoming more and more secular and less tied to, kind of organized systems of belief. They want to have that free reign to choose what they, what they want to believe in. So that’s why the. I created a system which can do that for them and give them options.

Wendy Valentine: options are good nowadays.

Seline Shenoy: So.

You talked about the importance of freedom and connection. So how do those two forces actually go together

Wendy Valentine: So you had talked about, the importance of freedom and connection. So how are those, how do those two forces actually go together?

Seline Shenoy: Well, I think that as human beings we have always had this sense of curiosity and this need to really break out of our mold and not be limited by, not just our physical surroundings, but, but by societal labels and the expectations that are placed on us. So I mean, freedom is such a big word, right? It could mean so many things. It could be, it could be just freedom, human rights. Freedom, right. Just to live like a human being and have your basic rights. Or it could be just freedom to just do whatever you want whenever you want. And I think deep down inside we all have that need. We don’t want people lording over us and telling us what to do. so that is a fundamental need which I’ve identified across the board. And Connection. You said the second was connection. What was the other one? Connection.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, Freedom and connection.

Seline Shenoy: And connection is. We’re social beings, right? We need to be anchored in relationships of all kinds. First of all, the relationship with ourself, that is fundamental, right? Without that, unless we’re anchored in our own being, we can’t form a relationship with anybody else or anything else, right? We’ll just be like floating in the void. Like we won’t have anything to ground us. So first of all, developing that connection with ourselves and then connecting with other people. We’re social beings right from the beginning, since the caveman days, we needed community. So, that form of connection is essential. And then connecting with nature, other creatures, and then A force higher, bigger than ourselves, you know, whether you call it God, you know, you know, whatever it is that you connect with, that sense of otherworldliness and that transcendence, we all need that. So I believe that these are two sides of a coin. Freedom, the need for freedom and the need for connection. And by fulfilling these needs, we will be able to achieve a sense of wholeheartedness and really achieve that sense of fulfillment that we’re all seeking.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, it’s funny, I was thinking about the word freedom the other day because just like you said, like, it means something different to everyone. And the last two episodes I’ve had, one was about being bold, one was about being radical. And I’m like, okay, what does that actually mean? You know, and it. Because it means something different to everyone and at different stages in life. And just like freedom, I mean, I, I can remember at one point free freedom meant for me to be able to, you know, like, to have a job that I could travel and I could, you know, I could work remotely. That was, that was part of the freedom that I was wanting. I wanted the freedom to be able to do what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. Not have to ask someone, do what do you want to do? You know, and then, and then at one point, like, the deeper I went into, to my soul care, my nomadic soul, right? Lot of my freedom was freedom from myself, from the limiting thoughts, from all of the doubt and the, and the BS that I would tell myself. Like, I wanted freedom from basically the ego, right? Like, I wanted my soul to just be able to breathe. And I, and I wasn’t being held back from anything. So I think, like, it’s a, it’s an important question, that everyone needs to ask himself, like, what does freedom mean to me? Within your. Within yourself. I mean, there’s again, like, there can be freedom, external freedoms, and then there’s internal. Like, what does that internal freedom mean to you? What does it mean to you?

Seline Shenoy: Oh, first of all, I just want to acknowledge the point that you just made.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: Freedom from ourselves, those limiting beliefs, those fears that we have, those demons within us. Ah, ah, that is, that is such a good point. and I, I love the way you define freedom. And I would, I would actually say the same. That’s, that’s definitely one aspect of freedom, for me. But I think freedom for me is to not be limited by social expectation and labels that are placed upon me. And this is heavily influenced by my cultural upbringing because that has definitely impacted me as an Asian woman. And we have to deal with this cultural baggage. and I think just the freedom to be the kind of woman that I want to be and not be, kind of limited by the mold that has been laid out by culture. and I know this is something that women all over the world face, but definitely in more conservative, collectivistic cultures where roles are kind of predetermined.

Seline Shenoy: It becomes more of a burden that women have to face. And I, I think it’s the same for men as well. they too have to deal, with a lot of expectations from, from, from m Society. So for me, yeah, that freedom is really, predicated on the cultural impact that’s been pervasive in my life.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, I totally agree. And I also, when you think about, it’s like when you define what does freedom mean to you at this point in your life and then what are you willing to do about it? Because we could say like, okay, this is holding me back and I can’t have freedom from this and this and this. But are you, you’re also the one that has the ability and the control to do something with that in order to achieve that freedom? And that’s, I think, the scary part.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, yeah. And I think, Wendy, we, we have more power than we realize.

Wendy Valentine: I know, I know. Yeah. I, see it all the time. I, I, I know I totally.

Seline Shenoy: We kind of just given and surrender. Like, this is my life and there’s nothing I can do to change it. and, oh, it’s going to be too much work. I don’t want to rock the boat, but, you know, the door is right there in front of us and we have the key to open it. We just have to, we just have to see that and believe that we can do that.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah. I mean, I thought I was, think I was doing, I’m doing some deep thinking lately, y’all.

I was thinking about people going through challenges in their life

I was thinking like, so many people I hear from, people that have like, are going through challenges in their life, no matter it’s changing a career or they have to sell their house or they’re going through a divorce or whatever it is, and they’re so focused on what they’re going to have to do, which is good. Like you, you got to think about those things, but think about where you will be on the other side of it and trusting and have faith that you will get through it. And imagine that that woman that you will become after you change your career and you’re now like, you have new relationships and. Or you move into a new place and all the different experiences, whatever. Like, imagine that, like the end result. Because if you keep focusing on the problems, then it’s so overwhelming, and then you just. You’re so stressed, it’s harder to move forward instead of just going, okay, I got this. I can do it. I can do it. Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, that’s. That’s so beautifully said. I. I think it’s important to just to be pulled by the vision versus just, you know, wear those blinders and be totally, limited by all the things that can go wrong, all those fears and listening to your inner critic. You can’t do it. Or, this can happen. That can happen, you know? Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: It’s exhausting.

Seline Shenoy: Those litany of excuses that are just gonna drown the voice of your wiser self, which is saying, hey, you really, really gotta get going, you know?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I mean, you and I talked before we hit record about becoming authors and having a book out there. Like, it’s a very vulnerable feeling. I mean, and it’s like, absolutely. I think any.

Seline Shenoy: Create. Any creative person, any creative field, like, it’s. You. You have to put yourself out there.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: And it’s hard.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Yeah. and. And it’s just like this weird feeling. And then every. It’s almost like, okay, wait, I thought I took care of that. D*** limiting belief. It’s back again. And, you know, I mean, like, here it is in the next few weeks, like, boom, here comes this book that I’ve been waiting for. It’s my dream. And I’m still like, I hope everyone likes it. I feel like a little, you know, kid again going, I hope they like it. What if they don’t like it? I’m like, okay, enough. Like, that’s enough. And you.

Seline Shenoy: You.

Wendy Valentine: You have to almost talk yourself through some of this.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. And, don’t be afraid to reach out for support, have friends or have a coach or something.

Wendy Valentine: And it’s normal. It’s normal, right?

Seline Shenoy: For you. I mean, it’s. It’s normal. Don’t beat yourself up if you know that, gremlin. Inner gremlin raises its ugly head. It’s. It’s natural.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Just being prepared for that voice is important. Yeah. The key is to have a game plan about how to handle it

Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: You know, so the. The key is to have a game plan about how to handle it and replace that voice with a voice that is more supportive. like an inner coach, you know, someone who will push you in a good way. So just being prepared for that voice is. Is important.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I think when I first read, Untethered, Soul. That book.

Seline Shenoy: Oh, I love that book.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. It’s. Yeah, it’s one of my faves. And it’s, it’s so simple. There’s nothing. It’s not rocket science. It’s just very basic teachings, very simplistic.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. It has its roots in Buddhism. Buddhist teachings. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: But I mean, I can remember that’s when I first really started listening to the chatter in my mind. Like, wait a second, who’s. And my goal was is that I wanted the cheerleader in my mind to be louder than my critic.

Seline Shenoy: Absolutely. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And I was like, oh no. And every time some type of negativity or self doubt or limiting belief would creep in, I’m like, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not going to have it because. Yeah, yeah, it, it’ll stop.

Seline Shenoy: Sometimes you have to, you have to do the work to really, explore, expl. Explore it and see where the voice is coming from. I worked with a coach for, for a year to get to know that inner critic and its origins and really, you know, deal with it and find ways to, to to quieten that voice. It took a lot of work. Like I had to do a lot of reflection. I had to do some, you know, some journaling. So I mean the deeper entrenched it is and the stronger that voice is, I think the more, the more work you need to put into, to detaching from it.

Wendy Valentine: You know, I feel like the more. And yes, it does take a lot of work to do all that. And it’s so worth it because the more that you can take care of your soul, get to really know yourself at that soul level. The external stuff doesn’t really bother you that much anymore. You just kind of like you almost don’t see it or you don’t hear it. It’s just so. It’s like, it’s just like noise. You just like, whatever.

Seline Shenoy: And, and that’s incredibly liberating, Wendy. I mean, one thing about getting freedom. One thing. Yeah. That is freedom. That’s one thing I love about getting older and wiser. Like stuff doesn’t bother you as much as it used to.

Wendy Valentine: No.

Seline Shenoy: Really does. Especially if you’ve been doing the inner work. like you just, you just don’t care anymore. Like people can say whatever they want to say.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: But if you know who you are and you know what’s important to you and you know that you’re following your, your highest path and your calling it.

Seline Shenoy: Doesn’t matter what other people say.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

A lot of people will wonder what is their purpose in life

Speaking of, a lot of people will wonder, especially their 40s and 50s and like, life is like catching up. And they’re like, wait a second, what is my purpose? You know, like, what am, why am I here? What am I supposed to be doing? So what, how, how does someone help, you know, how do they arrive at this is my purpose in life, this is what I should be doing.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. This is a big, juicy, question. And I mean there have been so many books written about this, but, ah, you know, with different types of modalities and methodology. But I think the one that I resonate most with is really paying attention to the things that excite you.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: And call to you, just see what you’re gravitating towards.

Seline Shenoy: and I think that could be your biggest clue. It’s like a treasure trail. Right. You got to look like if you’re younger and I know your audience is probably not that young, but they probably have kids, right?

Wendy Valentine: Young at heart.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, young at heart. Like encourage your kids to just follow, follow their interests and to experiment and see, you know, just try it on for size. I think you have to be experimental, in the early stages or even now if you, if you’re still not sure now just try to experiment with a couple of things and see what, what sticks and what really gets you going. So I think really staying tuned in and seeing what really excites you and what what really calls to you and then kind of refining that and seeing how can that be expressed in the world, like in a tangible way. Because we’re living in a time where, I mean, we can do all sorts of stuff like on the Internet, like you can be like as a creator, the sky is the limit. You do everything. And that wasn’t the case earlier. So just, I think just follow, follow that, that, that fire within you. And then there definitely will be something that really lights you up. So pay attention to that. And I think that’s the most. I like it because it’s very, simple.

Wendy Valentine: And and, and simple’s best. I mean, I’m all about.

Seline Shenoy: And simple is best. Don’t complicate it, you know, and don’t make it seem like it’s this big grand thing where you got to like save the planet and now it can be something so, so simple, you know? yeah, you know, because that’s intimidating. That’s what intimidates people and blocks them from actually going there. Yeah. You know, but no, it could. And it’s okay. The, the scale doesn’t matter what, what matters is that you feel like you’re making an impact and. Yeah. And it has your unique fingerprint.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I think from, you know, when I look back, I. One thing I learned is that your purpose is not always a vocation. doesn’t have to be a career.

Seline Shenoy: So true.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. And then, and then also, I mean, your soul itself is, that is, it’s its purpose is to just be here. In other words, like, you’re not trying to achieve something grand, like you said, like to accept who you are and what you’re doing. It doesn’t matter. You, your purpose is multiple things. I feel, and I, I feel like what you do on your journey here in this, you know, school of life is learning and teach. I mean, we’re all, we’re all teachers and we’re all learning, learner. We’re all students, we’re all teachers. Right. We’re all learning something. We’re all teaching something in multiple ways. And with our family and even the barista at Starbucks, we’re all teaching and we’re all learning. And it’s just taking all of those life lessons and just do, do something good with it. Doesn’t matter what it is. Even if you’re just planting flowers, it doesn’t make a difference. Like, it doesn’t have to be one thing that you do. And like, that’s my purpose, like for now.

Seline Shenoy: Like, yeah, you can have multiple purposes. Doesn’t have to be one. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: And I mean, I can remember, for me, again, I would. I was so stressed trying to find my purpose. I’m like, what am I supposed to be doing with my life? What do I m. Mean and, but just like you said, the greatest thing I did was to try multiple things.

Wendy Valentine: I went to French pastry school, I became a yoga instructor, I became a meditation instructor, I became a coach. I did all these things to just try. I’m like, what the h***?

Seline Shenoy: My question is, is there a thread of commonality among all those things that you tried? Because. But there was.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, exactly. And I think that’s what it is, that when you start to try different things and have different experiences, you’ll find the thread. Or actually I think the thread finds you. It’ll just be like, yeah, you’ll just start to like, keep going down the pathway. And you’re like, ah, I just feel good. I don’t know why, but I’m gonna keep doing what I’m doing, you know?

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, yeah. As you were speaking, I just remember, Jack canfield he has a really good template that he’s created for defining your life purpose, which I don’t remember it off the top of my head, but I think it’s. You can find it in his book life skills, like 59 life skills or something. But he has such a handy template that you can use. it’s so succinct and it really gets you to like drill down to the basic components. That’s what I love about it.

Do you make New Year’s resolutions? Mhm. Yeah, I do like. I create annual goals, quarterly goals

So that’s a resource that I would offer your listeners.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, it’s. And really just tapping into your strengths and like, what do you like to do? What do you want to do? And. Yeah, yeah, just go with that.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Simplify, simplify, Don’t over complicate it.

Wendy Valentine: Do you make New Year’s resolutions?

Seline Shenoy: Well, not really because I’m. I just create like I create goals for. I create annual goals, quarterly goals, monthly goals. So it’s a ritual that I, I do anyway. So there’s. For me, it’s just. I, don’t know. For me, I. It. It’s not something, it’s. It’s not something that I partake in because it’s already built into my system.

Wendy Valentine: Mm, Yeah, I’m the same way. I mean, I think it’s like the new year rolls around. It’s always kind of like a nice time to like reset and regroup. I never really like the word like resolution, because you’re trying to resolve meaning, like there’s something wrong.

Seline Shenoy: So true.

Wendy Valentine: Like there’s something wrong and there’s something missing or there needs to be a correction. Like not really. You’re just recently.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, I do like. I do like to do an annual review. I like to look back on the year that’s passed and kind of just highlight the key moments, the milestones, the learnings, what went right, what I could have done better. And then kind of extract all of that and let that inform like what I do the next year. So that is something that I like to do at the end of the year.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah. I think everyone probably needs to just figure out what works for them. You know, if New Year’s resolutions work and studies have shown it works for you, then great. If not, then maybe try something different.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, absolutely. And now there are so many options out there, but different systems and ways of thinking about your life and your objectives.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. So I know that like we were, we were talking about what is freedom, what is bold, what is radical? You know, what does it mean to Connect, all that.

Another term that’s been popping up lately is authentic self

Another, another term that’s been popping up, lately is authentic self. And I had someone ask me the other day, or they, or she had said, I really just, I want to be my authentic self. I’m like, well, who is that? Who is your authentic self self? So how does someone actually get to know their authentic self? And most importantly, to be their authentic self?

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, I have a love hate relationship with that term.

Wendy Valentine: I know, Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: I, I have a whole chapter dedicated to developing, your identity. it’s the freedom to develop an authentic identity. Right.

Wendy Valentine: I like that.

Seline Shenoy: And in that, in that chapter, I lay out, you know, a step by step process where you can actually unravel the authentic part of you. So it goes down from the superficial layers, which are, you know, the roles that you play in life. You know, I’m a doctor, I’m a father, I’m, I don’t know, a stamp collector, whatever. Yeah. I am a Christian. Right. And then it kind of goes down to the core of who you are and that entails, you know, your values, what’s important to you, what are your standards, the, you know, the causes that really matter to you. So I think it’s almost like that part of you that really is at the crux of your being. Sort of like that inner compass within you that really guides your decisions. And I think it’s important to know what that compass is, so that you are not run by other forces.

Seline Shenoy: So getting really clear about those intangible aspects, of yourself. Because we are, Wendy. We’re all driven by something. Right. We all have things that drive us. And it’s important to kind of grapple with that and know what drives you. Because if you don’t, you could be, influenced by other, other people and other norms. So I think that authentic self is that core being of you that comprises, all those, those really, deep qualities that, that really matters, to you. And I think that stays pretty much the same. It doesn’t really change. And learning how to express that in a way that is, that. That feels real and that would benefit the world.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I always think too that I was saying earlier about we’re all, you know, teachers and students, we’re learning. Right. And a lot of it is the unlearning. It’s unlearning what is not us. Whether that’s been taught by culture, religion, society, friends, family, the upbringing. I think when you really think that’s.

Seline Shenoy: Who they are, that’s people Think that’s who they are.

Wendy Valentine: Right? exactly. And. And some people are very, very proud of their labels. And, in fact, I was at. I got trained at the Chopra center, and.

Seline Shenoy: Oh, I want to go there. I really want to go there.

Wendy Valentine: There it was insane. Or in Carlsbad, I met Deepak Chopra.

Seline Shenoy: Twice, and I told him, like, hey, I want to go there. He’s like, yeah, you should come.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, he’s a hoot. Yeah. But I remember, I did one of the retreats, and he was asking.

Seline Shenoy: We.

Wendy Valentine: We had to answer the question, who am I? And naturally, you were like, oh, you know, I’m a doctor, I’m a woman, I’m a sister, I’m. You know, I. I’m a baker, I’m a cook, I’m a this, I’m a that. It’s like, nope, nope, nope. Like, and you keep going underneath it, and then it’s just like, I am just. And. And that’s another important question that we need to ask ourselves. Like, who are you underneath all of those labels? Who are you, really?

Seline Shenoy: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Because, I mean, you come into the world with no labels, and you’re going to leave the world with no labels. So it’s like, who are you underneath all of that? And that’s the. To me, it’s the. It’s the intangible that is the most powerful. It’s what. It’s the invisible that is more. The invisible is way more powerful than the visible.

Seline Shenoy: Absolutely.

Wendy Valentine: And I think once. But, yeah, once we can grasp that knowing that we’re more than the body that we’re, you know, that we’re cruising through in this lifetime. You know, like, we’re more than these thoughts and these beliefs and the.

Seline Shenoy: You hear on the news, the conditioned thinking. Yes.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, we’re so much more than all of that. Like, you strip away all of that. That’s like. That’s the good stuff. That’s. That’s the, That.

A lot of people are terrified about facing that part of themselves

Seline Shenoy: Hello.

Wendy Valentine: Not the candy wrapper. Right.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, but they’re. A lot of people are terrified about facing that part of themselves. You’d be surprised. Yeah. So they drown it. They just. I don’t know, they kind of just try to mask it with escapism. Like, they try to drink it. Drink or, like, take drugs or, like, shop too much or, you know, they don’t want to face that side of themselves for whatever reason. Or they might just think it’s. Why bother? Like, what. What good is it gonna do? Right? Like, it’s just better to swim in the shallow end of the pool. or maybe they just don’t know how. It’s like completely out of their. Completely, you know, they don’t know how to do it. It’s not within their, within their bandwidth of thinking.

Wendy Valentine: Right, exactly like. And you have to really want it.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, you have to really want it and. Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: Because I mean, I don’t know if.

Seline Shenoy: You’Ve ever talked to. Sorry, go ahead.

Wendy Valentine: No, go ahead, you go first.

Seline Shenoy: I don’t know if you’ve ever spoken to anyone who’s like an old timer or like people who came from a time when they were just in survival mode. Right. People who grew up in. During the Depression or the world wars. And for them it’s just like that was a luxury. So. So we have to acknowledge that to, tap into that part of ourselves is a privilege.

Seline Shenoy: A lot of human beings in history were not able to do that because they were just keeping their head above the water. so people from older generations who are lived. Or even people who are living in war zones right now, that’s not something that they consider. So I think, it’s important to, to make a note of that.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, very true. And yeah. And at the same time, like you hear how was the name of that m. Holocaust survivor, the book?

Seline Shenoy: Oh yeah. Edith. Edith Eva or Victor Frankel. The one.

Wendy Valentine: Victor Frankel. Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: Frankel Frankl. I spoke to an expert. He’s like, it’s Frankel.

Wendy Valentine: But kind of going back to what we were saying before about like we’re really the ones that imprison ourselves. And like you look at these people that, I mean we’re in these extreme, the, the worst conditions that you can possibly imagine.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. But it’s interesting, Wendy.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: Even within those circumstances, Frank said you they could find freedom by finding. Just gonna say, finding a sense of meaning. And really. Because that’s all they had in those times. That’s all they could hold on to. Hope and just trying to wrap their heads around their circumstances and be like. Because they’re like, why this is just. And they had to really dig deep to find, to create a narrative that worked for them and made, them feel better in that moment, despite all the atrocities that they were going through.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, yeah. You think like it would be so easy to just go sit in a cave, you know, in lotus position and achieve peace. You know what I mean? But really the key is to be in the world, but not of it is to be in the midst of all of this chaos in the world and still be at peace. And to still have that freedom and to still have the connection like that.

Seline Shenoy: That’S the ultimate challenge.

Wendy Valentine: That’s the old. Yeah, exactly. That’s. That’s nirvana. That’s like.

Seline Shenoy: That is nirvana.

Wendy Valentine: That’s the exhale of the soul. Yeah, yeah.

Seline Shenoy: I mean, that’s not to say that modern day problems are not something that, yeah. That, that can hurt us or that can, They’re still hard. I mean, pain is pain. Right?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: So, I think just. The human condition is universal and I think we just need to find, things, find techniques, find ways of thinking and mindsets that can work for us and help us navigate all of these storms that we all inevitably will go through.

Wendy says being mindful of mortality becomes increasingly important as you get older

Wendy Valentine: Oh, yeah, I know.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: I mean, I mean, if you can, you know, make it out of here without any, any bruises or scars like. Holy moly.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. It’s impossible.

Wendy Valentine: Likely.

Seline Shenoy: It’s impossible. You. Unless you’re a monk who’s living in a secluded monastery.

Wendy Valentine: Exactly.

Seline Shenoy: It’s impossible.

Wendy Valentine: I know. And I, you know, I think about, I think about my audience a lot. I think about my listeners a lot. And okay, we’re, we’re all here, you know, most likely between the ages of 40 and 60. Ish, whatever. I m. Do have some, you know, younger peeps listening too, which is cool.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah.

Wendy Valentine: But you think at this age, like, we have friends that are starting to pass away, our parents are passing away, relatives. Yeah. I mean, there are people are, you know, getting cancer or. There’s lots of struggles and challenges, like right in our faces at this stage in life. And this is. I always, I, try my best in my own life because that’s all I can control is me. M. If there’s any challenge that pops up, I always pause and go, okay, what can I learn from this? How can I grow from this? And just try to. You make the best of it, whatever it is, you do the best you can. That’s all you can do.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. No, I love that you bring that up because it’s so easy to get cynical and get jaded as we go through really difficult, you know, situations in life and as we lose people who are dear to us. You know, just the other day I was reflecting on all the people that, I’ve lost, and I was just. It really got me down. But then I had to do what, what you did. Like, really, be grateful for the times that I shared with them and, learn how to accept the finality of death and the transient nature of life. I Think that is something that all. All of us need to grapple with as we get older. because when you’re younger, you feel like your. Your time horizon’s pretty. Pretty.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, you’re like.

Seline Shenoy: You feel like you’re gonna. You feel like you’re gonna live forever. You’re a rock star, your friends are gonna be around you forever. And, yeah, we. That’s not something that we need to face. But, yeah, as we get older, we’re like, okay, you know, this. This is gonna end someday, and I’m gonna lose people I love. And, tragedies happen. Bad things happen.

Wendy Valentine: Yep.

Seline Shenoy: So we have to resist getting. Getting to that place of cynicism and really, try to. Try to focus on. On the beauty of life and what we’re grateful for and the goodness that’s there on this planet. Because there’s plenty. There’s plenty.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, I know, exactly. It’s whatever you focus on. The quote from, Is it Mary Oliver? She says, what will you do with your one wild and precious life?

Seline Shenoy: Yes.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I mean, your life is so precious. Like, it’s. I. I try to remind myself of that. I’m like, holy crap, again. I’m just. I’m hoping I can get it all done before I go, you know?

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. I think being very intentional in how you spend your time, I think that becomes increasingly more important as you get older.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. I mean, going back to your saying M, it’s like you get to a point where you’re like, just don’t care about stupid crap. Because you’re like, no, my life.

Seline Shenoy: You can’t. Yeah. Life is so short. Don’t waste it. Don’t waste your energy on. On people who don’t deserve it or on situations that are going nowhere. Because if you listen to your gut, you’ll know that when something is not working out or is not for you, but we’re just too scared to, like, listen and to really, like, acknowledge, that. But we do know, like, especially by our age, Wendy. We do.

Wendy Valentine: We,

Seline Shenoy: We have that. That intuitive feeling that this. This is going nowhere and just to have the courage to let go and try something different.

Wendy Valentine: Pivot when you need to pivot.

Permission to pivot is the way to go

Seline Shenoy: Oh, yeah. Pivot. Permission is the way to go. Permission to pivot.

Wendy Valentine: I like that I give you permission to pivot. You may.

Seline Shenoy: Well, thank you. Thank.

What is a meaningful, fulfilling life for you

Wendy Valentine: So, last question for you. What, What is a meaningful, fulfilling life? What does that mean to you?

Seline Shenoy: A meaningful and fulfilling life? I think it’s feeling. Feeling a sense of accomplishment. I think, through My creative efforts, and I feel like creativity has been very healing for me. When I started writing my blog around 10 years ago, and just being able to express myself and what I believe in, I feel like that brought so much meaning to me. so, and of course, if it can impact other people in a positive way, that’s, that’s a bonus. And that’s what happened. And I can tell you all the other superficial stuff took a backseat, you know?

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: there was a phase in my life where I was kind of in the social circuit. I was, I, and I was not a big party animal, but I was a bit of a socialite. and I felt lost. I mean, I, I was, I had fun up to a certain point, but then later on I was like, I’m getting tired of this. Right. I’m not feeling, it’s not doing it for me anymore. I felt that I was just not getting satiated. Even though I was wearing nice dresses, I was, you know, hanging out with popular kids and, and go to nice houses. After a certain point, I said, I, I, I just, I don’t want to do this anymore. And then I thought to myself, okay, what can I do? Like, and, and, and I always had the sense that I was burdened by my potential. I felt like there was something in me that needed to birth. So then I, I, I heard from a lot of people about my writing skills and that I should give vlogging a try. And then I started that and I never looked back because I couldn’t believe how much happiness I got from just channeling all those, the inspiration that I had within me. That’s definitely something that, is part of having a meaningful life for me, like creativity, creative freedom, and also finding a community of people that I can have a good relationship, with. I think that’s become increasingly more important to me as I’ve, you know, as I’ve gotten older. in the past, I felt like I was a bit of a, I was more independent. But then, now I feel like I want to have, I want to cultivate more meaningful relationships. and that’s something that’s, I’ve been focusing on for the past two years. so I think having meaningful connections, and having really stimulating, exchanges with people.

Wendy Valentine: Deeper, a deeper connection.

Seline Shenoy: Deeper, deeper connection. I think that’s something we all need, especially now when people are feeling more and more lonely, you know?

Wendy Valentine: Isn’t that interesting?

Seline Shenoy: Yeah. And I think that you can’t go it alone, really. Don’t, don’t even try. Don’t even try. Like, get out there, join groups, join organizations, join online forums. I mean, I’d prefer meeting, people in person. like we used to in the past.

Wendy Valentine: So the old days.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, the old days. Go out for a coffee with friends. Like, just, just do it. Like you, you’d feel so much better. So much better. And yeah, especially if you’re a creative person or someone who works alone a lot. You definitely need to get out. because we, as social beings, we need connection. I mean, we need that. It’s just something that, that, yeah. even for me, like, makes us come alive.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Like, I work alone a lot because I’m doing a lot of writing and stuff for the show. And right now I’m, I’m teaching my, my Freedom at Midlife program. And we meet once a week and it’s so nice. I look forward to it because I’m like, there you go, there you go. As you know to being a podcast host, it’s sometimes can be like a monologue. You’re just like sitting here and you’re like, is anyone. You don’t really get to interact. We get to interact with our podcast guests. So get to interact with your audience. And so it’s, it’s city when listening, like, no one’s saying anything. Literally, like, so.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get it.

Wendy Valentine: With others, I get it. And in a more soulful, level instead of the typical, like, you know, superficial type of relationships. So it’s, it’s good. Yeah, like, I mean, that was good advice because you, there are so many ways to connect with other people out there in the world.

Seline Shenoy: Like. Yeah. And, be more resourceful, like, and creative in, in terms of, like, where are you gonna go to find them, you know, like. Yeah, like what? Like you went to the Chopra Center. I’m sure you met a lot of like minded people there.

Wendy Valentine: Oh my God, yes.

Seline Shenoy: There you go.

Wendy Valentine: I was gonna say too. Sometimes you’ll stumble m. You know, upon your, you know, your purpose, when you’re meeting these other people and doing other things.

Seline Shenoy: So true.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah, so true.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, you can make really valuable connections, you know, for business as well. So there’s, it’s a win. Win. Really.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Wendy: I love your book cover. I just love it. And your branding is on point

So where can we find you and how do we get your book?

Seline Shenoy: Thanks for asking. you can learn more about me, and you can listen to my podcast, the Dreamcatcher podcast on Seline chinoy.com. you can follow me on Instagram at Celine Chinoy and you can purchase the book wherever books are sold.

Wendy Valentine: It’s a pretty cover, too. I like it.

Seline Shenoy: Oh, thank you.

Wendy Valentine: Thank you very much. I know you’re not supposed to judge the book by its cover, but I do, and it’s good. It’s really good. Yeah. The nomadic.

Seline Shenoy: Yeah, I’ve got. I’ve got a few compliments on the. Yeah, I’m very happy with the. With the team. The design team and my publisher. They did a really good job.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah.

Seline Shenoy: I mean, I gave them. I sent them a mood board and I told them my basic, like, what. The vision I had for it, and they just did their magic.

Wendy Valentine: Yeah. Thank you so much. It was great to meet you, Wendy.

Seline Shenoy: Thank you so much. It was such a pleasure to be on your show. You are a wonderful host. You’re so vivacious. You’re full of energy. I just love it. And your branding is on point.

Wendy Valentine: Oh, thank you. Yeah, I try. No, it matches me. It’s. It’s my absolutely, absolutely authentic branding.

Seline Shenoy: Keep being you.

Wendy Valentine: Yes. Oh, thank you. All right, everyone, have a great day.

Seline Shenoy: Bye.